marmaliade Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Today woke up feeling like wanna kill myself. Whole night dreamt about my ex of four years. It's basicly haappening every night. Can't take it anymore. So upset. Dreamt about him and his new girl and me, like i'm trying to make it work. Woke up crying, now in such a misery... Justr can't let go...
tebdan Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Today woke up feeling like wanna kill myself. Whole night dreamt about my ex of four years. It's basicly haappening every night. Can't take it anymore. So upset. Dreamt about him and his new girl and me, like i'm trying to make it work. Woke up crying, now in such a misery... Justr can't let go... That's the thing about dreams. You can't control them. I feel like they invade my mind, during a time when I'm most vulnerable. I've yet to have dreams about my ex with somebody else. Oddly enough, they tend to revolve around the good times we had. Hang in there.
PegNosePete Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 You can control dreams, if you know how. It's called lucid dreaming. Here's some info: http://www.lucidfun.com
xx.Kael.xx Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Hey, its alright...I've had the same about my ex. You wake up in a nightmare. Knowing you can't do **** all about it. Don't kill yourself, please. I wanted to as well, but once you've moved on..it won't matter. Trust me, you WILL feel better. Take your time, & things change faster than you think.
Thierro Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 You have read my other post. I dreamed about her for 3 weeks after the break-up. Every dream was about her saying sorry and that she wants me back. The dream in dream scenarios are the worst; waking up, realising it was a dream and finding her next to you and feeling happy, and before you know it you really wake up and realize it is over. You are going through the first stages of coping. I feel bad for you that you need to go through this. Don't do foolish things. Talk about it with us; thanks for sharing your feelings.
HeavenOrHell Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 I have sad dreams about my ex sometimes, broke up 14 months ago (together 18 years). As sad as they are dreams/nightmares won't kill you, they just make you feel like sh*t! Sometimes with recurring dreams they help me to work through stuff which is going on in my subconscious mind, I'm also lucky enough to be in close contact with my ex still (we both have new partners now) and if something is really bothering me I can talk to him about it.
Author marmaliade Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 You have read my other post. I dreamed about her for 3 weeks after the break-up. You are going through the first stages of coping. I feel bad for you that you need to go through this. Don't do foolish things. Talk about it with us; thanks for sharing your feelings. How come after five months i'm only in stage one? i think those stages are mixing up with me
Author marmaliade Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 They say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. All this will pass with time and critical thinking. Be strong and move forward with faith and courage. Good luck. But sometimes I feel I wanna die. Besides today met his cousin with his friends... He asked how was i, i lied i'm fine and i looked good, so maybe it's a good thing... I dont know
GrayClouds Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 Your mind is simple trying to process letting go. It likely your sub conscience is working extra hard trying to help. If you start working hard consciously it will minimize the dreams. Try writing out your feeling and thought before you go to bed, written fast and hard and keep writing until you can not write any more, do it every night for a few months. It will also help to find a professional to talk it out with good luck.
Billie The Puppet Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 I've noticed that my dreams have increasingly became more realistic, My dreams were always somewhat more abstract in which they constantly changed in environment or storyline etc. Well I have been napping a lot a sign of depression I suppose not going to lie my recent BU has put me into my first real depression feeling ever. She was my first real love not first GF as I have had many but first one I felt like I could settle down with. Like I have said in many threads I have my ups and downs and today just fell into a down day. (A day I would normally be with her and her family) Well during my naps I have been able to fall deep enough into sleep to dream and what do you know I start dreaming about my Ex or about being broken up with my ex. In such an ultra realistic way that I am seeing real places in my dreams that I travel daily. I swear as if I am also living my dream life because everything felt so real, like sense of touch, smell, taste, sight etc from my dreams remained with me right up until the point I woke up. Now today's dreams were not so pleasant because in them we were still broken up or fighting etc. Today I feel like I am honestly falling apart and it is weird because I feel like I am in a cycle and once I thought I was truly indifferent from my situation I am right back to how I felt directly after the BU.
