Not sure what he wants . . . if anything?!

[unsure10]

Hi everyone I have just signed up on here as I really need some outside opinions on my situation. Basically, I started work at my new job 6 months ago. 3 months ago I left my husband as he has a personality/mood disorder and I had finally had enough. My boss (he is a dentist and I am his nurse) started to be extra nice after hearing that i had left my husband (asking how I was, staring into my eyes, generally chatting more etc). So, I was upset about my split and developed a crush and in a moment of madness gave my boss a little note saying that I was attracted to him and did he fee the same!! Crazy bevaviour I know but he kept staring into my eyes for so long that I was actually blushing and I wanted to know if I was imagining it or not. My boss is married (has been 20 years and never talks about her ever, everyone at work say she is a drunk and that they are not happy at all. He has 2 kids over the age of 16 and he is 45 (I am 29).

 

Anyway the next day he comes in and says that he is ''flattered'', thinks I am a ''really pretty, very attractive girl'' but that he is ''happily married'' and that he ''wouldn't want to spoil our working relationship'' either. He then said that I didn't need to worry as he hadn't told anyone else about it. So, I felt cheap and ashamed but accepted it and carried on as though nothing had ever been said hoping he would too so that I wouldn't feel awkward and have to leave my job.

 

However, since that day things have changed!! A new young dentist started work there an made it clear to all that he wanted me and my boss started to get jealous (following us to the shop, buying my lunch etc). Then, he started to ask me more and more personal things about my marriage ending and confiding in me about the problems with his teenage son. He still stares into my eyes whenever I speak to him and he leaves patients waiting as he is so engrossed in our conversations (never used to chat much at all just smalltalk before my note).

 

He also seems to be trying to tell me something as he says things like ''after 20 years both people in a marriage can be at fault but its having the guts to do something about it if you aren't happy'' and other hidden meanings in conversations where he refers to other people but they are also appropriate to our situation for example ''She was brave leaving her husband when they had so many financial ties together and with him being an alcoholic''. Then 3 weeks after my note he gave me a big payrise and told me that he had given me more than everyone else as I have to work with him all day?!

 

This week I had had threats from my ex and he said ''if there is anything I can do to help, just say te word, I know there probably isn't but the offer is there'' he normally doesn't get involved in personal problems of his staff!! Then he offered to take me to and from work in his car as he lives not far from me. I agreed as was scared to drive to work alone. Coming home after work he kept turning and looking into my eyes and smiling as he was driving and he was talking to me about my ex. I said that ''you are lucky if you are happy'' meaning him and his wife and he said ''well smost of the time, we have ups and downs thats the trouble when you marry young, and its difficult with the stress of the kids''. I couldn't believe he said that as he is VERY private and after saying he was happily married I was shocked that he is sort off backtracking now. I left him and said thanks but now I am very unsure as I really don't know if he likes me or if he just feels sorry for me with my situation?? Please help . . .

[Woman In Blue]

It's all about his ego. He was loving the puppy dog eyes you were giving him and how you hung onto his every word. Then you gave him the ultimate ego stroke by writing him a note telling him you have a crush on him (I feel like we're back in high school). His ego is loving that some young thing has a crush on him.

 

Naturally, when your attention was diverted by the new younger dentist, his ego took a blow, so now he's doing his very best to get your attention again.

 

Why would you waste your time on a middle-aged married man? You're only 29 and have your whole life ahead of you. Why would you willingly walk into that kind of trainwreck?

[unsure10]

Thanks woman in blue, yeah I know that I have boosted his ego as he is like a different person since I told him how I feel. He struts around with a big smile on his face and sings along to the radio etc. Trouble is I am not sure if he is after a cheap fling (not an option from me), if he is seriously considering leaving his wife as he seems to be hinting at or if he is just flirting?

 

Despite the obvious problems - marriage, kids, working together, age difference - I have fallen for him in a big way. I really am shocked at my feelings and he seems to be to. We are both very nervous around each other and it isn't as though we can ignore one another as we work day in day out in one tiny room together. Do you think we are heading for an affair if I stay?

 

I did offer him a way out a few days after giving him the note when I said to him '' if you feel awkward now I could leave to work somewhere else (and I meant it). He replied ''I thought we were getting along great, that's the last thing I want''.

Edited September 11, 2010 by unsure10

[Golon]

I think you are heading for an affair.

