Mangomonkey Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 This goes both ways for genders. I know guys that slept with over alot of women. And women that slept with alot of guys. Does it affect how you look at someone your interested in? Would you wanna even know? Why or why not? Would you feel insecure that maybe you couldnt offer something as good as someone else may have in the persons past? Even if they say your the best? Do you use that as a reflection on the person? (for guys) How would you feel if a very attractive woman slept with alot of guys at first sight but when it came to you. You were the lucky guy that was selected as someone she wanted to be in a relationship with and want to wait and not rush things? (for girls) How would you feel if a guy you were attracted to been with many different people leading up to right before you two became official. And you heard about it from the grapevine and other women gave you negative feedback on the guy because of his promiscurity? Me personally. I would not wanna know BUT i would like to know that the person wouldnt mind telling me about their past and be open enough about it. Cause it lets me know somewhat the amount of energy and trust that they put into the relationship. Now if i knew before hand well truthfully i wouldnt take the person that serious but then again. The most insightful and best conversation i have had with women were very promiscuris type.
TaraMaiden Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Don't - PLEASE DON'T - Feed The Troll, guys....... !
Author Mangomonkey Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 Okay number one Im not trolling. Number two my questions come from patterns i have seen in many many threads. Number three these are questions i have talked about with people and even though i may already have my own opinion on things i like to hear opinions of others because there are certain issues that people like to point out but never talk about Now if there is a problem then dont post on my thread. Thank you
TaraMaiden Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Mangomonkey, I was actually referring to the idiot above me.... Women who have had sex alot probably have some mental illness or have had some problems. I would never go into a relationship with a woman who have even had sex, nevermind alot of sex.
Author Mangomonkey Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 Oh im sorry. And as for chap. If he is or isnt a troll. I think men who find problems with a woman's past is a sign of his insecurity. Either because he wasnt a first choice or dont think he can beat what she had. Something alot of guys have trouble with. even if many dont admit it
GorillaTheater Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I'm of an age where if, God forbid, I find myself back on the market, I would only assume that the other women have had multiple partners. But if I found out those multiple partners ran into, say, the triple digits, I'd have to step back and try to figure out what that was all about and how I felt about it.
USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Oh im sorry. And as for chap. If he is or isnt a troll. I think men who find problems with a woman's past is a sign of his insecurity. Either because he wasnt a first choice or dont think he can beat what she had. Something alot of guys have trouble with. even if many dont admit it This. A lot of guys have problems with being second (or third or fourth, etc) best. And it's not just with sex, but anything else.
TaraMaiden Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Please trust me on this. he's a new member. He's a member because he's only just registered. But I know for a fact, he's already been banned on several occasions, yet keeps coming back for more. I can almost guarantee his post will disappear at some point. Different name, but absolutely 100% the same pile of crud..... As for your question, providing a person is healthy and safe, I personally don't feel it matters how many people a partner has had.... Really, for me, I'm not bothered.....
Anela Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Yes, it does.. I'm not impressed by guys who feel the need to bed all kinds of women, and don't get me started on the guy who claimed he hadn't been with prostitutes in Thailand (and then it came out later on, when we'd cut contact for several months and then reconnected, that he had slept with two, because they *really* liked him, so it didn't count as having bedded hookers, even though he paid, and he'd lied to me about what he got up to over there). He thought it was a good argument to make, that he hadn't done anything he didn't want to do - other than the fact that he'd lied to me, trying to cozy up with me, I just see him as sleazy now - and he knew I didn't like his going there in the first place. 1
Stockalone Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Does it affect how you look at someone your interested in? Yes. Would you wanna even know? Why or why not? I want to know. Why? I am opposed to casual sex for various reasons. A woman who is okay with casual sex is not someone I want to be with. Aside from the moral objections, I also don't like to take risks, and IME people who have casual sex are risk takers in general. I don't feel comfortable with that trait in a partner. Would you feel insecure that maybe you couldnt offer something as good as someone else may have in the persons past? No. Do you use that as a reflection on the person? Yes. (for guys) How would you feel if a very attractive woman slept with alot of guys at first sight but when it came to you. You were the lucky guy that was selected as someone she wanted to be in a relationship with and want to wait and not rush things? At first, I was flabbergasted that I should consider myself lucky, then I actually started laughing because of the sheer ridiculousness of that sort of thinking. That said, the woman in question had lied about her past which made the situation a lot worse. If a woman is honest about her past when I ask her, I can appreciate and respect the honesty. In a situation like you described above, I would simply consider myself incompatible with the woman and move on.
