Not a good period

[aeion]

Im sitting here in my new place heartbroken still. Im trying to reconstruct my life piece by painul piece. Like i said in earlier posts, i just got a new place and ive been working out (mostly to pass the time when my days die down). Ive also been dating a little bit. Its been nice knowing that attracting pretty girls hasnt been that difficult, small comfort.

 

But honestly im still really hurt and angry, i know its only been a month and some change since i started NC but im not doin so well right now. Im frusterated because i have every reason to be happy. and yes im trying to focus on that.

 

Im so angry with her, i feel betrayed... and i know i dont want to get back together. I just miss her so damn much. I was left for just a summer hook up, i feel like im worthless. I feel like my love just wasnt good enough and when the going got tough she got going to something less intense.

I was the "nice guy" and im sure thats why she left. And yeah, i learned that lesson. I waited, being her "friend" when she saw i was pulling away (because i was indeed starting to just see her that way) she begged me back to discard me for a total tool 2 weeks later. I was shattered.

 

when she contacted me for the trivial message regarding something i could KEEP (which makes no sense to contact me about something like that), i didnt respond. But it messed me up pretty bad.

 

I dont know. Im just so unable to hold any of this in.

 

I need help.

[Don Ho]

Im so angry with her, i feel betrayed... and i know i dont want to get back together. I just miss her so damn much. I was left for just a summer hook up, i feel like im worthless. I feel like my love just wasnt good enough and when the going got tough she got going to something less intense. I was the "nice guy" and im sure thats why she left. And yeah, i learned that lesson. I waited, being her "friend" when she saw i was pulling away (because i was indeed starting to just see her that way) she begged me back to discard me for a total tool 2 weeks later. I was shattered.

 

Bro, of course you're angry and you feel betrayed. That's normal. I totally understand your anguish and pain. You're not worthless, people hook up with other people. That's the not so nice side of human behavior. That has nothing to do with you and it's no reflection on you. It's ok that you were the nice guy, that might be why she left, it might just be that she's fckd up. If you learned that lesson make sure you keep it in mind for the next one. When you pulled away, she came running. Common. The problem is when you let them come running back too easily, once they get you, then they bail out. You know, people want what they can't have.

 

Bro, I think you're doing better than you think. You have a new place and an opportunity to find and build something better with a new woman at some point. Keep going to the gym. Do an hour of cardio every day. Go out. You might think about hooking up with a woman .... it will be strange and uncomfortable, but it seemed to get my mind off of it for a while. Plus, it never hurts your self confidence to have a woman (or women) that want to be with you. Hang in there, it gets easier as time goes along.

[aeion]

Thanks, its nice to hear (so to speak ) the pep talk from the outside. I just never imagined this is how that relationship would have ended, you know, if it HAD to end.

 

I guess i would have felt a lil better if i knew her new dude was something she was really serious about. Its the fact that it was a fling that was "worth" leaving me for really, really stings.

 

And ive broken up with my fair share of girls, and even when my feelings faded romantically i at least left them with dignity to the point that we were still on good terms even if we didnt want to see each other for awhile.

 

But then, i also didnt break up with them on the PHONE. That was the worst part about it.Even ladies need to grow a pair and break your heart in person, so they can see what they are really doing.

[Username37]

Im so angry with her, i feel betrayed... and i know i dont want to get back together. I just miss her so damn much. I was left for just a summer hook up, i feel like im worthless. I feel like my love just wasnt good enough and when the going got tough she got going to something less intense.

I was the "nice guy" and im sure thats why she left. And yeah, i learned that lesson. I waited, being her "friend" when she saw i was pulling away (because i was indeed starting to just see her that way) she begged me back to discard me for a total tool 2 weeks later. I was shattered.

 

when she contacted me for the trivial message regarding something i could KEEP (which makes no sense to contact me about something like that), i didnt respond. But it messed me up pretty bad.

 

I dont know. Im just so unable to hold any of this in.

 

I need help.

 

I can relate so much, my ex dumped me and had a summer fling too. I felt betrayed and she didn't give a ****. I felt worthless and easily replaceable ya know? But **** them, they have no self worth and respect if they have to resort to hooking up and all of that. She also strung me along and all of that and she wants to be friends (I tried being her friend over the summer and she treated me like garbage.)

 

 

But then, i also didnt break up with them on the PHONE. That was the worst part about it.Even ladies need to grow a pair and break your heart in person, so they can see what they are really doing.

 

My ex dumped me on the phone. ****ing coward

[aeion]

Right!? like WTF, u could at least do someone that service. I could never do that to someone that at one point meant the world to me... i would give them the dignity of doing it in person

[Username37]

Right!? like WTF, u could at least do someone that service. I could never do that to someone that at one point meant the world to me... i would give them the dignity of doing it in person

 

Obviously means they don't give a **** about you and your feelings.

 

The bitch even called me and said "after the breakup, I could think clearly again!"