 

It reads very familiar to me.....me and my MM too started to have lots of chats and I can totally relate to the signs....how you look at each other. I also suspect other contact has taken place too....like he has possibly held your hand when you have been talking about personal matters or even that he has stroked your arm in work or stood very close to you when talking to you.....all signs of attraction.

 

My advice is totally hypercritical.....but I am in a relationship with a MM and I love him very much but if I'd known at the start the pain this relationship would bring me I'd of handled it differently.

 

Change jobs. If he wants you then he will keep in touch with you...the benefit here is that if a relationship does occur and go wrong then you are not at work together. It also gives you space. How can you have any head space stuck working in such an enclosed environment with a man you are obviously so attracted to? I can see great harm to your self esteem and emotional wellbeing if this does turn into an affair as it will make work so hard for you.

 

I dream daily of the life I "could have" rather than the life I've got. I gaze over at couples holding hands and being so publicly affectionate. I crave weekends away, walks around the park. I get none of it. You will also miss such things. If he really wants you after you change jobs he'll keep in touch. He may even leave his wife for you....but if you stick around he will take you for granted. I hope this advice helps. I realise I am a total hypercrite and don't listen....but I'm trying to save you heartache.

[unsure10]

Thankyou Golon for the advice . . . it sounds as though you know what you are talking about. I know that I should leave . . . my head tells me to as I know that something will have to give one way or another and if we have an affair nothing good can come of that in the workplace so I know I should get out now. The thought of leaving upsets me as I look forward to going to work each day just to see him and have that contact . . . but I know that this can only lead to heartache.

 

He does touch my hand when I pass him things and he stands so close sometimes that we are almost touching. I hate the thought of being the other woman and yet already the idea of there being something between us is enough to make me feel excited and as though I have a purpose. Maybe you can relate to this? I could easily get another job within the next couple of weeks as plenty around but if I do that I am ending whatever has started as I am sure that if I got away from that environment I would see it for how it really is . . . and not this fairytale in the makng that I am imagining already. Think I will start job hunting asap . . .

Edited September 11, 2010 by unsure10

[unspokenwords]

in a moment of madness gave my boss a little note saying that I was attracted to him and did he fee the same!! Crazy bevaviour I know but he kept staring into my eyes for so long that I was actually blushing and I wanted to know if I was imagining it or not. My boss is married (has been 20 years and never talks about her ever, everyone at work say she is a drunk and that they are not happy at all. He has 2 kids over the age of 16 and he is 45 (I am 29).

 

Anyway the next day he comes in and says that he is ''flattered'', thinks I am a ''really pretty, very attractive girl'' but that he is ''happily married'' and that he ''wouldn't want to spoil our working relationship'' either. He then said that I didn't need to worry as he hadn't told anyone else about it. So, I felt cheap and ashamed but accepted it and carried on as though nothing had ever been said hoping he would too so that I wouldn't feel awkward and have to leave my job.

 

Really feel for you. Definitely a man with an ego and some. I had my own 'moment of madness' with my H's friend who did all those surreptitious advances without openly admitting it. Similar story - I was totally hooked - emotionally totally invested in him. I challenged - he denied - but he assured he hadn't and wouldn't tell. He kept behaving strangely too - to me and my H.

 

The story is all out now - he denied to everyone - angry with me and my H for making it public. All got very horrid and upsetting. But all the feelings you mention I totally understand. Mine's a long story full of twists and turns - too much to put here.

 

Changing job is a good option - whatever you decide to do - tread carefully - it could be wonderful but it could also be a real disaster waiting to happen.... I hope that he chooses to be really honest with you but perhaps he is weak and not brave enough - he wouldn't be unusual in that.

 

I hope it turns out good for you...

[unsure10]

Thanks unspokenwords . . . yeah my gut feeling is that he does want me and that his marriage has been dead a long time now but I am not sure he is prepared to give up the material side of things nor his 'image' of the happily married man with a respectable career . . . because to be fair to him he would have a LOT to lose whereas I on the other hand have nothing to lose now other than my job and perhaps my 'good name'.

 

Really think I just need to get out of this situation as my feelings are growing stronger each day . . . do some men just leave a marriage do you think to be with someone they hardly know? I haven't ever heard of any, just lots of stories of hurt wives and disillusioned mistresses.

 

I hope all works out for you . . . sounds as though you could have done with hearing this advice from someone before you went down the road of no return too. Just hope I have the strength to go and not look back . . . because I have a strange feeling that he will not be happy about my leaving . . . not after he has made such an effort to keep me sweet (the payrise etc).

