What do you think of chronically single people?

[bob_333]

I needed some serious down time. But this suddenly turned into, 'I don't think you love me the way I love you,' nonsense.

 

I guess when a person doesn't feel a need for personal space, they just don't understand it when someone not only wants it, but REQUIRES it.

 

I'm sorry about your break-up, though. No matter what the reasons it ended, I know it still hurts like crazy.

 

If I'm stressed at work and over worked - I need that time to myself, a demanding partner can be such a drain when your trying just to unwind, they nag you and say you dont love them - which is far from the truth, so instead of unwinding - your stressed again, you really care what they think you think, I just cant seem to win.

My ex pushed and pushed (or should I say pulled) - and I guess I just started to move in the opposite direction, just to get that space, and they saw at as me not loving them enough and so wanted out, looking back maybe I should have made a sacrifice of my space, or maybe if I had I would have gone nuts, maybe it all would have worked out ok, I just dont know as she never gave us a chance.

Yes it hurts like crazy she has just gone ... I really miss her.

Edited September 17, 2010 by bob_333

[Nikki Sahagin]

no I agree, but remember , being picky can leave you lonely as well. And believe me, being alone can be a difficult thing to deal with as well.

 

For us picky people, I think being alone is prefferable to being with someone you don't feel that connection to.

[Angel1111]

For us picky people, I think being alone is prefferable to being with someone you don't feel that connection to.

 

I agree. Being alone sometimes has its challenges but I don't think there's anything worse than being in a bad relationship.

 

Although I don't fit into the category of being chronically single - I'm more 'chronically married and unmarried' - this is what happens when you're not picky enough. haha. Different paths to being single but the end result is the same.

Edited September 18, 2010 by Angel1111

[LoveLace]

Maybe us long term single people are too closed up, and miss the opportunity when it comes along. Saying that I love a bit of space to myself, and to make independent decisions, after all thats what were born into the world to do ... heavy relationships take some of that from you.

 

 

This describes me pretty well. I frequently go on a new date, but generally always single. And it's not by choice...so I tell myself. But subconsciously, it might be a choice that I just don't want to admit. I'm lonely but on the other hand I'm always asking myself if I really want to commit my life and world to someone else. I figure if the right one really ever comes along, then I'll know what I want. But for now it's questionable. That aside, I see nothing wrong with actively choosing to stay single. We all only want to do whatever makes us happiest. And you do have plenty of time to change your mind, until then live life to the fullest.

[Disillusioned]

For us picky people, I think being alone is prefferable to being with someone you don't feel that connection to.

 

My divorced friend is living proof of that. He mopes on and on about how he wishes he'd been as picky as I am.

 

I never did go in for that "love the one your with" stuff: I know what I like... and what I don't like.

 

I haven't read any reply in this thread that said something like "maybe they're waiting for the right one". I have that needle in a haystack mentality... that's the only thing keeping me from turning into Mad Max. I don't get out to "happenin' places" much because most of the time I'm focused on keeping the bills paid.

[mclovin]

THere are many different reasons for "chronically single ppl over 30"

 

There could be perfectly reasonable explainations, such as:

 

Career

Family Issues

Health Issues

Late-Bloomer

 

Also, there are some ppl who prefer serious and close relationships...however, their preference may be only to share that with someone who only has potential to be a true life-long partner, and they haven't felt they met that person yet. Needless to say, they may also not want to invest time, effort and energy into meaningless dating/relationships.

 

Then again, there are negative reasons, such as:

 

Emotional immaturity (manchild, peter-pan syndrome)

Commitment Phobia

Being a player;favoring the bachelor/bachelorette lifestyle too much (the free spirit)

Poor social skills & status

Psychological illness

Mama's boys/girls

Inablilty to economize

Career issues

Poor self-esteem/confidence

 

All these reasons are not detailed, but you get the idea of categories. The key is understanding why ppl are chronically single. Some chornically single ppl are completley aware of their situation and have little to no desire to seek a mate or even to date. They are content with their lifestyle and choose it...so please, don't feel bad for these types of ppl as they are satisfied with their relationship status.

 

Now, chronic singlehood evolving from the better reasons does have hope for someone in that situation who wants a relationship/dating partner. The trick is, they need to figure out why their situation is "chronic" and make positive changes if they want romantic stability in their lives.

[TwilightSky]

Well, I think I'm weird/awkward/ugly. Who wouldn't. That's probably why I'm still single. People utter "more confidence durr durr." Confidence does NOT, in itself, mean you'll get anyone. But, I'm not spiteful, I don't want anyone to be in my position. God no.