 

The cunt knew I was down and she told me this?! Kicking someone when they're down....really smooth.

[ShadowBlue]

Dumping you on the phone is just ridiculous. At the very least, you found out exactly who she is before anything more occurred down the line (w/marriage & kids, etc.) happened and it happened when it would have hurt more right?

[aeion]

Yeah, it really shows her character... or lack there of.

 

I guess once school starts up again for me ill feel better, things just seem like time is standing still.

 

i just keep telling myself "youre still alive, it happened and your still alive"

 

sigh

[Username37]

Yeah, it really shows her character... or lack there of.

 

I guess once school starts up again for me ill feel better, things just seem like time is standing still.

 

i just keep telling myself "youre still alive, it happened and your still alive"

 

sigh

 

Do you go to school with your ex?

[aeion]

yes, and even worse i know we are in a class together. And its not one of those 300 person college classes either its like 25 ppl.

 

and i cant change classes since its required for our major

[Username37]

yes, and even worse i know we are in a class together. And its not one of those 300 person college classes either its like 25 ppl.

 

and i cant change classes since its required for our major

 

**** man.

 

My advice. Go NC and if you can't be civil to her.

[aeion]

I feel like the fact that im going to see her is making it more difficult to get her out of my mind.

 

I hate anticipation it just makes my anxiety over this crap worse. I hate this so much. these last few days have been getting increasingly more difficult despite my attempts to normalize my life. I have to constantly keep myself from breaking down every two seconds to the point that im not getting good nights sleep anymore (for awhile being in a new place really helped since she wasnt tied to anything here). Im getting exhausted of acting like im ok so my friends dont have to worry. They seem tired of talking about it... and i cant blame them (i dont want this to be an issue anymore either). This is so hard though

 

I dont know what stage this is... sometimes im pissed but sometimes im really depressed... and then there are rare moments when she isnt on my mind which just makes the returning pain worse.

 

Im really trying to be ok. Knowing that im going to see her is too much right now. I just wish i could disappear

[aeion]

pls, any advice would be great

[Don Ho]

pls, any advice would be great

 

As difficult as this is, you will be fine. You may find that seeing her might not be as bad as you think. I don't know if you have checked into this, but maybe you should talk to your Dr. about some anti-depressants and/or anti-axiety Rx like Xanax. It sounds like your emotions are too much for you and some meds might help you through this period.

[w.e.]

As difficult as this is, you will be fine. You may find that seeing her might not be as bad as you think. I don't know if you have checked into this, but maybe you should talk to your Dr. about some anti-depressants and/or anti-axiety Rx like Xanax. It sounds like your emotions are too much for you and some meds might help you through this period.

 

Don, I think you usually have great advice outside of the fact that you recommend psychiatric drugs quite often. Xanax is a poor relationship in itself. As for anti-depressants, man...you don't take drugs to get through hard times in life. If you've got a psych disorder that existed prior to your rough times, that would be an appropriate means of coping. Outside of that, functioning individuals with no pre-existing medical conditions should not be taking drugs to deal with their problems.

 

If you do go to a doctor, make sure it's a psychiatrist. Doctors hand this stuff out like candy, even when it's clearly not necessary. At least the psychiatrist will be able to properly diagnose you or write you off as a drug seeker (most of the time).

 

My advice is to seek natural means of coping. Read positive things, distract yourself from your troubles, talk to a counselor, exercise etc.

 

Listen, xanax will make you not care, ya...about anything. It is a highly addictive drug. It annihilates your memory, causes drowsiness, lightheadedness, depression, and more. I have a serious problem with even recommending xanax to someone who is having trouble with a break up.

[whatadeer26]

I don't know your school schedule, but are you sure you can't switch the class? Is it a prereq. for something else or only offered one semester?

[Don Ho]

Don, I think you usually have great advice outside of the fact that you recommend psychiatric drugs quite often. Xanax is a poor relationship in itself. As for anti-depressants, man...you don't take drugs to get through hard times in life. If you've got a psych disorder that existed prior to your rough times, that would be an appropriate means of coping. Outside of that, functioning individuals with no pre-existing medical conditions should not be taking drugs to deal with their problems.

If you do go to a doctor, make sure it's a psychiatrist. Doctors hand this stuff out like candy, even when it's clearly not necessary. At least the psychiatrist will be able to properly diagnose you or write you off as a drug seeker (most of the time). Listen, xanax will make you not care, ya...about anything. It is a highly addictive drug. It annihilates your memory, causes drowsiness, lightheadedness, depression, and more. I have a serious problem with even recommending xanax to someone who is having trouble with a break up.

