shanemike88 Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I recently dated a girl who has a huge superiority complex. She recently graduated with a degree in nursing and I still have a year left before I get my degree in marketing. Well to her we broke up because "She didn't want to be the bread winner and that she wanted to be with somebody more on her level." So why are people men and women like this? Is it because immaturity? Self-esteem issues?
BeagleGal Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Beats the hell out of me. Maybe she's a bit narcissistic? My ex, who didnt go to college or university (he's taken some part-time courses but nothing came of it really) and he has this sense of entitlement and he cheated on me with a jr. lawyer who works at a prestigous law firm here in Toronto. They just marred in July, not only because she had gotten pregnant while he and I were still living together but I found out from a friend of his that this new girl "is just a wallet to him". So apparently, I was "too poor" for him and he needed someone who could provide him the lifestyle he feels he's entitled to. So although he hasn't gone to school for something that could provide him with a successful career and comfortable lifestyle, he still had this huge superiority complex and went around like he was the sh*t. And now is using this new girl for her money/status/image... In talking to my therapist about this (and other things my ex had done) he's convinced my ex has a personality disorder, most likely narcissism. Maybe not a full out, strict narcissist but he definitely displays narcissistic behavior.
Not the love ace Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Like Beagelgal said, it's most likely a self of entitlement and because of self esteem issues. For women I think its because they want a guy who can hold them down and be more powerful than them financially and socially. If they are with a man who is more on their playing field it brings them more security and more luxurious things I guess. Most women definitely loved to be pampered but then those women who just are gold digging. As for the men, they can be narcissistic and like to use women as their play thing or wallet like Beagel mentioned of her ex. Basically gold digging as well. Blah, who needs them though. Get your house in order, get a better life, better girlfriend and show her whose on top. When you're on top, I'm sure she'll be buying new knee pads to kiss your heiny.
BeagleGal Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Yeah, gold digging these days seems to be going both ways... Whatever. HAHA! I like that knee pads comment... Its true, once they see how successful we've become and realize we've always had potential to be on top, they start sniffing around us again. Like Beagelgal said, it's most likely a self of entitlement and because of self esteem issues. For women I think its because they want a guy who can hold them down and be more powerful than them financially and socially. If they are with a man who is more on their playing field it brings them more security and more luxurious things I guess. Most women definitely loved to be pampered but then those women who just are gold digging. As for the men, they can be narcissistic and like to use women as their play thing or wallet like Beagel mentioned of her ex. Basically gold digging as well. Blah, who needs them though. Get your house in order, get a better life, better girlfriend and show her whose on top. When you're on top, I'm sure she'll be buying new knee pads to kiss your heiny.
Not the love ace Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Yeah, gold digging these days seems to be going both ways... Whatever. HAHA! I like that knee pads comment... Its true, once they see how successful we've become and realize we've always had potential to be on top, they start sniffing around us again. Hahaha, thank you. It's true, I've experienced for myself and seen it lots of times through other friends and family. I was dumped by one girl a while back because my education just wasn't as high as her (academically but I would say we were equally as intelligent) and she did move on to a lot better and bigger things in life. However, now that I've gotten into shape and physically look better and carry myself in a lot more respectful ways and been making a little more money, she's been trying to get to hang with me again. The guy she's with has MUCH more money than I but I guess she's drawn to my new found confidence (so I've heard). Fortunately, I'm not having any from her and playing "hard to get". I don't think I'll ever get back or want to get back with her. Maybe have some bed action if the opportunity arises but I can't be with someone who wants to blatantly use me and mold me into what they want. Can't be with someone who's that shallow. It's a good feeling though to be wanted and desired by the person who once left you because you weren't "good enough". It's a lovely feeling.
BeagleGal Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Oh how pathetic on her. Its definitely your new found confidence and how you kinda just brush her off sorta speak. Good for you for not falling back to her. You dont need someone like her around when you're feeling really good about yourself. Honestly, does she really think you'd be so weak to be running back to her shallow ass*? Probably, which is why she's been trying to hang with you. Yeah shallowness is not a good trait to have. I mean, we all are shallow to some degree, I think. But in cases like hers or my ex's where its all materialistic/image/status/reputation - bullsh*t like that... I dont want any part of. It must be a good feeling! Have not had that opportunity yet for that POS of an ex to come sniffing so I can say: Oh hello, why don't you go f*ck off now... Ha! Hahaha, thank you. It's true, I've experienced for myself and seen it lots of times through other friends and family. I was dumped by one girl a while back because my education just wasn't as high as her (academically but I would say we were equally as intelligent) and she did move on to a lot better and bigger things in life. However, now that I've gotten into shape and physically look better and carry myself in a lot more respectful ways and been making a little more money, she's been trying to get to hang with me again. The guy she's with has MUCH more money than I but I guess she's drawn to my new found confidence (so I've heard). Fortunately, I'm not having any from her and playing "hard to get". I don't think I'll ever get back or want to get back with her. Maybe have some bed action if the opportunity arises but I can't be with someone who wants to blatantly use me and mold me into what they want. Can't be with someone who's that shallow. It's a good feeling though to be wanted and desired by the person who once left you because you weren't "good enough". It's a lovely feeling.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 I view someone like that as having bought into the box hook, line and sinker. She probably thinks education reflects everything and that success in it means automatic assertiveness and superiority. To me it can mean mere acquiescence to authority and defacto assumption of it. It's an illusion which many people come to have mid-life crises over. They don't get it that all that institutionally conferred bravado has also mandated lack of social connection. All of a sudden it's: "where have I been all my life?" Answer: running around inside a repressive illusion of superiority. It's not universal however. Some folks just come out of education with the wrong message. Education is not the only indicator of a person's worth.
