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I suddenly feel like I am getting the worst of two worlds...like I'm still a little bit OW and not a legitimate presence in his life and like I'm also his primary relationship whom he isn't being honest with.

 

I remember that feeling well. It is an awful, dismal place to be.

 

I went throguh similar issues. Long after he sepearted from his now xW, I had to hide my car in the garage and couldn't call him when he had his kids. Worse, last year he took his xW with him on the vacation that was supposed to just be him and the kids behind my back. He said that the kids wanted her to come, that he was too lazy to pack himself, and that he didn't want to not bring her because she was having such a hard time with the separation. He too, led her on long after the divorce because he was too afraid to hurt her by saying they were completely over forever. Stupid or not, I believe they weren't physical at all and he describes that trip as a horrible mistake. There were two other incidents almost as betraying after that. It was awful. I felt more like a BS than an OW, or even a regular girlfriend.

 

Have you met anyone in his family yet? Could that be one of his small steps?

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