HELP! I think I may have a potential stalker on my hands!!!!

[Beatnik]

OK I've known of this girl for a couple years but never really talked her. I had noticed the way she looked at me sometimes so I had an impression that she liked me, but I wasnt interested.

 

Well a few weeks into the new semester, and after numerous schedule changes from my school's crappy counselor staff, I was placed in an English class and seated right next to said girl. Well became friends and we started emailing and whatnot and she started laying it on pretty thick but I didnt respond to it, hoping she'd get the picture. Well eventually she just wrote me a note and asked me if I liked her or not. I told her I just didnt feel that spark and she seemed ok with it, even though she called me an ass jokingly. Well the next day she writes me a note saying that the whole thing I said about the spark was complete bull**** and she told me to go **** myself. Well she apolgized when school started again. Then she wanted to know what the exact reason was that I didnt like her. And then she sent me this email asking if we could just be no strings attached and go on dates and makeout and play around a bit. I told her no that I just wasnt into casual **** like that. Well she sent me another emailing saying I was boring, and that we wouldnt go all the way cause its "bad". And she told me she loved me!!!

 

I'm creeped out because I've only been talking to this girl for maybe 3 weeks!!

 

What the hell should I do about this?!?!?

[C.Celine.C]

Whoa thats intense. I would confront her about her innapropreate behavior and avoid her afterwords. Even if she eventually stops, its still weird.

[Beatnik]

but how can i avoid her when I sit right next to her?

[Darkangelism]

Talk to her about it if it continues talk to the teacher.

[reasontosigh]

You may have some crappy counselors at your school, but if ever you truly needed them to come through for you on something I'd say this would be it.

 

I don't think confronting her would be a good idea since in her apparently warped mind she may take it as encouragement. Avoidance would be more beneficial, but I can see where he would have a problem making it work since he is stuck sitting next to her.

[SoleMate]

No email, no talking outside class, look the other way. And minimize talking in class when it's permitted.

 

If your teacher is sympathetic, you could try getting your seat moved. A caring teacher would do a general rearrangement so it is not obvious what is being done.

 

And now you know what it feels like to have someone unduly obsessed with you. Strange how that supposed "love" quickly turns into an assault, isn't it?

[Vivid_29]

What the hell is wrong with you, dude? This is like every mans dream -- A woman who wants to 'mess around' and maybe more, with no strings attached. What are you waiting for??? Go for it!!!

 

If you don't, you'll regret it, trust me. One day, you're gonna be really horny and you're gonna wish that you'd accepted her proposal. She's practically throwing herself at you. Go and get her!

 

Don't let her creep you out. Play the game! If she tells you that she loves you, tell her what she wants to hear, hit it, and send her on her way!

 

~V

[SoleMate]

with no strings attached

Hunnhh? Regardless of what she says, this girl is nothing BUT strings. If she's hard to shake now, it'll be 10 times worse after sexual relations.

 

And Viv...you really are a s*ck f*ck!!!

[Vivid_29]

Hunnhh? Regardless of what she says, this girl is nothing BUT strings. If she's hard to shake now, it'll be 10 times worse after sexual relations.

 

Not if he plays his cards right. Just bang her and if she starts getting all weird, set her a$$ straight!

 

I swear, you all seen too many friggin movies about these broads that start stalking

men, after they sleep with them. Let's see, off the top of my head, I can think of three -- Fatal Attraction, Malicious Intent, Swimfan. Yeah, these things may happen, but it is highly unlikely. Bullsh*t movies!

 

And Viv...you really are a s*ck f*ck!!!

 

Compliment taken!

 

~V

[Arabess]

I can see Viv with a T-shirt which actually says "STALK ME BABY and STALK ME HARD!". LOL!

 

Beatnik,

She's probably more of a wierdo than a stalker. Ignore and Avoid.......

[Vivid_29]

Or 'Catch me if you can'

 

 

~Vivid

[monkey00]

it's as simple as this:

 

cut all contact with her. and avoid her presence whenever you can.

 

or you can just confront her to cut it out and that you're interested in someone else (who knows she might get suspicious if you say this) or just say you dont like her ....i know that's rough man but sometimes u just gotta force this stuff down their throats when they dont get the picture to back off.

[UCFKevin]

Exactly.

 

I basically did just that on Friday night, calling this psycho girl who's been calling me for the past month, a month ago I told her we shouldn't see each other anymore, and she acted like that conversation never happened. Apparently she fell in love with me after a few dates. Didn't want to give up or let go.

 

Kinda scary.