[BB07]

He IS your boss and you are playing with fire that can burn you like you've never been burnt before. You don't see this yet, but you are getting yourself into a very bad situation that will only end badly for you. Something like this can follow you around for a long time and ruin your reputation. It's about ego's, yours and his. Both of you are loving the attention and the strokes you are getting from each other. It's not about love.

I hope you wake up and see the situation for what it really is and just how dangerous it is. Please walk away from it, go find yourself a job somewhere else. Save yourself the heartache, because that is what you will get if you continue on this path.

[jj33]

Your question is what does he want? More to the point what do YOU want? No people dont leave a marriage for someone they hardly know unless its an exit affair and most exit affairs dont last (there goes your job then...)

 

Without being harsh you made a HUGE mistake by giving your married boss that note. What exactly did you expect to happen when you did that? Were you looking for an affair?

 

He is your boss. He is married. Whether he ever gets the guts or not is an open question but you just left a marriage. How would you have felt if someone had given your H that note (before you decided to divorce?)

 

I think you need to apologize to your boss for crossing a line, blame it on the stress of the divorce and the issues with your H.

 

Do not date the other dentist either. Hes your boss. What happens when it ends?

 

Is it OK with you to go after someone else's H? You did initiate this so you may be of the camp that says its his M if hes ok with it, thats not my problem. If you feel that way you would be in the minority but Im not here to judge.

 

If those arent your boundaries, then go to IC. Get some help in establishing firmer boundaries.

 

It must be very stressful going through the divorce and having issues with your ex. No shame in getting some help.

 

Take good care

Edited September 11, 2010 by jj33

[unsure10]

I take full responsibility for giving him the note and I gave him it hoping that he would want to take things further, yes. After being married, and miserable I am now well aware that it is possible to be married and to be desperately miserable and alone. My boss gives all of these signs but never says anything bad about his wife. I would not dream of having an affair with a happily married man . . . but happily married men don't act that way. I would have been very hurt if another woman had given my husband a note but I wouldn't have been that surprised if we had been very miserable for half of our marriage and argued every day. I do not agree with adultery nor do I agree with remaining in an unhappy marriage.

 

If my boss were to say he wanted a relationship (not a sordid affair) then I would change job and continue to see him. I can't apologise to my boss for giving him the note as I am not sorry for telling him the truth about how I feel. He obviously isn't upset by it as he has since bought me lunch, given me a payrise and has started to confide in me more. How can I say sorry a month after the event? I have no intention of dating the other dentist and have not lead him on at all. I left my husband because he was abusive . . . and believe it or not I only started to develop feelings for my boss 3-4 weeks after leaving my husband.

 

I have already decided to leave my job as I think my boss probably just wants an affair to help him deal with being middle aged . . . I however am not in the game of splitting a happy home . . . but would not turn away happiness simply because someone hasn't yet done what they should have done a long time ago.

[2sunny]

Please help . . .

 

help yourself by not continuing further with him.

 

stop sharing your personal life. you are there for business - so stop it.

 

unless you want a twisted bundled of trouble...

 

 

sharing your personal stuff with him is inappropriate at best - that is NONE of his business and you are using it to your advantage to try to make a move on a MM - and you got more money - that is manipulative at best. yes, he feels sorry for you (who wouldn't? - especially IF he might have a chance of sleeping with you). keep your private thoughts and feelings and words to yourself - and stop staring into his eyes - THAT behavior is for his WIFE!

 

find a new job... one that you don't expose all your personal stuff to - go there to do the work. work only. that is what you get paid to do no matter what. just do the work and keep quiet. stop engaging in totally inappropriate behavior - a lot of people will get hurt if you continue to move forward just the way it is.

[2sunny]

I take full responsibility for giving him the note and I gave him it hoping that he would want to take things further, yes. After being married, and miserable I am now well aware that it is possible to be married and to be desperately miserable and alone. My boss gives all of these signs but never says anything bad about his wife. I would not dream of having an affair with a happily married man . . . but happily married men don't act that way. I would have been very hurt if another woman had given my husband a note but I wouldn't have been that surprised if we had been very miserable for half of our marriage and argued every day. I do not agree with adultery nor do I agree with remaining in an unhappy marriage.

 

you are twisting this up in your mind to justify an affair with a MM. he has stated he's not leaving his W.

 

i agree - leave the job. YOU are at risk for messing with a lot of people's lives - and not with a happy ending.

