shayan Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Isn't it funny when 10 months after you've known someone for years you can not even recognize how much they've changed. Listen, when I read most of these posts I recognize it's about people trying to get their exes back, or trying to be friends with them, or trying to reconcile their feelings, or trying to get closure from their exes. Let me help you for a moment, relationships which end hardly ever are rebuilt, from experience in my own life and from seeing others I have realized that the wounds which a torn relationship cause destroy any chances for a rebuild. We are often so stuck in the past remembering the person we used to be the person they used to be, I hate to break it to you they can't be that person anymore if they spent time de-attaching themselves from you mentally, and emotionally so that they could leave you. Let go, sooner then later. Let go, my friends. Come into yourselves, this time after a break up should not be spent in the past. It should be used to mourn are loss and to start re-constructing our lives. I am pretty confident in my position and I believe it will apply to the majority of cases presented on LS. Do I love her anymore today I saw her, 10 months after we broke up, 10 months after I spent caring for her because I could not let her go and needed her friendship, when in reality she could never quite be my friend again, relationships and their ends change us. I didn't even remotely recognize her. Cry, And Let Go.
L3stat Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Yes, you are so right, i don't even know my ex anymore. She was so sweet and caring to everyone but now she's just heartless and cruel(at least to me). The Funny thing is i hate who she is but love who she was and thats who i am in love with, hoping that person will come back but she's dead.
Silvaria Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Well, shayan, thank you for your bluntness. It's true...most of us are seeking to regain the past, when things were happier. That being said...I am simply not ready to let go, though I am getting there more quickly. I'll be 43 at the end of this month...I've had more than a few relationships, including a 15 year marriage, and this was by far the best and most intense of my life, when it was good. I'm just not ready to throw in the towel yet. In my case, it's a little different because he is bipolar...and as much as some people would say that should send me running, the fact is that underneath his mania and depressions, there is a truly good guy who needs love, just like anyone else. However...the longer we stay broken up, the more I am recognizing what you are saying...that I may simply need to let it go, and move on. I am very much at a crossroads right now...but I appreciate what you're saying. It is straightforward, and honest.
Shakz Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 (edited) Well, shayan, thank you for your bluntness. It's true...most of us are seeking to regain the past, when things were happier. That being said...I am simply not ready to let go, though I am getting there more quickly. I'll be 43 at the end of this month...I've had more than a few relationships, including a 15 year marriage, and this was by far the best and most intense of my life, when it was good. I'm just not ready to throw in the towel yet. In my case, it's a little different because he is bipolar...and as much as some people would say that should send me running, the fact is that underneath his mania and depressions, there is a truly good guy who needs love, just like anyone else. However...the longer we stay broken up, the more I am recognizing what you are saying...that I may simply need to let it go, and move on. I am very much at a crossroads right now...but I appreciate what you're saying. It is straightforward, and honest. So take the right direction and leave him on the other road. If you have any reservations at all then the relationship is a no go. You deserve to be happy. Why should you compromise your happiness just to make someone else happy, who can't really be happy in the first place? I'm sorry if I'm blunt, but your own happiness is all that should matter. How can you make others happy if you, yourself, are not happy? Edited September 10, 2010 by Shakz
skydiveaddict Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Isn't it funny when 10 months after you've known someone for years you can not even recognize how much they've changed. Listen, when I read most of these posts I recognize it's about people trying to get their exes back, or trying to be friends with them, or trying to reconcile their feelings, or trying to get closure from their exes. Let me help you for a moment, relationships which end hardly ever are rebuilt, from experience in my own life and from seeing others I have realized that the wounds which a torn relationship cause destroy any chances for a rebuild. We are often so stuck in the past remembering the person we used to be the person they used to be, I hate to break it to you they can't be that person anymore if they spent time de-attaching themselves from you mentally, and emotionally so that they could leave you. Let go, sooner then later. Let go, my friends. Come into yourselves, this time after a break up should not be spent in the past. It should be used to mourn are loss and to start re-constructing our lives. I am pretty confident in my position and I believe it will apply to the majority of cases presented on LS. Do I love her anymore today I saw her, 10 months after we broke up, 10 months after I spent caring for her because I could not let her go and needed her friendship, when in reality she could never quite be my friend again, relationships and their ends change us. I didn't even remotely recognize her. Cry, And Let Go. Finally, some one who "gets it"
Livelovelearn Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 We are often so stuck in the past remembering the person we used to be the person they used to be, I hate to break it to you they can't be that person anymore if they spent time de-attaching themselves from you mentally, and emotionally so that they could leave you. Wow this is strong. Out of everything you said, this hit me the most. I have been stuck on the man my ex used to be, i told him he changed and I know due to the problems in our relationship I changed as well. It is so true he did take his time to disconnect from me, we are talking about the man who tried so hard to get me and when he did, he loved me like no one else. Wow.....thats reality. I thank you for this because it really did hit home for me. I needed this. Thanks! lovely post
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