carla Posted February 22, 2004 Posted February 22, 2004 My 15 yr old (amost 16) step daughter is dating a pot head YIKES!!!! She likes the guy as a friend and she was kinda of caught off guard when he asked her out. At the time she said "Yeah OK." Later she realised that all she wants is to continue to be friends with him but doesn't know how to tell him without giving him that old line of "Let's just be friends." She has informed me that he does not smoke infront of her b/c she told him that she is against this and he has been considerate enough to comply with her feelings. She is afraid to confront him face to face (This is more of her insecurities and not b/c of how he will react) so she thinks that writing a letter would help. Any suggestions? (She needs to know b4 school on Monday.)
dyermaker Posted February 22, 2004 Posted February 22, 2004 The line doesn't have to be contrived, but the discussion needs to be had. Don't write him a letter, letters have no value. If I got a letter, I'd use it as rolling paper.
Author carla Posted February 22, 2004 Author Posted February 22, 2004 lol I told her to introduce him to her father. Her reply "NOT"
dyermaker Posted February 22, 2004 Posted February 22, 2004 Originally posted by carla lol I told her to introduce him to her father. LOL, that would certainly work.
mauler2 Posted February 22, 2004 Posted February 22, 2004 I think its quite good that you know your daughter is seeing someone like that. At least they aren’t sneaking around. Still, if the problem lies in not knowing how to get rid of him [or the love interest he has with your daughter], then you might have to lie and say your daughter is allergic to his habit. Perhaps you could just change his ways… But if you fear for your daughter, has this guy been violent or whatever? Why is your daughter afraid of rejecting him exactly? Is he a criminal?
Author carla Posted February 23, 2004 Author Posted February 23, 2004 Yes we are very open and honest with each other and I trust her judgement. According to her he is a very nice guy other then his habit. Which I think is great that he won't do around her and she is open enough to him to tell him that she is against it. As for her not wanting to confront him, I don't think he is violent or anything like that, it's just your typical teenage fear of negetive confrontation and her own insecurities which she is dealing with. I think it's great that she knows that she doesn't want a relationship right now. She is going to give him a letter tommorrow at school. She let me read her letter and I think she did a great job at explaining herself without making to sound like it has anything to do with him. The typical break up is "It's not YOUR fault it's all ME and let's be FRIENDS." Basically this is what she wants to tell him, but with truth behind it. She just wanted advise on how to say this without him thinking "Yeah Right." Thanks for your input.
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