sagitarrius Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 Well i dont have anyone to talk to at home so i would appreciate all the advice yall can give me.here goes my story. First of all im married with three kids.been with my husband 10yrs.i love him and were doing good.i trust him n he trust me. I was on facebook the other day and found my first love,i gave him my virginity back in 8th grade.i was his first too...so i sent him a message on fb and he sent me his number,first i didnt call him right away i was only trying to be his friend on fb.so i sent him a text n he was all like wow, u dont know how long i been lookin for u,i never got over u,dah dah dah.he says hes single never married n no kids...i told him i was married n had kids hes like awww im sad cuz i was lookin to be with u i been lookin for u a long time.i said we can be friends, he says yeah thats cool but dont think i wont try to win u over...i was like wtf cuz im not trying to do my husband wrong..so we talked for a while n he wants to meet up!!! What do yall think i should do, i would love to have him as a friend and i already told him i was not leavin my husband. Should i meet up with him?he wants to have lunch tomorrow..!!
GorillaTheater Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 I think he's made it pretty clear that he won't be satisfied with "just friends", and even if he acted like he was you're still playing with fire here. I think you need to make a choice: your marriage or "friendship" with this guy. Because if you don't make the choice now, I'd bet that you'll HAVE to make that choice at some point in the future, and under less favorable circumstances.
quankanne Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 nothing good will come from meeting up with someone from the past if one or both of you still are carrying a flame for the other. Frankly, if you're intent on remaining married, you need to back off contact with this guy and not hesitate to go underground if he keeps making noises about your old relationship and you being the one that got away. Sure it's interesting to reconnect with people from our pasts, but often it's a gift with strings attached, and the second your husband realizes this was your first love, poop is gonna hit the fan. save yourself the grief and tell the boy goodbye. Even if you need your ego stroked (and that's something we all need from time to time, no matter how long we've been married ) it's not worth making your marriage miserable ...
FryFish Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 No! Dont go meet him. Unfriend him on facebood! This is one of the guys that you cant be "just friends" with. He already told you that.
Bryanp Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 If the roles were reversed how would you feel if your husband wanted to meet up with his first love? This is so disrespectful to your husband. He already told you he was trying to win you over. Don't be such a fool.
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 Well i dont have anyone to talk to at home so i would appreciate all the advice yall can give me.here goes my story. First of all im married with three kids.been with my husband 10yrs.i love him and were doing good.i trust him n he trust me. I was on facebook the other day and found my first love,i gave him my virginity back in 8th grade.i was his first too...so i sent him a message on fb and he sent me his number,first i didnt call him right away i was only trying to be his friend on fb.so i sent him a text n he was all like wow, u dont know how long i been lookin for u,i never got over u,dah dah dah.he says hes single never married n no kids...i told him i was married n had kids hes like awww im sad cuz i was lookin to be with u i been lookin for u a long time.i said we can be friends, he says yeah thats cool but dont think i wont try to win u over...i was like wtf cuz im not trying to do my husband wrong..so we talked for a while n he wants to meet up!!! What do yall think i should do, i would love to have him as a friend and i already told him i was not leavin my husband. Should i meet up with him?he wants to have lunch tomorrow..!! It depends.... Why did you contact him in the firstplace? Clearly you wanted his attention for something.
Author sagitarrius Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 thanks to all who responded! yall all made so much sense,i needed someone to knock some sense in me. this dude clearly wants me,yall should here the way he talks to me on the phone, not perverted or n e thing but like hes really still in love with me! i am not willing to risk my family just to meet up with him.i think i might change my # too. im so glad i found this site...yall all feel like famiy now...
quankanne Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 LOL, just think of us as older, but wiser versions of yourself ... most of us have been in the same situation (to some degree), and understand the repercussions! seriously, though ... leave it at that, and tell him that you didn't want anything more than to say hello, otherwise, you're opening up a huge can of worms ... and some of them have TEETH ...
lkjh Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 not trying to knock your ego or anything but he probably does not love you. He is fishing, basically throwing out bulls*** to see if he can hook up with. We(men) lie to get with girls, we will say stuff like "we have always loved you", "I never felt this way for a woman", and the best one "you were always special". Don't fall for this crap
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 thanks to all who responded! yall all made so much sense,i needed someone to knock some sense in me. this dude clearly wants me,yall should here the way he talks to me on the phone, not perverted or n e thing but like hes really still in love with me! i am not willing to risk my family just to meet up with him.i think i might change my # too. im so glad i found this site...yall all feel like famiy now... I think you made a very good choice. This guy is nothing but heartache for you in the future. However... just out of passing curiosity... How is your marriage right now? Is it lacking anything?
Author sagitarrius Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 I think you made a very good choice. This guy is nothing but heartache for you in the future. However... just out of passing curiosity... How is your marriage right now? Is it lacking anything? well honestly i love my husband with all my heart but since we've had the kids we just dont make time for ourselves like we used to. its become routine; work,home,dinner,bed,repeat. And when we do have time alone we are so tired we find ourselves yawning and passing out early to bed..LOL
Author sagitarrius Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 not trying to knock your ego or anything but he probably does not love you. He is fishing, basically throwing out bulls*** to see if he can hook up with. We(men) lie to get with girls, we will say stuff like "we have always loved you", "I never felt this way for a woman", and the best one "you were always special". Don't fall for this crap OMG!!!! thats sounds exactly like what he was saying!! i swear if i had not found this site i probably would have made a huge,huuge mistake!
Woggle Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 well honestly i love my husband with all my heart but since we've had the kids we just dont make time for ourselves like we used to. its become routine; work,home,dinner,bed,repeat. And when we do have time alone we are so tired we find ourselves yawning and passing out early to bed..LOL If you can hypothetically make time for whatever would have happened with this guy you and your husband can make for each other.
PegNosePete Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 You have to put in effort to keep a marriage alive. Reconnect with your husband and make time for each other. If you put in some effort I'm sure he will reciprocate; if he doesn't then you need to discuss it with him, or try MC (it's not just for people who are fighting, it's for improving what you've got). I'm glad you found out the easy way (posting here) rather than the hard way, like so many of us have!!!
fredcollins Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 He sounds a little looney carrying on the way he is. If you don't think you can control yourself then don't go. Guys do lie, I'm sure there's a good reason why he is still single. However, is lunch cheating?
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