Thierro Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 You have only been apart for 5 months; that’s not very long. Last night I had a dream about my ex. I guess it’s because of this topic. I won’t be surprised if I still dream about her when the years pass. I believe it’s normal. Your dreams will gradually be less though. You will forget the feelings, the smells, the images of the two of you. Your heart will forget in time and will move on. Your wounds are still fresh. Try to figure out what you want in life for yourself. Try to name the positive things in your life. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Author marmaliade Posted September 13, 2010 Author Posted September 13, 2010 Try writing out your feeling and thought before you go to bed, written fast and hard and keep writing until you can not write any more, do it every night for a few months. It will also help to find a professional to talk it out with good luck. Sounds like a really good advice GrayClouds. Thank you
Author marmaliade Posted September 13, 2010 Author Posted September 13, 2010 I swear as if I am also living my dream life because everything felt so real, like sense of touch, smell, taste, sight etc from my dreams remained with me right up until the point I woke up. Now today's dreams were not so pleasant because in them we were still broken up or fighting etc. Today I feel like I am honestly falling apart and it is weird because I feel like I am in a cycle and once I thought I was truly indifferent from my situation I am right back to how I felt directly after the BU. When the feelings are fresh and emotions intense the dreams become very real like, i know what you mean Billie The Puppet Hold on in there, sometimes I feel too like going in those cycles of break up process and it sucks, because you never know what's next :/ Today thought that i'm fine, but the evening came and i'm again in my upset mode. Sucks
Author marmaliade Posted September 13, 2010 Author Posted September 13, 2010 You have only been apart for 5 months; that’s not very long. Last night I had a dream about my ex. I guess it’s because of this topic. I won’t be surprised if I still dream about her when the years pass. I believe it’s normal. Your dreams will gradually be less though. You will forget the feelings, the smells, the images of the two of you. Your heart will forget in time and will move on. Your wounds are still fresh. Try to figure out what you want in life for yourself. Try to name the positive things in your life. Don't be too hard on yourself. Yeah, it maybe five months, but looks like he totally healed and even got himself a new girl, when i'm stuck in this position...
ohno89 Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Yeah, it maybe five months, but looks like he totally healed and even got himself a new girl, when i'm stuck in this position... I'm sorry to hear what you're going through Marmaliade - I'm going through a similar thing with my ex; it's been around 4 months and he's still with the girl he cheated on me with and after weeks and weeks of being fine, I had a real downer yesterday which caused me to dream about him twice and it was AWFUL! Dreams about your ex can really make you wake up feeling totally different and confused towards your ex, like you know it's only a dream but it allows you to be in some weird fantasy world where you're actually speaking to them again and all the crap never happened...it's like a nasty tease into what you had but no longer have... I don't really know how to help you stop dreaming about your ex as dreams and all that stuff is something I've never known about. The idea of writing your thoughts down before bed seems like a good one, to get it all out of your conscious system so you don't dream about it but then you can't really help/even know what's going on in your subconscious mind which also affects dreams. I actually did write all my feelings down before bed last night which is why i thought i ended up dreaming about him... Hang in there, I promise you it'll get better. Just please don't have any thoughts of harming yourself in any way because of some douche. Think about how much this person has already taken away from you; your smile, your happiness...your sleep! Do you really wanna give them the satisfaction of taking even more of yourself away? Your future which they should and will not have any control over? You're 5 months down the line already and you are slowly getting there...just be kind to yourself
cody19 Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I have been having dreams too. Which are a downer for me. I feel like things are normal in between us a lot of the time which makes me feel better, but then I realize they aren't and that's what hurts. So I keep having have dreams where things are normal again and they are awesome. It's not the dreams that suck, but waking up from them. It is really hard for me because we spent so much time together but I haven't seen her since May and she broke up with me at the end of August so it all seems fake as is... l Off topic a bit... but do you think the dumper would ever have dreams like this? My EX says she doesn't miss me anymore and doesn't feel the same.. but she has no reason. I'm wondering if she has sort of made herself beleive these things even though she does still love me. If that were the case do you think the dumper would ever have dreams about the dumpee. I kind of hope so in my case. I think if she had a dream about us being together she would remember how good it felt.
LoveTruthChaos Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I dream in opposites, and my dreams tell me a lot of things. For example, if I dream of people being happy, the opposite is true in real life. If I dream of a crush and I as a couple, it means it will never happen. If I dream of failure, it means real life success. Lately, I've been dreaming of my ex and his new girlfriend being non chalant and comfortable with each other. I have no idea what to make of neutrality...
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