 

W.E., I have suggested it I think twice. I am not a Doctor nor therapist. Some members seems to be extremely emotional, I just offered that suggestion that they check into it because it may be helpful to someone that cannot cope with daily life and are not functioning well. In that case, they may want to consider seeing a psychiatrist. I do agree that Xanax can have all those side effects you mentioned. I was thinking of anti-anxiety, maybe Xanax was not a good suggestion. Anyway, it's just an idea for a very few select group of people that are having an unusually difficult time. I agree that they should be exercising, spending time with friends and family, staying busy, counseling, working on themselves, reading, improving their appearance, volunteering and trying other means to cope.

[aeion]

drugs arent necessary but i have considered that there may be something off.

 

To Whatadeer: naw there is no way out of it w/o risking graduation

[aeion]

Update:

 

It finally happened, she blocked me from facebook. Dont get me wrong, I didnt harrass her, or even attempted to contact her since the break up.

 

Today i was going to reply to a friends message, and she was on the list of recipients. I noticed her name wasnt underscored..."ah"

 

Tried to search her name just to see... nothing. I got it. Blocked.

 

Yeah yeah yeah, i shouldnt have even been checking up on her but i honesly i didnt intend for that. My curiousity did get the better of me after seeing her name i admit.

 

Anywho, it stung so i called a mutual friend to see what the deal was (like i said curiousity got the better of me AGAIN) friend told me she "did it for her" apparently she's been checking up on my facebook everyday since we split and when i didnt reply to her bs message it really screwed her up. Interesting, seeing as SHE dumped ME for ANOTHER DUDE.

 

i have my suspicions though, it just so happened she did that after a friend of mine (a girl, who the ex was kind of worried about me being involved with, shes hot but im not trying to go there)left a joke status on my fb after i accidentily left it signed in, saying how amazing i thought she was.

 

idk, im not hoping for anything i just needed to get that out o my system, since I am still hurting from the break up. as petty as this situation is...

[Don Ho]

I think FB and MS can create a lot of problems for the Dumpee and possibly both parties. I think if you're the Dumpee it's smart just to block them so you're not tempted to look at their info and get yourself upset about what you see. It also just leads to misinterpretation and leaves the Dumpee guessing, analyzing and wondering even more. In this case I think "ignorance is bliss".

[aeion]

for sure, but its just funny that ive actually been really good about not checking on her fb. and IM the dumpee

[ouch1121]

It's been a week since we broke up and I didn't look at his FB all week until last night. Don't know why I did it but I did and he added two new friends. One being the current girl he is seeing, the other her best friend who posted a picture from last week, the day we broke up, where he lied and said he was going to the race tracks with his brother. Upon further examination of the picture, he was at the Padres game with her and her best friend and brother but his arms were around the girl. We argued that day before he went because I was hurt he didn't include me. Obviously I know why now but we never said it was through but that's obvious because he hasn't called me since then. I was trying to be strong and accept it was over but when I saw that picture on FB I couldn't breathe. I couldn't sleep all night, I couldn't go to work today. I keep staring at the picture. FB can be very informative but very hurtful. I know I should block him now but I haven't been able to. I'm really surprised he hasn't blocked me. Maybe he wanted me to see that picture and know we're done, I don't know...

[Don Ho]

Block him right now Sista!! Log in. Block his ass. NOW! See the torment you put yourself through?

[ShannonMI]

It's been a week since we broke up and I didn't look at his FB all week until last night. Don't know why I did it but I did and he added two new friends. One being the current girl he is seeing, the other her best friend who posted a picture from last week, the day we broke up, where he lied and said he was going to the race tracks with his brother. Upon further examination of the picture, he was at the Padres game with her and her best friend and brother but his arms were around the girl. We argued that day before he went because I was hurt he didn't include me. Obviously I know why now but we never said it was through but that's obvious because he hasn't called me since then. I was trying to be strong and accept it was over but when I saw that picture on FB I couldn't breathe. I couldn't sleep all night, I couldn't go to work today. I keep staring at the picture. FB can be very informative but very hurtful. I know I should block him now but I haven't been able to. I'm really surprised he hasn't blocked me. Maybe he wanted me to see that picture and know we're done, I don't know...

FaceBook is the devil. I've said it many times and I truly believe that. I have read so many threads and posts on this site about the harmful affects of FB and it's just awful. Ouch, stop looking at that picture. It's not doing you any good. Please block him or better yet, just delete/deactivate your FB account. And your ex still hasn't said anything to you about it being over? This is ridiculous. What a coward and a piece of sh*t he is. He could at least have the DECENCY to tell you it's over instead of just not contacting you. What, is he hoping you just take a hint? Is he hoping the whole thing will just go away? What an a**hole. I'm sure you know this by now, but you are soooooo much better off without this cowardly, lying, cheating bastard. I feel for you. It hurts like hell, I know. Please just stop looking at that picture and go to work tomorrow even if you don't want to. You have to get out of the house and continue on even though it's so damn hard right now. Don't let this jerk ruin you. He's not worth it. We are all here for you:)

[skydiveaddict]

I don't think I could add anything to that