 

and yes. you would dream of having an affair with a MM - you already have shown evidence of that - so stop lying to yourself.

 

what HE has in his M is none of your business. stay out of it. stop the personal talk with him. that should be saved for his wife. YOU are participating in an inappropriate manner and YOU know it.

[jj33]

I take full responsibility for giving him the note and I gave him it hoping that he would want to take things further, yes. After being married, and miserable I am now well aware that it is possible to be married and to be desperately miserable and alone. My boss gives all of these signs but never says anything bad about his wife. I would not dream of having an affair with a happily married man . . . but happily married men don't act that way.

 

Sure you would you initiated this. Lots of happily married men have crushes on the women around them. The question is do they act on it. This one didnt and immediately told you he was happily married.

 

Its not for you to decide that he isnt and that you know better. You are as 2sunny said justifying and rationalizing. And as a former OW I can say you are doing this to your own detriment.

 

I would have been very hurt if another woman had given my husband a note but I wouldn't have been that surprised if we had been very miserable for half of our marriage and argued every day. I do not agree with adultery nor do I agree with remaining in an unhappy marriage.

 

You dont seem to see it but you are playing God here (or psyhic take your pick). You are saying if he was beaming when he spoke of his W you wouldnt have done anything but since he shows signs of unhappiness you are See above lots of men have crushes it doesnt mean their marriage is dead.

 

 

If my boss were to say he wanted a relationship (not a sordid affair) then I would change job and continue to see him.

 

 

If hes married and plans to go home every night, then it would be a "sordid affair" depending on what that term means to you. Please tell me you werent honestly expecting him to leave for someone he hardly knows? See my last post. What is most likely is sex in the office after hours or a hotel or your place.

 

I can't apologise to my boss for giving him the note as I am not sorry for telling him the truth about how I feel.

 

Fair enough

 

He obviously isn't upset by it as he has since bought me lunch, given me a payrise and has started to confide in me more. How can I say sorry a month after the event? I have no intention of dating the other dentist and have not lead him on at all. I left my husband because he was abusive . . . and believe it or not I only started to develop feelings for my boss 3-4 weeks after leaving my husband.

 

I have already decided to leave my job as I think my boss probably just wants an affair to help him deal with being middle aged . . . I however am not in the game of splitting a happy home . . . but would not turn away happiness simply because someone hasn't yet done what they should have done a long time ago.

 

 

Thats fair enough. But watch yourself. YOU inititated this with the note. You were IMHO predatory because you sensed that he was unhappy. If thats OK in your world thats fine but OWN your behavior.

 

You really need to look at what you have written its not consistent. Everyones values are their own but you are playing with other peoples lives as well as your own in a way that is almost certain to end in tears for you.

 

I hope it works out for you and that you arent posting in 6 moonths that you got involved, he says he cant leave unless and until and you are hurting.... I hate to say it, but that would be par for the course.

[unsure10]

2sunny, he hasn't stated that he won't leave his wife that's why I posted this thread in the first place. He told me the day after I gave him the note that he is ''happily married'' but has since said that he is not so happy and is mentioning how ''brave'' people are for leaving their husbands/wives on a daily basis.

 

Why do you think I dare to give my married boss a note in the first place? He obviously gave me enough encouragement to dare to do it otherwise I wouldn't have risked my job and being rejected.

 

I am not kidding myself . . . I know women who go for men simply because they are married and who just love a challenge. I have simply fallen for a man who is already married. I don't want to be branded a homewrecker but the heart is easier to hear than the head. Wish I didn't feel this way as my life is complicated enough at the moment with my crazy ex threatening to murder me.

[2sunny]

what you write and what you say isn't in alignment with what you say you believe.

 

look at your actions - they tell everything.

 

your actions say that you are willing to step into his life - and allow him into your personal life.

 

YOU allow it.

 

IF this is not what you believe in - as far as your value system - then why are you DOING things that go against what you believe?

 

think about it - then start DOING what it is you believe in - instead of totally contradicting yourself at every turn by your words and actions.

[2sunny]

2sunny, he hasn't stated that he won't leave his wife that's why I posted this thread in the first place. He told me the day after I gave him the note that he is ''happily married'' but has since said that he is not so happy and is mentioning how ''brave'' people are for leaving their husbands/wives on a daily basis.

 

Why do you think I dare to give my married boss a note in the first place? He obviously gave me enough encouragement to dare to do it otherwise I wouldn't have risked my job and being rejected.

