MizzBlue72 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Don't do it!! You are angry at her - and rightly so. Tell her you will tell her husband ... and let her worry. I would think that is payback enough. How do you know the H won't come and attack you?? There is so much you do not know. . . . I would find out more first. If you do tell - do it anonymously ....
seren Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I am sorry that you have been decieved and are hurting, as a BS I can relate to that, you thought the woman you loved was truthful and honest and found out otherwise, ditto, it hurts and the feeling that you have been duped and made to feel a fool is mingled with the pain of knowing you gave your heart to someone who was lying. It gets easier, there was nothing you could do to pre empt this, you trusted someone who abused your trust. As to the telling, I can see that your A was not of your choosing and so is different from other A's when people say to tell the BS Although if you look at it, it is either right to tell from the beginning and not at the end, or keep schtum. To tell at the beginning would be for the BS purpose, to tell at the end just seems like revenge, but yours is different as you didn't know. I didn't tell the OW's BS because on finding out about him, knew that he would physically hurt her, they had children, and I feared that she would be hurt, physically. Of course her H should know, as a BS I would have loved someone to tell me, BUT, I couldn't do it. As it was, someone else did it and he went absolutely bonkers, she ended up in a women's shelter for a while and I felt so, so sorry for her, I was the first person she rang and helped her find a shelter (bloody madness all round). I also never thought of revenge, why would I? after all she was nothing to me or my marriage after D Day. I just think that you need to do what is right for you, not for anyone else, just you. If you told he might be pissed at you (I know it isn't rational) or he might throw her out, it's your call really. I just caution telling through anger or revenge.
Summer Breeze Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 She's a contract worker and he lives far away. I'd like a little more detail please. It's also funny that a friend gave out information that could cause legal problems. I'd say she must be clerical because if she were in management I doubt the info would be so easily shared. More details on how this was all hidden for 6 months and how she could afford to live away from her husband (unless the contract work was really well paid obviously). You said you were kissing and spending time in public-so what. If she didn't live there it was a calculated risk. What about her family and friends and didn't she spend weekends at home with him? Did she ever give you a home phone number and if it wasn't where she normally was where was it? I'm sure it's all a legit story but there are a whol lotta holes.
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