Variables...

[stoploss11]

When is chasing after the person a better choice then NC? There are so many painful variables that have road blocked our relationship. I don't want to see her move on at some point.

 

PS- she is mentally broken and shut off due to personal and family issues, she also has a 1 yr old at home that I adore. But has never told me to walk away or its over or anything remotely ending us.

[Billie The Puppet]

Dumpees almost never can chase.

 

Maybe and it's a strong maybe a dumpee can ask for a date after a significant amount of times has passed.

[pb&j]

My understanding is that NC serves two purposes; to (1) help you move on and (2) possibly make the other person miss you (at least in part because we want what we don't think we can have and don’t want what we perceive as “easy” or “needy”).

 

If no. 2 doesn't apply and you aren't trying to move on then I suppose NC may be unnecessary.

[Am4Real]

PB&J:

Hello.

 

NO CONTACT is strictly a healing method. Any other conceived notion is playing a game and instilling hope in the person instigating the NC game. Although posters have has limited success combining NC and eventually return of their EX, the possibilities are so limited (unscientific measure of course) one must be careful using the NC method for any such purpose.

[stoploss11]

We never really broke up. Any time things have come up, even though our contact has been limited since everything happened, things that bothered me I brought up and she then responded.

 

I got jealous of a guy at work this week, when I saw them walking back to the building together on the main street. She defended it, and it was his last day at that office. But he's been walking her out for the last 3 weeks since things got messed up again with her mother.

 

What's the likely hood he's just being a good friend? He admittedly wants her and he's good looking. Am I just crazy. We had a long text conversation at work after I saw them, where as I hadn't heard from her but a few brief times in 3 weeks.

 

If she's responding that much and hard when things bother me, am I looking too hard for something corrupt or does she still have feelings like I feel.

[Billie The Puppet]

We never really broke up. Any time things have come up, even though our contact has been limited since everything happened, things that bothered me I brought up and she then responded.

 

I got jealous of a guy at work this week, when I saw them walking back to the building together on the main street. She defended it, and it was his last day at that office. But he's been walking her out for the last 3 weeks since things got messed up again with her mother.

 

What's the likely hood he's just being a good friend? He admittedly wants her and he's good looking. Am I just crazy. We had a long text conversation at work after I saw them, where as I hadn't heard from her but a few brief times in 3 weeks.

 

If she's responding that much and hard when things bother me, am I looking too hard for something corrupt or does she still have feelings like I feel.

 

If she is distancing her self a break up is on her mind, reading your post I see insecurities which she will no doubt see as well, you say you got jealous and she has been seen with a good looking guy at work. So? Are you not good looking don't compare yourself to him it just looks as if your insecure with your own attractiveness.

[pb&j]

NO CONTACT is strictly a healing method. .

 

Lol duly noted.

[stoploss11]

So do I push for answers or let her sort her life and family affairs on her own and hope her feelings for me don't fade?

[stoploss11]

Meaning do I ask her what she wants? Does she want me to leave...etc

[flyguy23]

If she is becoming distant and becoming close to another guy, she is probably interested in him. Back off and forget about her bro