[moimeme]

Problem is that everyone has heard the romantic stories about the fellow or lady who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer and eventually won the heart of his or her intended. So these people figure if it can happen to grandpa or uncle Bob, or the couple in the documentary, why not them.

[Beatnik]

Trust me Vivid, I don't want to do anything with this chick! Besides I already have a few girls in reserve that just want to mess around with me if I ever feel up for it.

 

I was thinking last night that I should just send her an email saying we should not pursue any type of relationship at all, even a platonic one.

[reasontosigh]

Originally posted by moimeme

Problem is that everyone has heard the romantic stories about the fellow or lady who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer and eventually won the heart of his or her intended. So these people figure if it can happen to grandpa or uncle Bob, or the couple in the documentary, why not them.

 

For grandpa and Uncle Bob, yes.

 

Only time will tell (I mean generally, not this case specfically) if it will work for Auntie Anne as well!

[Vivid_29]

Alright friends, you all win.

 

Beatnik - You know what you gotta do, pal. Lots of good advice here.

 

~V

[midori]

Originally posted by Beatnik

I was thinking last night that I should just send her an email saying we should not pursue any type of relationship at all, even a platonic one.

 

I wouldn't email her. I think your best bet is to ignore her as much as possible. The earlier suggestion about speaking privately to your teacher about having a seat change is a good one -- and it would be better if it could be a room-wide switch so that it won't be obvious.

 

This girl is set on a program that only feeds her things she wants to hear. If the actual facts are not aligned with that, her program will twist them so that they become the things she wants to hear. So any communication from you will be subject to warped interpretation by her.

 

What she is doing amounts to harassment. If you were a girl and posted the exact same story I think many of us would strongly advise you to go right to the principal or guidance counselor, with emails in hand, to show what you're being subjected to.

 

This girl is not after no-strings anything with you. She's just throwing out whatever lure she thinks you'll go for. Girls know that guys are supposed to want no-strings sex (and obviously there's some truth to that). Her goal is to keep you engaged and on a trajectory of ever-increasing intimacy. She'll take any opening, and then she'll try to get more. It's not about you as a person, because she doesn't know you that well. She's ignoring your polite and clear-cut messages declining her advances because she doesn't really care about you and what you want. She wants you to step into the role she's constructed for you.

 

If you have to speak with her about this again, I'd say something like, "Look Erin, you don't seem to be getting the message that I'm not interested in having any kind of relationship with you. I'm not interested in no-strings sex with you. I think it would be better for you to find someone who really appreciates you."

 

Again, I would definitely alert a teacher or counselor to what's going on. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

[faux]

If you were not in a dating relationship with this girl then you cannot get a restraining order against her. You can, however, depending on your age (Talk to your municipality) file charges of harassment or stalking against her. You will have to prove your case.

 

Try to ignore her for now. The less of a reaction you give people like this, they will get bored and leave you alone. Still, save everything that could help you if she turns out to be more problematic.

 

Save emails, notes, phone conversations if you can (Check with your local laws. In my state it is legal to record phone conversations without notifying the other party, so long as you are a party to that conversation.), and answering machine/voice mail messages (Legal in any state.)

 

If she doesn't stop take legal action. You don't need to deal with this sort of thing. Hopefully just ignoring her and informing a teacher about it will help you though.

 

Best of luck.

[monkey00]

the problem is that when ppl go through infatuation, they mistaken it for love....and most of the time they dont realize this.

 

if you do confront her, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY.

 

she may interpret what you say into what she wants to hear, or maybe twist your words around to suit her. and think you could be playing hard to get, while being stubborn on the subject that you plain dont like her

[reasontosigh]

Originally posted by reasontosigh

...I don't think confronting her would be a good idea since in her apparently warped mind she may take it as encouragement. ...

 

That's exactly why he shouldn't confront her.

[reasontosigh]

Btw, you most certainly do not want a stalker. Trust me on this one.

[Girlie]

I agree with whoever said you should not confront her. The more you talk to her, the worse things may get. I'd put someone on notice that this girl is bothering you, just in case she's extremely weird. So far, it seems like she just has a little infactuation. If you can't move seats, do your best to completely ignore her. Any type of communication will typically feed an infactuation. Sometimes, the harder you push, the more they pursue. Try not talking to her at all, if you can and see how that goes.

[Beatnik]

OK I went ahead and confronted her, I just said, I think it would be best if we didnt hang out. And while she didnt completely get the message, she did stop being aggressive about it, and I guess were just friends now, but still calls me cute and baby and sweetie and crap like that.