Viscious Vendetta Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 Hi good people of Loveshack, I am so angry with a woman. I was seeing her for 6 months. It was going really great and I was really interested in her. Yesterday, I found out that she is married I am so mad. She emailed me a bunch of bullsh^t about she's sorry. Her marriage is so bad, she is gathering the strength to leave, please forgive her, blech. She lied. SHE LIED. SHE. LIED. SHE LIED! I feel like an idiot. She must have really thought I was stupid. I have to tell my mom that the great girl she met last week is married. How could I have missed the signs when there weren't any. We went everywhere in public, even kissed in public! I am so mad. I don't know how a woman who said she loved me could lie to me like this. Fine line between love and hate. I hate her now. I'll never look at her the same again. People should never believe everything they are told. Unless it's from family. I am thinking about telling her husband what a liar he has for a wife. What do you think about that?
WowReally Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 Wow Im so sorry...that really bites! How did you find out she was married?
BB07 Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 (edited) Welcome to LS VV, I know what you are feeling because I found myself into a similar predicament. I had been dating a man for almost 2 years who I thought was separated and was well on his way to a divorce. Turns out he wasn't separated at all, he was very much married. It was truly devastating, as I really loved this man and thought we had a future together. I'm 2 months out from it and it's getting easier, but some days are still hard. Hang in there and keep posting. Edited September 13, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Confused4Now Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 Hi good people of Loveshack, I am so angry with a woman. I was seeing her for 6 months. It was going really great and I was really interested in her. Yesterday, I found out that she is married I am so mad. She emailed me a bunch of bullsh^t about she's sorry. Her marriage is so bad, she is gathering the strength to leave, please forgive her, blech. She lied. SHE LIED. SHE. LIED. SHE LIED! I feel like an idiot. She must have really thought I was stupid. I have to tell my mom that the great girl she met last week is married. How could I have missed the signs when there weren't any. We went everywhere in public, even kissed in public! I am so mad. I don't know how a woman who said she loved me could lie to me like this. Fine line between love and hate. I hate her now. I'll never look at her the same again. People should never believe everything they are told. Unless it's from family. I am thinking about telling her husband what a liar he has for a wife. What do you think about that?Did you have sex with her yet? Be glad you've only invested 6 months. After whats happened to me I make sure I ask every woman if they are divorced or make sure they are not in a relationship. Sorry to hear....I know exactly how you feel with the anger of course.
Hazyhead Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 Although I think that her husband deserves to know, I'm not sure it would be the best step for YOU. It may give you some sense of catharsis, for a moment anyway, but there may be consequences that could come back at you. What if you get dragged into the mess? I know it's said a million times here, but the best revenge is to live and have a fab time without her. You sound young, there'll be plenty more for you
TinaniT Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 While I'm pretty much 100% against telling if you knew your partner was married the whole time, if you were lied to then I think it's fair game. So whatever brings you the most peace. Sorry you were lied to like that for so long. Good luck.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 I am thinking about telling her husband what a liar he has for a wife. What do you think about that? I think you should do it. He deserves to know what a ho he is married to. that way he can make a decision whether to stay, or whether to put her on the street.
Shakz Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 Frankly, I find it hard to believe you were with this woman for six months and only now discover she's married. She is either very good at covering her tracks or you are as blind as a bat. Stay away from this lying devil at all costs but say nothing to her husband. It's his problem, and, thankfully, no longer yours. He will find out soon enough, or did you think you were the one and only?
Author Viscious Vendetta Posted September 13, 2010 Author Posted September 13, 2010 Hi again, A friend of a friend works in HR for the same company is how I found out. Get this! She is not even an employee! She's a contract employee! She told me she moved here to take her dream job! She lied about everything, even her age. I have decided to tell her husband if I can figure out how to get in touch with him. I didn't do anything wrong so I'm not afraid. BB07! I'm sorry to know that. I hope you are doing ok. VV
Author Viscious Vendetta Posted September 13, 2010 Author Posted September 13, 2010 Hi Shakz, I am a good person. I based all my actions on her lies. He probably did too. It will be okay. Hey, unless she lied about this too, he lives pretty far away. I have a pretty good head start if he wants to come kick my ass LOL! Well folks, my best friend is taking pity on me and buying the first round. I'm out to have a drink or few. Have a good night, Loveshack people!
freestyle Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 I'm usually in favor of informing a BS---however in this scenario, I think you would be wisest to do it anonymously. You're dealing w/an unknown variable---the guy might blow a gasket and take it out on you.Even though you didn't do anything wrong..........he could react out of blind rage. You know nothing about him, except that he's married to someone severely lacking in the conscience department. Who knows, the wife might even claim that you're stalking her, just to save her own skin---I wouldn't put it past her. She's already proven herself to be a liar. Sorry you had to go though this---it sucks when people misrepresent who they are, and toy with people's feelings.