 

I am not kidding myself . . . I know women who go for men simply because they are married and who just love a challenge. I have simply fallen for a man who is already married. I don't want to be branded a homewrecker but the heart is easier to hear than the head. Wish I didn't feel this way as my life is complicated enough at the moment with my crazy ex threatening to murder me.

 

i read all that - so why are you ignoring my suggestions by justifying YOUR bad behavior and the way YOU are choosing to participate?

 

stop participating - THAT solves all these problems with this.

[BB07]

unsure said......

I take full responsibility for giving him the note and I gave him it hoping that he would want to take things further, yes. After being married, and miserable I am now well aware that it is possible to be married and to be desperately miserable and alone. My boss gives all of these signs but never says anything bad about his wife. I would not dream of having an affair with a happily married man . . . but happily married men don't act that way. I would have been very hurt if another woman had given my husband a note but I wouldn't have been that surprised if we had been very miserable for half of our marriage and argued every day. I do not agree with adultery nor do I agree with remaining in an unhappy marriage.

 

I call BS on what you are saying, you are talking out of both sides of your mouth. Another thing, you have NO idea if he has a bad marriage or not, maybe he is having a bad month, or hell year, but you don't know squat about his marriage. You last sentence above........read it again, put into practice for yourself. Don't have an affair and if he is unhappy then he should leave his marriage with no interference from you. Obviously you are hurting and in pain from your own divorce, but don't go ruining your life or his by getting your ego stroked here AT WORK. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

 

I don't often say this or even think it, but what you are doing is clearly trying to seduce your married boss to get your own need met. Yuck! At least own it, as JJ said.

If you were in a abusive marriage you have self esteem issues, attend some IC and get them addressed, don't go down this road. You will regret it.

If my boss were to say he wanted a relationship (not a sordid affair) then I would change job and continue to see him. I can't apologise to my boss for giving him the note as I am not sorry for telling him the truth about how I feel. He obviously isn't upset by it as he has since bought me lunch, given me a payrise and has started to confide in me more. How can I say sorry a month after the event? I have no intention of dating the other dentist and have not lead him on at all. I left my husband because he was abusive . . . and believe it or not I only started to develop feelings for my boss 3-4 weeks after leaving my husband.

 

I have already decided to leave my job as I think my boss probably just wants an affair to help him deal with being middle aged . . . I however am not in the game of splitting a happy home . . . but would not turn away happiness simply because someone hasn't yet done what they should have done a long time ago.

[2sunny]

Not sure what he wants . . . if anything?!

 

even this = you are fooling yourself. you know what he wants. are YOU going to be that gal that gives it to him? seems like it from the way you have been participating...

 

 

IF you don't intend to be THAT gal - YOU must change everything. it is up to you - what are you going to do about it?

[unsure10]

I am not going down this road . . . seriously. I have been kidding myself that I can handle this or whatever, but I don't need this sort of hassle in my life. I am going to give 2 weeks notice on Monday and go to work elsewhere as there are plenty of jobs around. If I stay I know I will end up being his mistress . . . and that is just like waiting around to be tortured slowly. Think I will get out now with a glowing reference haha.

[BB07]

I am not going down this road . . . seriously. I have been kidding myself that I can handle this or whatever, but I don't need this sort of hassle in my life. I am going to give 2 weeks notice on Monday and go to work elsewhere as there are plenty of jobs around. If I stay I know I will end up being his mistress . . . and that is just like waiting around to be tortured slowly. Think I will get out now with a glowing reference haha.

 

 

I so hope you do this (get out from there), please, please do this. And yeaaaa for accepting the truth and admitting that if you stay you will be the mistress. I'm proud of you, now make me prouder and keep posting and tell us how you put that notice in and how you get a new job.......OK?

 

You deserve better than being some old coots mistress.

[KarmasTestDummy]

I am not going down this road . . . seriously. I have been kidding myself that I can handle this or whatever, but I don't need this sort of hassle in my life. I am going to give 2 weeks notice on Monday and go to work elsewhere as there are plenty of jobs around. If I stay I know I will end up being his mistress . . . and that is just like waiting around to be tortured slowly. Think I will get out now with a glowing reference haha.

