bboy Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 A quick update on things. 2 Months of NC. It is very apparent that life will continue like this forever. All connections are broken and she moved faaaaaaar away. Dwell I do still dwell from time to time. Weekends, early wake-ups, in the car, the buss. When I get time, the thoughts slip quickly into the past. Still hurts like hell when I do. Most details have been thought about a zillion of times, it's getting a bit tiresome. Then suddenly something new pops up. I hate it. Work, I can work as I should. It's quite demanding. But I get to work in time, do what I should do and perform as I should. This is very important, since it's such a crucial part of life. I'm still very under productive in the mornings, but compensate with working over instead during evenings. Social Life, Quite a change depending on what time of the day it is. Before noon, I'm not social at all. Around 3-4 a clock I get like a social wake up. I can now actually spend a whole evening at a party without wanting to go home. Dating, Sure, I date. Outcome is pathetic. I'm having a very hard time to appreciate the other person. I feel a bit bad for them when I see they do all they can to be nice. I'm nice back, but lack of feelings can't be hidden. Sleep Can fall asleep, can't sleep all night. Morning are the worst. I see myself in third person when I go to work. Food Breakfast is force-feeding. The appetite is extremely low. Lunch normal, dinner normal. Distractions I can see a whole movie and find it entertaining. 100% Joy? Nope, not there yet. The biggest issue now is that I wonder what my ex does and how she's doing. Thoughts like "Never hear again from" and "She never thinks of me" are probably the worst. I hope they'll be gone soon. But I know they are probably there for a lot longer..
xx.Kael.xx Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 I've seen posts similar to mine...but this cuts the cake. I'm exactly where your at now. So what next?
Author bboy Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 I've seen posts similar to mine...but this cuts the cake. I'm exactly where your at now. So what next? Good question. I think the impulse control is working. So I don't do anything foolish. Now it's just a long journey to become normal again. Not looking forward to it, but it's just to start coping with it. Hope for distractions and some sort of entertainment during the road. What do you think?
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