LucreziaBorgia Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 He is going to continue to act mean and nasty until you break down and give him what he wants. So, what is more important here: your happiness, or his happiness at your (and your family's) expense? Stay clear, and don't cave in to his manipulations. The last thing you want is for him to be nice to you.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 FF, Stay away from him at all cost. If that means you miss a party, a field trip, whatever. What has changed that you are in contact now. Are your kids in the same class? If so, you are going to have to miss somethings or get your child moved. He is a complete nut and control freak. He gets off on getting a reaction and hurting you. He is completely manipulating you and you can't yet handle it. Stay away.
Owl Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 FF...it's exactly this kind of stuff that is why we tell you that you can't go back to being friends, or act like nothing happened. Especially in this case...it's why you need your H's support to help you get through all of this. Trying to do this on your own is going to make the whole situation much, much worse.
lkjh Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Im sorry but I think FF likes the drama. I think she overplays how much the OM thinks about her and I also think she purposely puts herself in situations to see him. She always has some excuse why she has to see him. Im sorry but after all of these years she could have easily ended contact with this couple but she is clearly in love with this guy and she will never be true to her H. FF, you know you enjoy this and you know you were the aggressor in your affair. Either come clean to your H or just divorce him but stop pretending that all of these occurrences just keep happening
lkjh Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 One day down the road you are going to become very disgusted with the fact that you were more than willing to sacrifice your children and H for this affair. If anyone doesn't believe either of my last two post go back and read FF threads from the start. She has been obsessed with this man for the entire time and she has never been willing to give him up. She has always looked too deep into things because she wants to believe that this guy loves her when in reality he just wanted some a** on the side 1
Author forbidden fruit Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 Im sorry but I think FF likes the drama. I think she overplays how much the OM thinks about her and I also think she purposely puts herself in situations to see him. She always has some excuse why she has to see him. Im sorry but after all of these years she could have easily ended contact with this couple but she is clearly in love with this guy and she will never be true to her H. FF, you know you enjoy this and you know you were the aggressor in your affair. Either come clean to your H or just divorce him but stop pretending that all of these occurrences just keep happening First off I have not seen him for about year and a half. I do not have excuses why i have to see him, hello he goes to the same school and his kids are in my kids class. Second I was not the aggressor in the affair, while I will take responsibilty for my part I was not the pursuer. Third I might of been just a piece of a**, but I do know at the time he needed something from me emotionally as well as physically and still does, or he would be ignoring me also as well. I am not as stupid and shallow as you think I am. All you know of me is what I have posted in moments of weakness. So please when you post do not pretend for one moment to surmize my character and intentions in one paragraph.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 He needs someone to manipulate and control. I don't believe for a second that you are the only one. I do believe that you are easy for him because you have a weakness for him.
Ms. Red Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 Hi FF, good to see you again. I just want to point out some things I noticed in what you've posted. You stated this: I have moved past it and do not feel anything when I see him. But then you go on to post that you are in fact not past it and still feel things: It is not a good feeling seeing him after all this time, but it is what it is. Tonight was such a nightmare!! Totally creepy. You also stated: I do not have excuses why i have to see him, hello he goes to the same school and his kids are in my kids class. But it is possible to avoid him and not see him based upon what you said here: Xmm and I have not talked in over a year. First off I have not seen him for about year and a half. You cannot see or speak to this man. You may say one thing but your reaction to him shows another. Please don't even risk going back to where you were. You have made such an improvement and should be really proud of yourself. Don't think you can handle it and see him again. It's not worth the risk of going back to which you have overcome. You managed to not see or speak to him in over a year so it is possible. Don't make excuses to yourself. Stay strong and protect the weak side of you that he is able to bring out of you. I wish you well.
whichwayisup Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 First off I have not seen him for about year and a half. I do not have excuses why i have to see him, hello he goes to the same school and his kids are in my kids class. FF, how old are your kids now? I asked this earlier, maybe you didn't see. Go out of your way to avoid him. Just ignore him! Remember before, ANY kind of reaction for him, feeds his ego. If you can, pick your kids up in a different location at the school.
lkjh Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 First off I have not seen him for about year and a half. I do not have excuses why i have to see him, hello he goes to the same school and his kids are in my kids class. Second I was not the aggressor in the affair, while I will take responsibilty for my part I was not the pursuer. Third I might of been just a piece of a**, but I do know at the time he needed something from me emotionally as well as physically and still does, or he would be ignoring me also as well. I am not as stupid and shallow as you think I am. All you know of me is what I have posted in moments of weakness. So please when you post do not pretend for one moment to surmize my character and intentions in one paragraph. You just want to believe that. Even in your old post you admitted he was a serial cheater. He just wanted some action. You still want him Oh and after reading 4 years of your post, I think we know you better than you want to admit. We also know you will never own up to your affair and tell your H. You will just continue to use him for security.
Author forbidden fruit Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 Hi FF, good to see you again. I just want to point out some things I noticed in what you've posted. You stated this: But then you go on to post that you are in fact not past it and still feel things: You also stated: But it is possible to avoid him and not see him based upon what you said here: You cannot see or speak to this man. You may say one thing but your reaction to him shows another. Please don't even risk going back to where you were. You have made such an improvement and should be really proud of yourself. Don't think you can handle it and see him again. It's not worth the risk of going back to which you have overcome. You managed to not see or speak to him in over a year so it is possible. Don't make excuses to yourself. Stay strong and protect the weak side of you that he is able to bring out of you. I wish you well. Thank you so much. I ran into a mutual friend and she asked me how xmm was doing. She does not know about A. She says weren't you two close and then asked me if she thought he was a player and if he has cheated on his wife. I was stunned and changed subject. After this last week and this convo I have decided to move in 6 months. i cannot handle it anymore and I will move my kids at least for a year somewhere my H and I have always wanted to live. I do not want to possibly run into him, I do not want to be cordial to him, I want nothing to do him and the only way to do that in our small community is make a change!!
IfWishesWereHorses Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Thank you so much. I ran into a mutual friend and she asked me how xmm was doing. She does not know about A. She says weren't you two close and then asked me if she thought he was a player and if he has cheated on his wife. I was stunned and changed subject. What do you make of that FF? Do you think he has come onto her or just that she noticed the difference in your friendship?
Owl Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Thank you so much. I ran into a mutual friend and she asked me how xmm was doing. She does not know about A. She says weren't you two close and then asked me if she thought he was a player and if he has cheated on his wife. I was stunned and changed subject. After this last week and this convo I have decided to move in 6 months. i cannot handle it anymore and I will move my kids at least for a year somewhere my H and I have always wanted to live. I do not want to possibly run into him, I do not want to be cordial to him, I want nothing to do him and the only way to do that in our small community is make a change!! Excellent! This is one of the best things you can do! Keep us posted on how you're progressing with this...how'd you convince your H that it was time to move?
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