Do women cheat less or just not get caught?

[Nikki Sahagin]

We always hear about men cheating whether it be the man next door or a celebrity. We hear it so much that it almost becomes normal to accept that many men do cheat at some point. Even some men themselves will say 'men are animals and have to cheat. They can't help it.'

 

Do you believe women cheat less in general, or do they just not get caught as often as men do?

 

I mean, I know of women who have cheated, but much less. That doesn't necessarily mean anything though. Of the women I know that have cheated, most of their partners never found out.

[Mad Max]

At the very least it's equal, or even women cheating slightly more. They're just better at hiding it.

[Nikki Sahagin]

At the very least it's equal, or even women cheating slightly more. They're just better at hiding it.

 

What makes you come to this conclusion?

Why do you think women tend to hide it better than men? I have never quite figured this out. Is it that women tend to suspect men anyway and find evidence? Are men generally less suspicious of women do you think?

[Mad Max]

What makes you come to this conclusion?

Why do you think women tend to hide it better than men? I have never quite figured this out. Is it that women tend to suspect men anyway and find evidence? Are men generally less suspicious of women do you think?

 

 

Women are better liars. They know not to leave a trail. Men will often make a mistake somewhere along the way. And for the record, emotional affairs count as cheating.

[carhill]

My somewhat enlightened opinion is that women and men are equally likely to be unfaithful and the social dynamics of the respective genders enable a woman to more easily conceal her infidelities if she chooses the path of denial, absent obvious and compelling evidence. People tend to 'believe' women more than men, especially other men who want to have sex with the woman (very common) as well as family members and friends who not only want to support her but often have their own 'issues' which drive their perspective. It is the female social network as well as the ability to obsfuscate with sex, entrenched through years of investment and nurture, which enables the success of denial. Men, being generally less socially 'connected' and, historically, more publicly acknowledged to be the 'cheating gender', have a more difficult time with the denial path, once accused. So far, as a fMM, I haven't seen society to be more accepting of that perspective in a man, but YMMV. The interesting part is, given the exact same circumstances (EA), any of my wife's friends or friend's wives who have experienced that dynamic with myself could merely suggest that they were 'going through a tough time and needed someone to talk to', or outright deny that anything ever happened, and people would believe them. In fact, they have. It's a wonderful side effect of the differences in gender. They believe in how they *feel* so others support that feeling.

 

Experiences here on LS differ but this has been my overwhelming observation in real life in my age group and social circle. One datapoint.

[Woggle]

They cheat the same but people assume women are honest so they get away with it more.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Women are better liars. They know not to leave a trail. Men will often make a mistake somewhere along the way. And for the record, emotional affairs count as cheating.

 

But are women REALLY better liars? I think that's a stereotype. Some women are great liars but really is this true of all women? I think there are many men who have successfully hidden trails. I think the main bust of a male affair, is that the woman he has cheated with tends at some point to expose the affair (especially when it comes to celebrities) whereas I don't think when women cheat that the male they cheat with would inform the husband. I've never heard of a case where that's happened. I may be wrong.

 

And yes I agree that emotional affairs are cheating.

I'm beginning to wonder if men and women can really fulfil each other needs. We are wired so differently.

[Woggle]

I don't think that women are better liars but they get the benefit of the doubt more. They are innocent until proven guilty while men are guilty until proven innocent.

 

Many women do expose their affairs though because when they tend to cheat they start losing all attraction for their husband or boyfriend and he starts to wonder why.

[Nikki Sahagin]

I don't think that women are better liars but they get the benefit of the doubt more. They are innocent until proven guilty while men are guilty until proven innocent.

 

Many women do expose their affairs though because when they tend to cheat they start losing all attraction for their husband or boyfriend and he starts to wonder why.

 

Agree with both points. Women are definitely 'less expected' shall we say.

[fltc]

I read a recent poll (sorry, can't recall where but if I find it again I'll update this.) Married women were asked, "Would you cheat on your husband if you KNEW you'd never get caught?"

 

70% said "Yes!"

 

I found that pretty surprising.

[Woggle]

It does not surprise me at all and I bet many of them are the same women who get all up in arms over porn which is why I defend it so vehemently. If they want men to stop being so obsessed with porn then women like this should stop being celebrated as some sort of feminist heroes.

[Nikki Sahagin]

It does not surprise me at all and I bet many of them are the same women who get all up in arms over porn which is why I defend it so vehemently. If they want men to stop being so obsessed with porn then women like this should stop being celebrated as some sort of feminist heroes.

 

I wouldn't be too upset by polls though. I always think if I wasn't asked and my opinion hasn't been counted, then neither have a lot of other peoples. Also some people lie; to shock, for attention, maybe they had an argument with their partner. Don't let this set you back Woggle. We still must remember that cheating is a human floor, not specific to either gender.