Not the love ace Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Oh how pathetic on her. Its definitely your new found confidence and how you kinda just brush her off sorta speak. Good for you for not falling back to her. You dont need someone like her around when you're feeling really good about yourself. Honestly, does she really think you'd be so weak to be running back to her shallow ass*? Probably, which is why she's been trying to hang with you. Yeah shallowness is not a good trait to have. I mean, we all are shallow to some degree, I think. But in cases like hers or my ex's where its all materialistic/image/status/reputation - bullsh*t like that... I dont want any part of. It must be a good feeling! Have not had that opportunity yet for that POS of an ex to come sniffing so I can say: Oh hello, why don't you go f*ck off now... Ha! I hope you get the chance one day, if not I just hope you find, trip, bump or fall into someone or someone into you-that's meant for you and have a good long lasting relationship. The best thing over getting over someone is making improvements in your life in any aspect that is needed. Whether its physically, socially, financially, etc. Overall, I don't think I would even sleep with this girl. Just like she made me suffer, I'll just make her wish she could have me. I never thought I'd be able to get back at someone who's treated me wrong like this and if its anyone that deserves it-its her. CHEERS!
Not the love ace Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 I view someone like that as having bought into the box hook, line and sinker. She probably thinks education reflects everything and that success in it means automatic assertiveness and superiority. To me it can mean mere acquiescence to authority and defacto assumption of it. It's an illusion which many people come to have mid-life crises over. They don't get it that all that institutionally conferred bravado has also mandated lack of social connection. All of a sudden it's: "where have I been all my life?" Answer: running around inside a repressive illusion of superiority. It's not universal however. Some folks just come out of education with the wrong message. Education is not the only indicator of a person's worth. Very well said. Concur to the fullest.
jamesum Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 (edited) Beats the hell out of me. Maybe she's a bit narcissistic? My ex, who didnt go to college or university (he's taken some part-time courses but nothing came of it really) and he has this sense of entitlement and he cheated on me with a jr. lawyer who works at a prestigous law firm here in Toronto. They just marred in July, not only because she had gotten pregnant while he and I were still living together but I found out from a friend of his that this new girl "is just a wallet to him". So apparently, I was "too poor" for him and he needed someone who could provide him the lifestyle he feels he's entitled to. So although he hasn't gone to school for something that could provide him with a successful career and comfortable lifestyle, he still had this huge superiority complex and went around like he was the sh*t. And now is using this new girl for her money/status/image... In talking to my therapist about this (and other things my ex had done) he's convinced my ex has a personality disorder, most likely narcissism. Maybe not a full out, strict narcissist but he definitely displays narcissistic behavior. Is your ex a hot guy? Attractiveness is the most powerful trait. I have seen men and women throw everything they have just to keep a hot partner. For me such a relationship is nothing more than prostitution. Your ex is one of those male whores. Like Beagelgal said, it's most likely a self of entitlement and because of self esteem issues. For women I think its because they want a guy who can hold them down and be more powerful than them financially and socially. If they are with a man who is more on their playing field it brings them more security and more luxurious things I guess. Thats just an excuse for being lazy. I look down on women or men who marry into money and hide behind financial security bullcrap. Edited September 11, 2010 by jamesum
Not the love ace Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Thats just an excuse for being lazy. I look down on women or men who marry into money and hide behind financial security bullcrap. Absolutely. I don't see whats wrong with a woman making more money than her man and having a little bit more power financially. As long as there's equality than I don't see whats wrong with that. I know a couple right now where the lady makes more money than her man and put most her money in for his car and is paying for his school!! Which is totally cool because they have a great relationship with each other. Though I say the same for men, it's more of a shame specifically for me when I see women who prefer to be with a man who has more money than them so they can be pampered. It's not totally a bad thing but I feel like women are more than capable of holding their own and being independent. As a man I prefer to be the one that pays for everything just because I like to do that and that's how I was raised by my mother to be a gentlemen. However, I'm open to being with a lady who wouldn't mind paying for our bill at dinner. Though that would be totally weird for me, but I would never use a lady financially-I just wouldn't feel bad if she mad more money than me.
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