GooseChaser Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 At your response to my quoted post: oh okay, nice. How do you get all of these guys to be okay with not being exclusive with you? Are they just people who aren't interested in commitment, or have already commited to someone else?
Dexter Morgan Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 I called him this morning to know more.. he said he wants to try to be faithful... he's got too much to lose.. his kids.. if he loses it all, he deserves it. hope it was worth it to him, I'm sure he is thinking it was not. sucks to be him. Oh well... I wished him well.. and told him he should be a responsible dad... and a good H... LMFAO....*choke* *eyes watering*.....oh my....good H....that is a good one. He said 'We'll get together again... in heaven'.. LOL, what a sap. and what makes him think he's going to heaven?
Dexter Morgan Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 I truly hope he will smarten up.. as he is extremely intelligent and has a very successful business on his hands cool, she'll be entitled to half of it.
whichwayisup Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 He does have alot to lose, even more so since you aren't inlove with him, nor do you want him as a committed boyfriend. If he is stupid enough to cheat on his wife with you again at some point in the future and you say yes to him, then he deserves what he gets. To be alone, still have you to have sex with and have partial custody of his kids, child support and spousal support too. Does this guy even love his wife? He may be great in bed and you two are addicted to one another, but he has issues and priority problems. Anyway, I hope you're doing alright Lizzie. Been a long time since I've seen you on LS.
Author Lizzie60 Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 He does have alot to lose, even more so since you aren't inlove with him, nor do you want him as a committed boyfriend. If he is stupid enough to cheat on his wife with you again at some point in the future and you say yes to him, then he deserves what he gets. To be alone, still have you to have sex with and have partial custody of his kids, child support and spousal support too. Does this guy even love his wife? He may be great in bed and you two are addicted to one another, but he has issues and priority problems. Anyway, I hope you're doing alright Lizzie. Been a long time since I've seen you on LS. I'm doing great.. I'm not addicted to him at all.. in fact, if he ever calls again.. it will be NO... I will not see him anymore.. I'm getting tired of all that sh*t anyway.. He has (from what he told me) all the sex he wants at home... He does love her very much.. I think he's realizing now that his family has to come first.. that his 2 young boys need both parents, full time, not just on weekends.. Why would a guy jeopardize his children's happiness (and/or future) just for a piece of ***.
JamesM Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 He has (from what he told me) all the sex he wants at home... He does love her very much.. I think he's realizing now that his family has to come first.. that his 2 young boys need both parents, full time, not just on weekends.. Why would a guy jeopardize his children's happiness (and/or future) just for a piece of ***. While I can see why a guy would want to be with you, I cannot understand why a MM who has plenty of sex at home would. Like you said, risking the family for something he already has seems ridiculous. Now I can understand if he had no home sex life. Lizzie, I can only imagine the addiction withdrawals HE is going through right now. My guess is that inside has is telling himself that someday in the future he can stray again. I doubt that he is saying "Never again" with much conviction...except outwardly to his wife. Ironically, I doubt she expects him to be faithful at this stage of their relationship. She simply has decided that there is more benefits with him than without him.
Author Lizzie60 Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 While I can see why a guy would want to be with you, I cannot understand why a MM who has plenty of sex at home would. Like you said, risking the family for something he already has seems ridiculous. Now I can understand if he had no home sex life. Lizzie, I can only imagine the addiction withdrawals HE is going through right now. My guess is that inside has is telling himself that someday in the future he can stray again. I doubt that he is saying "Never again" with much conviction...except outwardly to his wife. Ironically, I doubt she expects him to be faithful at this stage of their relationship. She simply has decided that there is more benefits with him than without him. James darling.. where have you been? long time .. I have seen a few MMs like him before.. they have plenty of sex at home but still wants more or wants variety.. hard to say.. In this case, he is a sex addict.. big time.. and he knows he will have all the trouble in the world to stop.. I'm sure she also knows that .. but maybe not as much as I do.. I'm sure he confided a lot more to me than to her, for obvious reasons.. Deep down, I doubt he will ever stop... but he will for a while.. I think he was pretty shaken this time.. she was ready to move out.. she knew the last 2 times he was at my place.. but he swore to her that nothing happened.. that he was at my place for business. She seems to believe that part..
Author Lizzie60 Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 Why would you just want to be a piece of azz to these MM lizzie??? Do you get off on it? Why dont you say no to them? Dont you get tired of dealing with all this crap? I would be. I rarely have any problems like this.. it usually goes much smoother..
JamesM Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 James darling.. where have you been? long time .. It has been. I will have to catch up with you sometime. I think he was pretty shaken this time.. she was ready to move out.. But she didn't. And since she never has, then he can convince himself that she never will...until she finally does. Of course, she could also be building up her financial reserves and planning for an exit if it happens again, but he will never know that until it does. My guess is that SHE will be happier without him, but his addiction to other women will lose its excitement if it doesn't have to be done in secret. But hey...I don't care about him. No matter how factual you sound, you still lost someone who was a part of your life. So...hugs.
