That_girl Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 I have just started seeing a wonderful man. He is charming, sexy, and adventurous. The relationship is not exactly long-distance....we both live in the city, but he often travels for work and pleasure. We have only been seeing each other for a month, but he has already told me that he wants this to be exclusive and that he has deep feelings for me. I feel the same way about him, however I was a little apprehensive about all of the commitment talk. The problem is that he just went on a month-long trip with a bunch of friends. Why did he feel the need to stake a claim on me so badly before he left the country?! I feel like I shouldn't have been so passive about the whole thing because I'm not at the point where a.) I want to be someone's girlfriend again, b.) I don't know him well enough to trust that he's not going to f*ck someone else while he's away. I kind of already agreed that this would be a relationship, but I'm having second thoughts. I feel like the whole thing was so rushed. How should I break this to him when he gets back? I just want to take things slow and get to know each other....I don't think he understands. He's kind of all or nothing, it's making me feel like he could be a bit controlling in the future.
skip2mylou333 Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 im not an expert but, i say go with your gut, your 1st instinct.. im in a long distance relationship and I will tell you why its worth it for me. 1, its not worth it to let her go because i cant see her all the time because then i would be giving up the 1 person that loves me for me, and she gives me no drama, we have all the trust in the world. iv been thru alot of bad relationships in the past and finally have a good one. and we been in this long distance relationship 2 years already. If you arnt ready then you have to be honest with him. relationships are built off of trust so you should be honest with him and then explain to him why ur being honest. if he cant understand then maybe u wernt ment for each other. but write down the pros and cons of being in a relationship with him. if the cons out weight the pros then ya get to know him more. hope this helps
Omei Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 The problem is that he just went on a month-long trip with a bunch of friends. Why did he feel the need to stake a claim on me so badly before he left the country?! I feel like I shouldn't have been so passive about the whole thing because I'm not at the point where a.) I want to be someone's girlfriend again, b.) I don't know him well enough to trust that he's not going to f*ck someone else while he's away. Maybe he wanted to make the claim on you so bad before you left because of how much he likes you and wanted you to still be there for him when he returns so this makes me think he most likely wont be doing something else with any other woman since that was so important to him before his leaving, maybe hes thinking the same thing and was worried you too might find someone while he was away. Its your choice if you want to be in a relationship or not but if hes as wonderful as you first stated in the beginning of your post maybe you should give him a chance? And if he really wants to be with you he'll take it slow, my guess is that you wanna be friends first or go on dates if hes interested in YOU and not interested in just being with someone he'll do it.
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