Group of friends, left me, and the unsocial friend

[Katzen]

Hello, I'm new to the forums, and I discovered them while looking for some help, I'm feeling frustrated and awkward.

I am 16 years old and just began a new course at high school (3 days of classes now). The history is long, and It's not just me who needs help.

 

Until last year, I didn't socialise much. I had a trip this summer and had a lot of contact with family I didn't see for a few years; This left me with wishes to improve social skills, have friends and hang out more. I have a lot of acquittances but few friends (3-4)

 

So, we began the 7th of sept with a brief reunion of the class. Half of the people I don't know at all, and we are 1 guy for each 8 girls ratio.

On another side, since past saturday till yesterday, we had some friends from Germany that visited us. The same day, all the afternoon, we went out to the City and It was terrific. I was realy happy and enjoying what life can give you.

 

Well, things began two years ago. We began normal classes. I feel that I can socialise well with classmates, a bit hard for everyone to begin small conversations, but it all seems OK. That until the noon break.

 

On the Break, all people tend to go with their friends from the past year, etc. I went with 4 girls (2 of my class and that I know since I began High school 4 years ago). I felt that I was in a place that didn't belong to me, I was just following them like a shadow.

Then he appeared, it's a friend I know from high school, we shared most of the breaks, nice person BUT he can't socialise at all. I mean, he doesn't talk; Not mute, but he is relunctant to talk to even me (it's extreme). Last year he began to integrate in a group, and I hope that I could go free for myself, but I see he is sitting at the end of his class and he goes alone everywhere.

 

Yesterday we went together with the same group of girls, but didn't go out of the school, they wanted to visit "their friends from lower courses/grades"; there I felt really that I was completely in a wrong place.

 

Now, today noon's break is where I collapsed emotionally (no crying but quite angry since then). It's the same as the first day, we go out with them, and my friend also. There's a shop close to the school and we went there. We arrive there and my friend wants to go to the toilet, then I wait, I wanted to say something to them and one of them (the one that I most know and would consider a friend) says to me "Oh, wait here, or he'll get angry" (he was in the toilet) and they begin to walk (almost run) away, 30 feet from me, they begin laughing. I was like "Oh, sh*t, not alone again in this situation. They left me like a poor dog."

 

I think they wanted to get rid of us because the day before they told me "oh wait here, we don't know where we go" (aka, go away), today they too said it.

 

After the break, I share a class (economy) with one of them (the one I most know) and she approached another girl (new, but friend of another classmate) saying "hey, you sit alone? You can seat here if you want." just when I came in. So I sat alone on the front row (in front of them). She talked to me like nothing happened.

 

So, since that time I can't get this situation out of my head, of being abandoned in such a way, and the worst is that one of them is friend.

 

I have the problem now that I was left alone with my friend, but he doesn't talk at all. I can talk all I want, but he will just nod and make corporal gestures; He's scared to talk to almost everyone.

I feel quite disgraced, as I feel that I need a lot more Social contact. In High school breaks were me and him for a long time, with one (the friend) or two of those girls and in three weeks we had a rather large group, that disbanded.

 

I feel that If my friend had his own group, I would be free to meet people easily. But, he has a lot of problems socialising (you know, no talking at all).

 

I have a very good friend that is a grade higher, he REALLY helped me a lot on my first two years of high school, where I had two friends that began to treat me badly just beginning high school (go away, etc).

I haven't told him anything about how I feel, because still we didn't have an opportunity. He's got two or three friends and he would invite me to his group without hesitation. But his friend doesn't seem very sympathetic to me (he's nice, but he's just like he doesn't know me at all, having met various times this last two years, not even saying hello).

 

I am really looking forward to meet new people, but I have the problem of my friend and also myself.

 

What most intrigues me is that female friend. She is quite sympathetic except at the break, where she ignores me (us), and goes with the cool ppl in other classes.

 

I feel the need to arrive university, it's beginning from zero. But I felt that this point would be here, in this year.

Perhaps people and me need time to know and make friends, joining a group. my seat mate (we seat in rows of 2 people) seems quite nice and was near with her group (they are new at the school). She and the girl of economy (the one my friend proposed to sit in my place) share classes with me. Perhaps I can get an opportunity to get close to them (she seatmate told me they just met a guy), but there's my friend that I don't know how would handle it.

 

Problem is also, how to approach. I think it would be a bomb to say "Hey, I saw you got a group of friends and they seem nice, can I go on the break with you?/and you present them to me?"

 

It's curious how in 3 days, I've been in a total happiness and full of life (tuesday) to be frustrated and not that happy (today friday). This incident is a big reason of my "blues", but I wonder if the family friends who visited us had something to do, as they left today early morning.

 

Dang, it was long.

I'm not depressed or anything, and still mantain hope, humor and some hapiness. But I'm really frustrated.

[2sure]

You sound wonderful. And independent , thoughtful, articulate, and intelligent. What you are experiencing is not at all unusual for women of your caliber. Be true to yourself. Just yourself. Soon, you will get comfortable with that.

[Katzen]

You sound wonderful. And independent , thoughtful, articulate, and intelligent. What you are experiencing is not at all unusual for women of your caliber. Be true to yourself. Just yourself. Soon, you will get comfortable with that.

Thanks, your comment really lifted up my mood, a few people told me that and well, it lifts self-esteem.

 

Another thing is that I don't feel in teenage years. I fell that I've passed that crazy mind of the teen years and I'm much more thoughful and serious.

You reminded me of women, people say teen women are rather crazy; Yep, just that.

 

The problem is that I'm scared to be left alone with my friend. My needs for socialising have increased. But he's the one in serious trouble; He can't speak to anyone, including me.

 

As of finding a new group, I'll just have patience. People need time and knowing someone also. Perhaps is that I'm impatient.