pandagirl Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I've realized that though I still love my ex, it's probably for the best that we broke up. I wrote down a list of positive and negative traits of him. Positive: -Strong and patient and caring -Accepted me as I was -Was a rock when I went through my depression -Never once made me feel bad about my herpes -Fun/Funny/We just clicked -Intelligent, ambitious, bright Negative: -He always prioritized himself over our relationship -He prioritized work over our relationship -He is obsessed with his work -He is not communicative -Emotionally unaware -He only wants it his way -Not very willing to compromise -Would yell when angry Now, the positives are good, but the a lot of those negatives are deal breakers for a long-term relationship. And the thing is, I don't know if he will ever change, because his dad is exactly the same way. His dad is a total workaholic -- a nice man -- but difficult. And guess what? My ex always said he doesn't want to be like him. His dad LOVES working, and though my ex denies it, he does, too. Growing up, his dad was never around, because he traveled a lot for work. I know that must've put a strain on his parents marriage. They are divorced. I don't want an absent father/husband. I don't know what kind of woman he will end up with. He says I was his perfect woman, because I am caring and nurturing, but also ambitious, intelligent and career-driven. But guess what? No woman of any value will accept being second fiddle to their man's career. No one wants to be ignored. He is going to have a hard time finding a women who is willing to put up with his tendencies. I am sad because I do love him and our time together was always wonderful. But my mourning comes from all of our missed moments that we never had. Maybe we could've been together for a long time, but his negative traits do not make for a good life partner, to raise a family, etc. I want someone who won't put off our visits because of deadlines. Who works through the night. I need my boyfriend to be there for me, instead of in front of a computer or sleeping. My friends tell me I have the biggest heart of anyone they know. I am extremely giving, compassionate, caring and sacrificing. I need someone who will do the same for me, as I would for them.
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