Tripp Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Lately I've been having the same nightmare (albeit a little differences). It starts off with me contacting my ex. Halfway through the conversation with my ex, or just anywhere really, I realise that my ex isn't all that and I walk away. Other variations are that I call her a bitch etc and I wake up feeling incredibly horrible (But I dont really know why) I have been wanting to talk to my ex, but i've kept NC. Kept myself busy with band, games etc, but this is the last thing thats been bugging me. She tried talking to me 4 weeks ago (first time in 5 months). She tried apologising for "Being in my face quite recently" (she dates a guy and I see them together everyday...insensitive i reckon). However her opening line was "I FEEL like i SHOULD apologise" so it wasnt even sincere or genuine. Thus, I told her I didnt care anymore and walked off. I think my nightmares stem out of what I did. Normally when my ex tries to contact me I falter, but this time i didnt. And also, to be honest with myself, there have been notions of wanting to contact her. She was my best friend for 3 years, and my first, I just dont want bad blood between us. I dont want to look back and remember the ugly break up. So what should I do? Cheers.
lilbunny Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Dreams are our way of working through our issues while we sleep. Sometimes they are strange and unfathomable, sometimes they are much more clear. It is just your way of trying to process your thoughts and experiences, as your mind settles down it will subside. It is healthy, don't worry about it.
ShannonMI Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Dreams are our way of working through our issues while we sleep. Sometimes they are strange and unfathomable, sometimes they are much more clear. It is just your way of trying to process your thoughts and experiences, as your mind settles down it will subside. It is healthy, don't worry about it. This is true. When I first broke up with my ex, I kept having dreams about trying to talk to him. In the dream he wouldn't listen to me. I kept trying to get through to him and to no avail. Another dream was...he was sleeping and I kept trying to wake him up. I was panicking in the dream. I couldn't get him to respond. I was yelling at him and shaking him, trying to get him to wake up and HEAR me. These dreams were what I was going through in my waking hours with my ex. Not literally, but overall it was the same type of thing. Not being able to get through to him and him not hearing me. I couldn't get through to him, no matter what I said or did. He would brush me off and just say he was sorry that things were the way they were, but we weren't going to get back together. The dreams will subside eventually. It sucks while you are having them because you wake up feeling very depressed. At least I did. I don't have many dreams now about my ex, thank God. It's been almost 4 months. When you fall asleep, try to think of anything besides your ex. Hopefully if you fall asleep thinking of other things, you won't dream of her.
skydiveaddict Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 I've had dreams of me and my ex getting back together. Then you wake up and realize it was just that, a dream. I think those are the worst nightmares of all
lilbunny Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 An example, I dreamt about an ex I haven't seen or spoken to in about four and a half years. I had no reason to think of him, I don't miss him or have feelings for him, but it was a serious R and a pretty big break up- house, bank accounts etc after five and a half years. I guess my subconscious dredged him up because a R was breaking down and that is what he symbolised. OP- these things might pop up years down the line even, but once you are healed it isn't upsetting, I just woke up and thought what a funny thing to dream about.
ShannonMI Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 I've had dreams of me and my ex getting back together. Then you wake up and realize it was just that, a dream. I think those are the worst nightmares of all I've had dreams of kissing and hugging my ex and he's as loving as he used to be. Those ARE the worst dreams. They are literally nightmares because they leave you feeling sad and wanting what you used to have. Waking up to the reality that they aren't there, hurts like hell. They do subside though, with time.
Author Tripp Posted September 10, 2010 Author Posted September 10, 2010 Thanks guys for the support, its good to know they will subside over time. It just really feels that talking to her will end these nightmares. Ive had those nightmares where you get your ex back and you wake up (man theyre frickin nasty), but they ended long ago...this seems different. I just don't know what to do.
Billie The Puppet Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Thanks guys for the support, its good to know they will subside over time. It just really feels that talking to her will end these nightmares. Ive had those nightmares where you get your ex back and you wake up (man theyre frickin nasty), but they ended long ago...this seems different. I just don't know what to do. Either way if my Ex is in my dream it's a Nightmare, Like others replied in this thread I've had a Reconciliation in my dream a couple nights ago I was so happy then I woke up and realized it was a dream and it just shot me down completely that day. Thus even though it was a reconciliation it was a nightmare because it was false. Things is I love those dreams until I wake up and then I hate them. That night same dream followed by another dream in which I end up with a former crush of mine (I have a date with her in a few weeks) and I woke up confused with a bitter sweet feeling. Bitter for Ex and Sweet for Former Crush and the following day I actually had no emotions for my ex I was actually feeling indifferent but it only lasted that day. Here is the sad thing. My Ex and Former Crush were both co-workers of mine in which I was their supervisor (Both are older than myself) 26 and 28 (I' 25) Although the 3 of us no longer work together and are all at separate jobs my Ex knew I had always had a thing for my former crush. She brought it up a lot while we were together she often showed signs of insecurity and I assured her I was in love with her and I wouldn't leave her for my former crush even if I was given the opportunity to or anyone for that matter. (I know that is jumping the gun but I had planned to propose to my ex) However we switched roles near the end of our relationship and I became clingy and insecure myself this is the reason I think it ended. I'll tell you one thing about myself is I don't fall out of love easily if the relationship has entered a LTR status and for me that's >1 year. Well now there is a chance that I may run into my Ex while out with my former crush as she purchased tickets to the same event and the sections are fairly close to each other. Things is my ex left me not the other way around. I wonder what she'll be thinking. If it may trigger anything either.
collegeguy_24 Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 I still have dreams to. Ever since the break up, even last night, I dream of her. Its always has two different endings, either we argue and I leave her for good, which I wake up and it makes me feel so horrible. Or we get back together, and things work out between us. Then I wake up and my hopes are high we will get back together, so I check her new BFs facebook to remind myself that its over and its time to move on cause she obviously made her choice. I still care for her greatly, I still have love for her, but like I said, she made her choice and I can't change that.
Author Tripp Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 So if these nightmares continue to haunt...is it possible that maybe talking to her would solve it, and put my mind at ease? Its not about my ex being with another guy (it was before), i can see them kissing infront of me and it doesnt at all bother...its just I want her to know what really happened after we broke up (whirlwind of rumours). I feel thats the way to solve it.
skydiveaddict Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 So if these nightmares continue to haunt...is it possible that maybe talking to her would solve it, and put my mind at ease? Its not about my ex being with another guy (it was before), i can see them kissing infront of me and it doesnt at all bother...its just I want her to know what really happened after we broke up (whirlwind of rumours). I feel thats the way to solve it. No way . Talking to her will only make it worse
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