HopeLove Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 I'm still heartbroken. I was in a realtionship for only 10 1/2 months. We had a great time together and and thought he was "the one", but he dumped me. It's nearly 4 1/2 months since the breakup and I'm still heartbroken and feel so sad. Try to keep myself busy, etc, etc, but it seams that nothing really works. What can I do?
onthebrinkofitall Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Wish I had some magic advice to make you all better.. but sadly, I don't. No one does. We all cope in different ways. I was in love with the same person for 8 years.. though we lived states apart for quite a few of them, he was still the love of my life. He still is the love of my life.. and maybe he always will be. I'm not sure how bad you're depression is or if you're depressed at all but I'm actually taking anti-depressants and starting counseling next week. This may be something you need to do for a while.. it doesn't make everything all better immediately but it helps you to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. At least that's how I felt. Read some self-help books on relationships and being by yourself.. letting someone go. DO NOT read sappy romance novels or watch lovey dovey movies by yourself.. you're just asking for trouble. Call a friend and let them know what you're going through.. every time you start to think about your ex, call your friend instead.. it's OK to vent. Sometimes we need to get things out. And remember, you're human.
Author HopeLove Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 I still miss him and I still love him. Eventhough I enjoy a day I think I would double enjoy if he were there with me, but I have to face the reality that he's not. He decided not to be with me and yet I still love him so much. I wish I wouldn't love him so much because this love cause me pain and yet it seams like I can't stop loving him. This is so crazy...
scienceguy Posted September 12, 2010 Posted September 12, 2010 (edited) In my limited experience, there's nothing you can do to "get over" a break up. It just doesn't happen like that. You learn to cope with the loss and pain, and you learn to accept that the relationship has ended, but you don't "get over" it. It's not like you'll wake up one day and things will be fine. The best thing you can do is to live your life as fully as possible--as if the breakup never occurred. Go out with your friends, enjoy work (or school), pick up a new hobby, immerse yourself in the arts, travel or do whatever you want, but that's it. I think a good way of thinking about break ups is a lot like a fire that you cannot put out. There is nothing you can do about your feelings, and you just have to live your life with that weight on your shoulders. Simply put: you have to endure it. I know that's not a pleasant response, but in time the pain will shrink and become a smaller part of your life. It may even be there years later. You didn't get an opportunity to say goodbye to that relationship, and the emotionally violent break you went though is something you just have to accept. In time, the "fire" will reduce to a small flame, and you will move on, but it'll be there, for a long long time. Just live your life as fully as possible. I'm telling this from personal experience. I moped over an ex who cheated on me, and one of my biggest regrets is how I let the failed relationship grind my life to a halt. Don't do that. It'll make things a lot worse. Good luck. PS: You might want to consider doing a little dating, even if it's not serious. It helps to realize that there are other people out there. Edited September 12, 2010 by scienceguy
Author HopeLove Posted September 12, 2010 Author Posted September 12, 2010 Thank you for the replies. @ Scienceguy, excellent answer. Is hard to think I might always have this pain, on the other hand is better to know and accept it rather than waiting for it to disappear and despair because is not going away.
Author HopeLove Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 I still miss him. I don't feel the urge to contact him anymore. In fact I hope I won't see him for a while since I'm still heartbroken and seeing him won't help me at all. But I feel so sad and lonely. We had such a wonderfull time when we were together... Today I was listening "Separate lives" form Phill Collins. It's funny how well descrives me situation. I would love you guys to post something here. I guess I need you to cheer me up a little bit. I don't want to feel into depression.
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