When a woman is not as engaging in conversation.

[2sure]

If you ask me, people at a cocktail party who are unable or unwilling to participate in cocktail party banter - whether they are interested or not - should be avoided like the plague and never, ever invited anywhere. I mean, its a basic basic social skill...if she cant be engaging and polite for 5 minutes....stop caring and move on. Its nice of you to take the time to speak to her.

[2sure]

Oh, and needed to add: Just because someone can and does participate in this banter does not necessarily indicate interest. Best way to gauge that is to finish the convo and see if she gravitates toward you again.

[D-Jam]

If you ask me, people at a cocktail party who are unable or unwilling to participate in cocktail party banter - whether they are interested or not - should be avoided like the plague and never, ever invited anywhere. I mean, its a basic basic social skill...if she cant be engaging and polite for 5 minutes....stop caring and move on. Its nice of you to take the time to speak to her.

Agreed. We've all seen them at events.

 

They show up with their group, hide in a corner, never talk to anyone else, and dismiss anyone who steps up.

 

Waste of time. Let them complain later why they can't meet anyone to date. The reasons are clearly there.

 

 

 

 

I'll also throw a tip out there for guys...get informed about the world around you. Even the trivial one.

 

Some guys have a problem where they might have deep interests, but they are nothing women want to talk about. That or they won't even try to show their intelligence in said interest...but instead come off as a dork trying to pick up a girl.

 

So let's say you are deep into sci-fi movies, and you meet a girl who doesn't hate on them, but isn't into them...

 

...talk about something else. If you can't think of anything to talk about based on the initial "getting to know you" banter, then you need to turn off the DVD player and find out about the world around you.

 

 

How about if she is into it?

 

Go deep. "So did you get to see the new Iron Man?"

 

"What did you think?"

 

"I don't know, as much as I love explosions and effects, I love it more with a good story. Look how they did an amazing job (in my opinion) on the second Hulk movie. The director told a story that just engaged you and locked you in until the end. It was so believable."

 

Things like that. She MIGHT then want to chat more with you because you come off as intellectual. However, it might not happen. She might just want to talk about what happened this week on 90210 and chase down ex-frat boys in the hopes one will give her the party boy who will commit fantasy.

 

The key point is to make sure you can hold a conversation and talk about a multitude of things. Be informed on things around you. Things that an INTELLIGENT girl might want to talk about.

 

And if she's not going to engage, or won't engage anyone, or is even a 30something that still wants a rock and roll boyfriend...then move on. Don't waste your time.

[dispatch3d]

hey,

 

don't compliment her.

 

What are you aspirations. Do you have a passion etc.

 

All ok questions if your into that phase. Initially I'd either joke about whatever or talk about something that's on my mind. Nothing about her or what she does. Again, that's report seeking and usually very predictable and boring.

 

ugh sorry, meant to say no bland compliments about "Oh I really like your x". Unless you have a SPECIFIC reason you like it, or it's one in a million and you really do feel that way, don't say that. Comes off as supplicating/weird.

[D-Jam]

hey,

 

don't compliment her.

 

What are you aspirations. Do you have a passion etc.

 

All ok questions if your into that phase. Initially I'd either joke about whatever or talk about something that's on my mind. Nothing about her or what she does. Again, that's report seeking and usually very predictable and boring.

 

ugh sorry, meant to say no bland compliments about "Oh I really like your x". Unless you have a SPECIFIC reason you like it, or it's one in a million and you really do feel that way, don't say that. Comes off as supplicating/weird.

 

I agree with you on the specific thing, but I don't see a compliment as a bad thing AS LONG AS you're not kissing her butt.

 

If you're kissing her arse, then you'll lose out, but if you say one small compliment about her sense of style (that is of course if she has a sense of style) you can even get her then to start yacking about the clothing possibly.

 

"Oh I love this dress...I bought it when I went to Milan a month ago."

 

From there you can even go into what Milan was like, etc.

 

Everyone has their own approach. I find a compliment will take very very far...but I will agree it's got to be delivered right. Delivered in a way that you have a sense of taste and you're not just buttering her up.

[EasyHeart]

How about if she is into it?

 

Go deep. "So did you get to see the new Iron Man?"

 

"What did you think?"

 

"I don't know, as much as I love explosions and effects, I love it more with a good story. Look how they did an amazing job (in my opinion) on the second Hulk movie. The director told a story that just engaged you and locked you in until the end. It was so believable."

 

Ummm, yeah, except that if you claim that the second Hulk movie was better than Iron Man 2, she'll know you are a tasteless retard. . .

[robdrm32]

I'd say her not asking questions does not mean she isn't interested.

 

Recent example, I started talking to a girl from class, she hasn't asked me more than 3 questions in the few days i've talked to her, but during an activity for the class she was following me around.

 

And going off her body language, not the questions she asked, like standing close, smiling alot, lots of eye contact etc. I think it's safe to say she's somewhat interested.

 

You have to go off what is going on around you for conversation, especially at a party and don't gauge someone's interest by what they say, go by their actions.