carhill Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 (for guys) How would you feel if a very attractive woman slept with alot of guys at first sight but when it came to you. You were the lucky guy that was selected as someone she wanted to be in a relationship with and want to wait and not rush things? My sole reservation wrt her compatibility, if voluntarily disclosed, would turn upon the ease with which she historically has *chosen* to embark on quick and relatively random sexual encounters and how that dynamic would impact a successful LTR. This dynamic would also include the scope of her retention of such persons as 'friends' and how she interacts with men in general. All would indicate her compatibility in that regard with myself, not as a general judgment of her character. She can be an outstanding partner. Time and getting to know her would indicate to me whether that someone would be myself.
Author Mangomonkey Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 The funny thing. The question i put for guys is what i seen guys go through in other threads. During their college years or whatever time they would date women who thought that they were the person the wanted to be in a relationship with but wanted to wait. But after they broke up they are laid up with someone else the next day. This happen to me with a woman. But hey. Only reason i dont got too much of a problem with it is only because most woman who dont go through that kinda stage that i know end up in relationships wondering what they missed. And happily pursue what they missed. Even if their with a good person. Not everybody but majority. I rather date a former jump off then be with a future jump off, For a woman well. Idk what a woman thinks on that kinda thing
robdrm32 Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 It matters to me, your playing the odds. if a woman has been with 50 men, she may be a very good wife one day but i'd rather not take that chance. But that doesn't always mean a woman who's only been with 2 men would make a good wife, but i'd be more likely to take that bet. right now i'd say if a girl i'm getting involved with is under 30 and been with more than 5 men, she's not for me. Not that she is a bad person or anything, it just reflects a personality that i don't think i would mesh with.
Crazy Magnet Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I would not consider getting into an LTR with a man who had many sexual partners. All I could ever thing was "eeewwww what STI did you pick up along the way!?!" I also want to know that whatever man I am with is selective in sharing intimacy. My current SO admitted to having a random threesome and that knocked down my perception of him quite a bit. It still bothers me that he would ever consider doing that. To me, many partners or random/casual sex, regardless of gender, shows a general lack of respect for oneself. I don't have any female friends that pursue multiple sexual partners that I would put anywhere in the range of emotionally healthy so I tend to believe that either gender that pursues multiple partners would be a couple blocks off normal.
Mad Max Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 People that sleep around have low character. They also lack self-control and if they lack self-control in their sex lives, then they lack it in other areas of life as well. Promiscuous pasts will come back and bite you in the ass at some point. Own up to it and accept the consequences. Lying about it is even worse.
kalikula Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I wouldn't mind being with someone who has been a little promiscuous in the past, BUT who is clean and number not too high. I'm okay with them having had a number of relationships interspersed with some casual sex (But not too much). But guys that sleep with new girls every weekend, no thanks. If I found he had continued to be with people up and until we were official, that would be a MAJOR turnoff, enough to make me change my mind about him if I found out.
WowReally Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Does it affect how you look at someone your interested in? Assuming they dont have any STD's no Would you wanna even know? Why or why not? Yes - maybe not an exact # but I dont need an STD Would you feel insecure that maybe you couldnt offer something as good as someone else may have in the persons past? Even if they say your the best? No - if they keep coming back you know they like what you have to offer. If it's a wham bam then it is what it is and they better not have given me anything Do you use that as a reflection on the person? No (for girls) How would you feel if a guy you were attracted to been with many different people leading up to right before you two became official. And you heard about it from the grapevine and other women gave you negative feedback on the guy because of his promiscurity? What kind of negative feedback?
