WowReally Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 So a couple I know has been split up for a few months due to infidelity and other marital issues but they've continued MC and IC while apart. They get together once or twice a week to keep things civil and to keep up appearances for friends and family from my honest perspective. At any rate the couple got together the other night and I guess all went well until the BS started machine gunning questions at the H while he was trying to leave. The BS was half in the bag which from what I keep hearing is not unusual when they go out. Needless to say this little spat threw him for a loop and he ended up semi venting to me about how things happened. Part of me feels bad for him because they obviously dont want their marriage to end but at the same time their marriage is sooo dysfunctional Im not sure why anyone would want back into it. Comfort zone? Money? I think yes to both. Im not sure Im looking for opinions/feedback...I guess Im just venting because I know if I were in their shoes Id be as civil as possible and find my way out of that mess.
karnak Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 They'll probably mantain the facade until the woman falls in love with another man. Men are more prone to keep a fake marriage just for confort. Women are less inclined to keep a fake relationship if they have an opportunity (however slim it may be) to have the real thing.
phineas Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 she is still cheating on him. She hasn't locked down the OM yet so she doesn't have a new branch to swing to. Sounds just like my STBXW. She cheated, moved out then wanted to keep everything secret & pretend we were still together. I stupidly agreed to that for a few months because I was so messed up by the situation & I thought she really wanted to come back because she was screwing me silly. She was still cheating. She is now living with OM & I just received a copy of the filed D papers so hopefully it will be done this week.
Author WowReally Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 It's the H that cheats - he's really not wired for long term monogomy at all and yet he wont walk away (believe it or not I do like this guy). Well he semi walked away by moving out but again they still go to MC and IC. One would think after years of lies and various other dyfunctions they'd want to just admit their marriage doesnt work. Why torture yourselves and fight for something that is beyond repair or at least very close to beyond repair? I know it's all about comfort zones and the fear of change but c'mon!
karnak Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Why torture yourselves and fight for something that is beyond repair or at least very close to beyond repair? I know it's all about comfort zones and the fear of change but c'mon! You said it, bro. The woman must have severe emotional issues to accept that kind of behaviour (lack of self-esteem, perverse masochism, etc...). If she ever finds another guy then the roles will be reversed and your male friend will be on his knees.
Author WowReally Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 You said it, bro. The woman must have severe emotional issues to accept that kind of behaviour (lack of self-esteem, perverse masochism, etc...). If she ever finds another guy then the roles will be reversed and your male friend will be on his knees. Well he's got a lot of guilt despite his cheating ways and she definitely has low self esteem...she definitely pulls the strings in the relationship and they say people who "bully" tend to have low self esteem. It's sad.
phineas Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 It's the H that cheats - he's really not wired for long term monogomy at all and yet he wont walk away (believe it or not I do like this guy). Well he semi walked away by moving out but again they still go to MC and IC. One would think after years of lies and various other dyfunctions they'd want to just admit their marriage doesnt work. Why torture yourselves and fight for something that is beyond repair or at least very close to beyond repair? I know it's all about comfort zones and the fear of change but c'mon! Cheating is a choice. The whole "not wired" is just a BS excuse.
Recommended Posts