UBFeelinMe Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 A lot of girls I have found try to dictate the rules of engagement (where to go, what to eat, what movie to see, friends coming along or not, etc.) , and in my experience it makes me feel less manly and the dates tend to go nowhere. Is it better to try to take total or most of the control over the direction of a date, particularly when you are the one initiating it.
callingyouuu Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 A lot of girls I have found try to dictate the rules of engagement (where to go, what to eat, what movie to see, friends coming along or not, etc.) , and in my experience it makes me feel less manly and the dates tend to go nowhere. Is it better to try to take total or most of the control over the direction of a date, particularly when you are the one initiating it. In my experience, yes. Unless if she's the one asking me out, I take the first few dates as my responsibility. Even if it doesn't work out perfectly, I just feel that it makes a better impression and we both end up having more fun in the end.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 A man in this position should probably face whether or not he is basically submissive or someone who values submissiveness in his love interest. If for instance I am asking someone out, I'm the man with the plan. I don't want to appear adrift and unsure. And I sure don't want any woman I ask out to think she can dictate terms to me. If she asks me to do something she wants on the second or third date or w/e, she's the one asserting leadership and that's fine. But as long as I'm the one who moves first, I'm not asking what we should do--I'm asking if she would like to join me having some recreation I have chosen. In the more infrequent situation where the woman asks me to take her out as the first move, I would expect that she has thought about what we would be doing to make it a date. If she just says come over and hang out I'd probably feel that she is being presumptuous because we haven't even broken the ice of new familiarity.
phineas Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Make it clear you are asking her out on a date & have an idea on what you want to do. On the questions you had. (where to go, what to eat, what movie to see, friends coming along or not, etc. All are negotiable. I don't micromanage to the point of deciding dinner. I'd never ask a woman I didn't already know to a movie. You can't figure out if you like a woman if you can't talk to her. And you can't in a movie. As for friends coming along? Deal breaker. If I am asking for a date & she wants to bring a friend they can go & have themselves a good time. A woman that is interested in me won't want a third wheel tagging along. Basically I know what I want when asking a woman out. I'm old enough to realize if she doesn't give that to me from the start (i'm not talking about sex either) i'm just wasting my time & money.
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