 

This is the happiest news I've heard in a week. I so hope you mean it. With that being said...thing through his reaction so you can prepare yourself. Don't be naive to think he'll just say okay and hand over a glowing letter of recommendation. He will push back. He has already and will say again that he does not want you to leave. He may even go as far as to beg you to stay and ask what it will take, perhaps even offer u more money. If that is the case, see it for what it is...a man trying to buy you for his own selfish reasons. He won't see it coming and he won't like his built up fantasy being turned upside down unexpectedly...but remember all he offers, I can assure you he won't be offering you a divorce from his wife and a relationship. Keep your head on straight. Prepare to counteract that its not him or the office but that you have so much going on personally and you are doing it for you, for a change of environment. Tell him you plan on moving out of state even if that is feasible. Good luck sweets. We dished out some tough love today, but it's not personal. I'm sure everyone of us sees a little of ourselves in you and wishing we had the choice to do over. This is your chance.

[2sunny]

I am not going down this road . . . seriously. I have been kidding myself that I can handle this or whatever, but I don't need this sort of hassle in my life. I am going to give 2 weeks notice on Monday and go to work elsewhere as there are plenty of jobs around. If I stay I know I will end up being his mistress . . . and that is just like waiting around to be tortured slowly. Think I will get out now with a glowing reference haha.

 

that's a great plan. find another job first, then give your notice. be clear not to engage your boss in any long gazes or personal conversation in the meantime. be prepared to have him beg you to stay - be clear on the plan to leave so you're not left hanging with no income.

[Golon]

I am crying as I read this. I wish I had the guts to walk away at the start. The pain of an affair is much worse further down the road. I can see you have fallen for this guy and I am very worried about you. Please save yourself the pain. You want to meet someone who is always there for you after your divorce you deserve better

[Pink_orchid]

You sound like a decent person and I understand your inner conflict unlike others who dismiss it, as I have been there myself, and I truly did feel bad about being fond of and attracted to someone married, I just fell for someone great who happened to be already married (who made the choice to pursue me) like you, you're only responding to the way he is towards you (and it's easy done when there's that big spark, wrong or right).

 

I am in 'no contact' now with mine, well, the odd brief comment online, we both have a big common interest - that's how we met - which has a website we are both in. It's actually still very hard not to talk to him, but I wanted a proper 1-1 relationship and to be together not to be any sort of other woman. It was terribly painful to extract myself as I am sure it will be for you, but if there is any chance of your situation leading to anything like a proper relationship which I think is what you want, you don't want to be the 'other woman' do you, you have to pull back and see what he does. If it's genuine he'll come after you.

 

Perhaps you might realise after some space (getting a new job etc and having time apart and new people around you) that it was just infatuation/a crush and you could meet someone single and your own age? You might just look back on him as a nice former boss who you had a bit of a thing for and him for you. There's your professional reputation to consider too; if you end up staying there, having an affair while he's still married, which no doubt would end badly, you'd lose your excellent reference for your CV, so get out now would be my advice.

 

Tell him to contact you only if he's single and he's interested in taking things further (that's if you're still into him at a later point, my crystal ball tells me you won't be LOL). Having sex with him as the situation is now would be so easy but it will just destroy you when he backtracks... the sexual tension which I felt with mine was overpowering but once things happened it was kind of hell, for us both.

[Golon]

Hi,

 

I think if I tell you a bit about my world it may help you.

 

I met my MM at work too.....I like you was separated from my husband. The MM at first was a close friend and then it developed.

 

The first month to two months I was happy and believed fully that he would leave his W for me. As time has gone on all that has happened is more and more hurt. I am now in the awful situation where I feel something will shortly give/snap in either me or him and the end will be rough.

 

Today I have spent a good few hours crying as I had hoped to see him today but his W needs him so once again I am alone on a Sunday. I have just nipped out to the shops to get my meal for one and passed couples shopping for a lovely evening meal....overheard a discussion about a recent holiday a couple have made together. I go out of the shops to the car....what do I see? You guessed it....another couple walking hand in hand heading to a bar together for a lazy Sunday of drinking and sitting in the sun. I feel tired and lonely.

 

All I am trying to do is portray the reality. I have been told how much I am loved time and time again....but this is the reality. Right now I see you as someone who is not yet too "far gone" and has not crossed the line. Try to protect yourself from pain. I know that I am possibly coming across as two-faced.....advising you to get out and not getting out myself....this is because I've got myself into such an emotional mess. My friends are shocked at the change in me....I have lost confidence and am down all the time. I know something will happen soon......no doubt me being finished with for being "unreasonable" or something like that. Please save yourself from the heartache.