Sphere Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 This goes both ways for genders. I know guys that slept with over alot of women. And women that slept with alot of guys. Does it affect how you look at someone your interested in? Yes, it does affect how I look at someone. Would you wanna even know? Why or why not? I'd prefer it if they didn't tell me, why? Because its not something I want or need to know. Would you feel insecure that maybe you couldnt offer something as good as someone else may have in the persons past? Even if they say your the best? No, I wouldn't feel insecure, I'd just feel that I'm dating the town bike and women have said to me I'm fantastic at sex, yet they've never orgasmed with me and if they say they have they're lying. In truth women will tell you want they want you to hear, then they'll be totally blunt with their friends. Do you use that as a reflection on the person? Yes, a town bike is a town bike, there's no point painting the picture as anything else is there? (for guys) How would you feel if a very attractive woman slept with alot of guys at first sight but when it came to you. You were the lucky guy that was selected as someone she wanted to be in a relationship with and want to wait and not rush things? I wouldn't feel anything, I'd use her for sex and then throw her to the curb. What a woman says and does are two entirely different thing, once a town bike always a town bike.
Anela Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I do hate double standards, though. If a man sleeps around, or a woman sleeps around, then I don't see why they should have a problem with the opposite sex doing so.
VeveCakes Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 LMAO insecure much?? This is so shallow. Who cares how many people someone has slept with? It's not as though they are prostitutes here. If you figure someone becomes sexually active around 17-20 and does not have a serious relationship its safe to assume they could reasonably sleep with 2 people a year. Once their 30 thats 20+ people which sounds like a lot but sleeping with 2 people a year when you dont have year long relationships is no big deal. How does sleeping with mulitple partners make it any worse than having sex daily and doing crazy things when you are in a relationship. Yeah maybe you have a "connection" with that person, but sex can be just sex, no big deal. I would bet my life that all these guys saying it matters would change their mind in a heart beat if the girl was hot enough.
Mad Max Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 LMAO insecure much?? This is so shallow. Who cares how many people someone has slept with? It's not as though they are prostitutes here. If you figure someone becomes sexually active around 17-20 and does not have a serious relationship its safe to assume they could reasonably sleep with 2 people a year. Once their 30 thats 20+ people which sounds like a lot but sleeping with 2 people a year when you dont have year long relationships is no big deal. How does sleeping with mulitple partners make it any worse than having sex daily and doing crazy things when you are in a relationship. Yeah maybe you have a "connection" with that person, but sex can be just sex, no big deal. I would bet my life that all these guys saying it matters would change their mind in a heart beat if the girl was hot enough. No, it's called having standards. What kind of values is a promiscuous person going to teach your kids? And I don't care how hot she is. Promiscuous= no go. Someone that has casual sex for that long has no relationship skills.
carhill Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Situational example: ~50 partners in total, married a total of 25 years and three marriages. So, assuming fidelity within the marriages, that would leave 47 partners during the 10 years of being single past the age of 16, or 4.7 partners per year. Presume gender neutrality. Do those numbers in total affect how you look at a person? As a point of reference, my prior post presumed to accept the same standard applied. I would expect a compatible woman to look at my relationship and sexual history similarly. I'll welcome that
VeveCakes Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 No, it's called having standards. What kind of values is a promiscuous person going to teach your kids? And I don't care how hot she is. Promiscuous= no go. Someone that has casual sex for that long has no relationship skills. Well I was just giving an example, but a lot of different time spans and numbers can apply. So all of a sudden having had casual sex makes you an unfit parent with no morals, and no relationship skills? Thats a generalization and a half. You are pretty closed minded and probably missing out on a lot of amazing women.
Mad Max Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Well I was just giving an example, but a lot of different time spans and numbers can apply. So all of a sudden having had casual sex makes you an unfit parent with no morals, and no relationship skills? Thats a generalization and a half. You are pretty closed minded and probably missing out on a lot of amazing women. People that are careless with sex are careless in other areas. Amazing women don't sleep around. I'm not missing out on anything.
Recommended Posts