lilbunny Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 VV I am so sorry this has happened. I am inclined to agree with lots of the other comments here. It might be that you invite an awful lot of hassle into your life and end up being portrayed badly, despite the fact that you are an innocent party in this situation. I know you must be angry and I absolutely understand those feelings, but it will be easier for you to heal if you can distance yourself from the situation and not let it consume you. Don't allow anger to turn into bitterness, move on and find someone wonderful when you are ready. Being happy and content is a great revenge!
wheelwright Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Honestly, if someone had played me like this, I would WALK AWAY no regrets no conversation no revenge. Not worth it springs to mind? Do what has the most dignity. And enjoy doing it.
lkjh Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Dude most of the people that say don't tell are usually the cheaters or the people involved with married people. The H has a right to know
NoIDidn't Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Dude most of the people that say don't tell are usually the cheaters or the people involved with married people. The H has a right to know That's not fair to say. The only married person I'm dealing with is my H, and I say don't tell him either. Its its own hassle. I'd do as wheelwright because I've already had to do it many times in my life before I met my H. Walk away. Not another word. It IS dignified. And it doesn't make you have to answer the questions from a hurting man about what his W was doing with you. Her H will find out soon enough from someone with less class.
WalkInThePark Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Her marriage is so bad, she is gathering the strength to leave, please forgive her, blech. Whether it is a MM or a MW, they all give the same excuses. I feel like an idiot. She must have really thought I was stupid. I understand how you feel. 've been there myself. Trusting someone does NOT make you an idiot. A friend of mine told me: "It's only a thief who expects that someone will steal from him." If you are an honest person yourself, then you expect others to be honest as well. I don't know how a woman who said she loved me could lie to me like this. I don't understand it either. It's psychological abuse. I am thinking about telling her husband what a liar he has for a wife. What do you think about that? If you feel that you are absolutely done with her, then do it. It helps to restore the balance. But if you do it hoping she will leave her husband and come running to you, you are in for a rude awakening. She most probably will tell him that it did not mean anything and she will try to minimalize it. If you tell her husband, make sure you have proof of everything: mails, lists of phone calls and text messages.
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 I'm not sure telling is a good idea. An accomplished liar like that can have her husband believing that you are some deranged stalker that won't leave her alone and will stop at nothing to damage her marriage. Your best bet is to just walk away.
Author Viscious Vendetta Posted September 15, 2010 Author Posted September 15, 2010 I have a way to get his number from HR without anyone knowing. I am getting it ASAP. Will update if anyone wants to know the outcome. VV
someday Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Your HR friend is putting themselves in real danger by giving you confidential information. If this friend gets caught they will be fired. Also, have you considered that this woman’s H may assault her, you...or worse...? I'd say walk away.
Golon Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 (edited) I would get the number but make no call for a few days. It will give you time to calmly consider whether you want to go ahead, once it is done it can't be undone. It would also be good to give yourself a few days to think what it is you want to say. I know you are mad but weigh it up first- see the pros and cons of making the call, mixed advice here, I would be in two minds. Take a step back, calm down and then act. I was in this situation many years ago. I was seeing a guy, told me him and his girlfriend had split, few months later she returns from a holiday unaware. I felt a total idiot. I wasn't dignified at all, ended up with me confronting him in a pub, a very public outing and I came away looking the worse, okay I was 17 but after I wished I'd thought of how to do it. I am sure you are much older and much more sensible but the point I am making is to take a step back for at least two days and then act Edited September 15, 2010 by Golon additional info
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 If you are going to tell him, you will want to have rock solid evidence that can't possibly be faked (ie: she would not be able to convince her H that you faked it in other words). If it comes to her word against yours, in the absence of proof it will be hers that wins over in the end.
White Flower Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Dude most of the people that say don't tell are usually the cheaters or the people involved with married people. The H has a right to know I'm actually on the side of telling this time. This woman went so far as to meet VV's mother and lied about all aspects of her life. She is one scary woman and her H deserves to know who he is living with. This isn't the case of I've been stuck in an unhappy M for 30 years and I'm trying to get out. This has mental case written all over it.
White Flower Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I'm not sure telling is a good idea. An accomplished liar like that can have her husband believing that you are some deranged stalker that won't leave her alone and will stop at nothing to damage her marriage. Your best bet is to just walk away. If you are going to tell him, you will want to have rock solid evidence that can't possibly be faked (ie: she would not be able to convince her H that you faked it in other words). If it comes to her word against yours, in the absence of proof it will be hers that wins over in the end. All true. VV, you will need evidence. Maybe let him call your mother?
Author Viscious Vendetta Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 I have video evidence.
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