Owl Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I don't know...it's really hard to guess how much emotional investment Lizzie has with her MM....but I'd suspect that if she does have more with some than others, he was probably one of the main ones she felt a little more for. On the other hand...it's over for Lizzie. It's just starting (again, from the sounds of it) for his 'pretty little wife'. The kinda sad feeling that Lizzie is going to feel will be pretty much insignificant with what his wife is probably going through again. Personally, I hope his wife finds the strength to leave him. It sounds as if he's been a serial cheater for a long time...someone incapable of giving his wife the kind of relationship she's likely wanted/expected. Who knows...maybe this works out for everyone. They divorce, he pays support, she finds someone else, and he gets to go back to spending the time he can with Lizzie. THAT sounds like a win-win-win situation to me.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I wonder if she is considering leaving his untrustworthy butt. if so, hopefully her attorney picks his bones clean.
someday Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 I wonder why, if you have concern for him (her and thier children), you would knowingly enter into this R as his OW? Or did your concern for him develop after you entered into the R with him? And do you have concern for any of your other MM's (W's and children)? I'm just wondering.
Silly_Girl Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 I wonder why, if you have concern for him (her and thier children), you would knowingly enter into this R as his OW? Or did your concern for him develop after you entered into the R with him? And do you have concern for any of your other MM's (W's and children)? I'm just wondering. That last sentence read to me as "I'm just judging". Not saying you meant it that way, probably says more about me than it does about you
someday Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 I suspect that we all 'judge' to some extent. I am wondering how this works for her, probably because I doubt it could work for me. I guess I really just want to try to understand from her POV. Curiosity.
Author Lizzie60 Posted September 15, 2010 Author Posted September 15, 2010 I wonder why, if you have concern for him (her and thier children), you would knowingly enter into this R as his OW? Or did your concern for him develop after you entered into the R with him? And do you have concern for any of your other MM's (W's and children)? I'm just wondering. It's a long story.. when we first started.. he wasn't living with her.. (in fact, I thought he was single).. he then confessed he had a gf (after a a years or two in our 'relationship').. they moved together a few years ago.. then had children... (we've been seeing each other for over 6 years)... I have concern about the kids.. I don't want to hurt them.. but IMO, this is the MM's job NOT to get caught.. I do everything I can to be extremely cautious. It is their responsibility . .not mine.
Art_Critic Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 I have concern about the kids.. I don't want to hurt them.. but IMO, this is the MM's job NOT to get caught.. I do everything I can to be extremely cautious. It is their responsibility . .not mine. Fuzzy Logic Lizzie.... You had no concern for the kids or for his being a good father... There are no half truths for you, only the truth since you knew all the details and you chose to throw concern out the window. I'm not judging you but just saying you should own your part in it and you cannot just dismissed the role you played in the affair merely by using the words that you had concerns for the children and it was his lies not yours..
someday Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Ah, got it. I think mostly all MM enter into A's with the expectation of not being caught. Obviously, it doesn’t always work out the way they planned it. Now, this is just my POV but I think that we all must own our part in whatever current situation that we find ourselves in. If I choose to become more involved with my friend and his W finds out I’ve got to own my part. Not his but mine. When my H cheated I had to own my part in the breakdown of our M. Just as I hold him accountable for his actions I hold her accountable for her actions. I’ve never been able to get on board with the “MM’s Responsibility” alone stuff…because we are all a part of it. Not saying that I’m right or anyone else is wrong, just my take on it. Regardless, I wish you the best.
Author Lizzie60 Posted September 15, 2010 Author Posted September 15, 2010 I still think that it the sole responsibility of the MP to be in an A. The single person has never made any promises to anyone.. plus the single person never put a gun on the MP's head.. so if there is one person to blame it's ONLY the MP.. IMO
Author Lizzie60 Posted September 15, 2010 Author Posted September 15, 2010 I should add.. when an obese person asks for a large fries at the restaurant.. is it the waitress fault if she serves it.. or a gambler goes to the casino.. is it the people who works there that are at fault..
greengoddess Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 I should add.. when an obese person asks for a large fries at the restaurant.. is it the waitress fault if she serves it.. or a gambler goes to the casino.. is it the people who works there that are at fault.. LOL actually I think McDonalds has had some lawsuits against them blaming them for their obesity. Same with the casino.:laugh: Not saying I agree with that. Just saying.
someday Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Just cuz I'm board... I wonder if you believe that the US States overstep their bounds by establishing and enforcing non-smoking bans in public areas? No, I don’t believe that the US States do, but that’s probably because I’m a non-smoker and it benefits me.
JamesM Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 someday, that is called thread jacking and is disrespectful to the person who started the thread. However, if you are bored, then you could start a thread with that as your topic. Since there are plenty of bored folks on LS, I am sure it will begin a discussion. Lizzie, to an extent I agree with you. You do not carry most of the blame. A married man who gets little sex or is addicted to women will seek it out. If it isn't you, then it will be someone else. I can agree that if married women realized that if they do not hold up their end of the bargain and have sex with their husbands (and if they do not want it and yet still love their husbands, then they need to seek out why and solve the problem...even if it means leaving the marriage), then married men may end up finding that satisfaction in the arms of another women. I can see how a woman such as yourself can actually fulfill a need. However, when a married man who has a wife that does everything to sexually satisfy him becomes addicted to sex and wants it anywhere he can get it, IMO this is a different case. At that point, you are the "drug" of choice. Then you are hurting the individual more than helping him. Just some thoughts.
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