Darby5126 Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I'll keep it short. I have been separated from my wife for nearly two years, after she told me "she fell out of love" with me after 12 yrs of marriage and a 5yr old daughter. I was more pissed than sad, wondering how she could do that to our daughter. We still get along because we were "friends" at the time of the split. About two months after the split I start dating a 28 yr old awesome girl, and have been with her off an on for almaost 2 yrs. , but i am hooked oon her. Granted we have our ups and downs, mini-breakups, etc. I'm 50 btw so some of this drama is normal. In the meantine, my ex wife begins to date a good man for nearly 9 months. They recently split up. Me and my GF had another break-up, and I instituted a month long NC. Well, yesterday, my ex GF contacts me (which I wanted) and wants to start fresh, she is starting to see a counselor, registered for nursing school, met with her family about her future and me, and making positive steps to improve our relationship and realized that I am the best for her. I am super thrilled because I think with some mutual effort it could be great. Here is the problem. I drop off my daughter at my my ex-wife's house. She states she needs to meet with me privately and "talk", and she is in tears, holding back sobs. BTW, i have spent a little extra time at the house with my daughter to help out with homework etc. She has been giving off positive signals, being more complimentary etc. I am certain she is having second thoughts about the divorce, and wants to propose a reconcilliation. BUT I am very interested in pursuing my other realtionship. The ex-wife and I would have to clear up alot of issues, however, the GF and I have issues as well. I hate to break a heart here, but i have to do whats right for me not just go back to the ex-wife merely to be with my daughter, live in my house etc..Or break the heart of my GF who has really been awesome to me in many ways where my wife wasn't. Family and friends think the GF is unstable, but I love her dearly and her family too and its mutual. My daughter loves the GF also, (as well as her mommy of course) So, I am torn, and felt the need to go to the LS community for advice and feedback.
2sure Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 You feel like you have a decision to make. I'm not sure you are in that position at all. Regardless, think about this: 1. Your ex-wife is just breaking up with her (rebound?) BF. So , she is sad and lonely. You have been pretty tolerable to her lately. 2. You have a woman 20 years younger than yourself who is showing some real potential. Suddenly you are lookin pretty good to your sad & lonely ex. Now, pretend that #1 and #2 do not exist.
Author Darby5126 Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 Excellent post. Something to definitely think about! You are right in that I can't make that decision yet. I will have to really break things down with both of them (separately of course LOL) state my expectations from each of the relationships and see if MY happiness is a result. As far as forgetting #1 and #2 don't exist, is difficult, but it is a way of thinking i had not considered.
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