aerogurl87 Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 My parents have been married 27 years and I'm pretty sure they have no sex life. Now why would this bother me since I'm his daughter you may ask? Because it's causing my dad to become more and more irritable which affects me on a regular basis. Anyway, my parents haven't held hands since 10 years ago, I haven't seen them kiss (even briefly) since I was 13 and I'm about to be 21 soon. They work differing shifts so usually they don't go to sleep at the same time but even when they do my mom insists they sleep with the door wide open. Then when they are home together it's a rarity that they spend time together.... ever. Either my mom's on the phone with her friends, bitching at my dad about something, or heading out to go out with her friends. My mom is cold, when my dad goes to kiss her or hug her, she pushes him off of her. My mom's excuse is that my grandmother acted the same way towards her husband and that's why she's like that. The thing is though, I act the complete opposite towards my boyfriend, so I think that's pretty much some BS. So yeah, I guess this is just a rant after reading all these depressing threads on sexless marriages.
Toodamnpragmatic Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 My parents have been married 27 years and I'm pretty sure they have no sex life. Now why would this bother me since I'm his daughter you may ask? Because it's causing my dad to become more and more irritable which affects me on a regular basis. Anyway, my parents haven't held hands since 10 years ago, I haven't seen them kiss (even briefly) since I was 13 and I'm about to be 21 soon. They work differing shifts so usually they don't go to sleep at the same time but even when they do my mom insists they sleep with the door wide open. Then when they are home together it's a rarity that they spend time together.... ever. Either my mom's on the phone with her friends, bitching at my dad about something, or heading out to go out with her friends. My mom is cold, when my dad goes to kiss her or hug her, she pushes him off of her. My mom's excuse is that my grandmother acted the same way towards her husband and that's why she's like that. The thing is though, I act the complete opposite towards my boyfriend, so I think that's pretty much some BS. So yeah, I guess this is just a rant after reading all these depressing threads on sexless marriages. of the forum.... Enjoy your youth and freedom.... Do not settle and also wait 'til marriage. It is a good thing you see these traps and negative influences.... Now off to the Dating or Sex subsections.....;)
InternationalPlayboy Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 My parents weren't particularly lovey-dovey, but honestly there's no way of truly knowing what goes on between two people in a relationship unless you are one of those people. And even then it can be difficult.
You Go Girl Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Aerogirl--as much as your mother appears to be the guilty party here --you've never been in the marriage or in their sex life, so I would refrain from making a judgment call. Kids really aren't privvy to their parent's marriage as much as they think they are. That said, why not have a relaxed and careful discussion with each of them, stating that you think they have more to give each other than they currently are? One or both may just tell you to mind your business, or that you are too young to understand, or some other carp, which simply means that they are uncomfortable discussing the intimacy with their partner with their daughter. I'm sure you could be understanding of their refusal to discuss such matters. Or...they may agree to discuss it a little with you. Or, it could enlarge your relations with one or both of them in having adult discussions. There is a definite transition period with children as to communication taking that turn to finally be adult to adult. Kudos to you if you are able to make transition smoothly!
ladylucky Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 I really understand this one. I'm pretty young too and my parents are divorced but my dad is remarried and he never gets any. it drives me up the wall because he takes it out on us! im married and i have a strange relationship at times but im happy. having a sexless marriage sucks but if i have learned anything about life its that you make it the way that it is. your partner should be your closest confidant so you should be able to tell them anything. especially when it comes to problems with your relationship. we are not all doomed to a sexless, loveless marriage. and im sure your not either. i have no advice on anything that has worked thus far. i talked to my dad about it and he wasnt really happy about his youngest daughter talking to him about his sex life. just live and learn. be observant. learn from other peoples mistakes because making them on your own can be horribly painful.
GorillaTheater Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 honestly there's no way of truly knowing what goes on between two people in a relationship unless you are one of those people. And even then it can be difficult. Difficult indeed. I've been married as long as aerogirl's parents and although I've learned a hell of alot in that time, it only makes me even more aware of how much I don't know about my marriage, my wife, me ...
Author aerogurl87 Posted September 10, 2010 Author Posted September 10, 2010 of the forum.... Enjoy your youth and freedom.... Do not settle and also wait 'til marriage. It is a good thing you see these traps and negative influences.... Now off to the Dating or Sex subsections.....;) Lol, usually I'm in the Long Distance Relationships section as I can really relate to everyone on there as I'm in a LDR with my boyfriend right now. But from time to time I pop into here to read or say something. I really understand this one. I'm pretty young too and my parents are divorced but my dad is remarried and he never gets any. it drives me up the wall because he takes it out on us! im married and i have a strange relationship at times but im happy. having a sexless marriage sucks but if i have learned anything about life its that you make it the way that it is. your partner should be your closest confidant so you should be able to tell them anything. especially when it comes to problems with your relationship. we are not all doomed to a sexless, loveless marriage. and im sure your not either. i have no advice on anything that has worked thus far. i talked to my dad about it and he wasnt really happy about his youngest daughter talking to him about his sex life. just live and learn. be observant. learn from other peoples mistakes because making them on your own can be horribly painful. Yes I know we aren't all doomed to having a sexless marriage, but it bothers me mostly because my dad takes his frustration out on me by being in a bad mood constantly. I also know my dad isn't innocent, but my mom's pretty manipulative. I know this because she told me to wait to have sex with a guy, not because it was bad in God's eyes or that it would prove he loved me, but because it would hook a guy in and get him to marry me. Even if my dad is a bad husband in ways I can't see, I don't think anyone should have to be married to someone who treats them like they're a stranger, refusing to even kiss them or give them a hug even.
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 I'm pretty sure my parents are in a sexless marriage too. My dad often drops 'jokes' about it. I can tell he is bitter and resentful of that fact, but I know he is at times cruel/mean to my mum, so maybe one issue feeds the other and it becomes a vicious circle.
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