just saw my ex....can't stop crying

[shadowplay]

I finally reached him and we met downtown so he could give me the check. Of course he came on a bike so he could make a quick get away. The only thing I said to him is "will you ever speak to me again," and he said, "no, I won't," and rode off.

[skydiveaddict]

I'm sorry you had to see him shaodow. I don't think I would have been able to do it

 

I'm sorry you're hurting so much, but you will make it through

[Green]

I finally reached him and we met downtown so he could give me the check. Of course he came on a bike so he could make a quick get away. The only thing I said to him is "will you ever speak to me again," and he said, "no, I won't," and rode off.

 

damn so you got him to give you the check eh. Was it with that thing I told you to do.

 

K well I know its sad but its for the best you don't need him in your life.

[ShannonMI]

I finally reached him and we met downtown so he could give me the check. Of course he came on a bike so he could make a quick get away. The only thing I said to him is "will you ever speak to me again," and he said, "no, I won't," and rode off.

Aw I'm so sorry you're hurting. Why would he say such a cold hearted thing? What a jerk. I'm so sorry. You're better off without him.

[shadowplay]

I'm glad I got my money back, but all I can focus on is the pain of what he said. It's so disturbing to me that someone I was so close to will never let me speak to them again, especially when I did nothing to precipitate that.

[tigressA]

Honestly, you should be trying to see the good in this, Shadow. You don't need to be speaking to or seeing him at all anymore, especially now that you got the money from him. In my opinion he said the right thing. At least he won't be jerking you around with sporadic contact or anything. Why shouldn't he make a quick getaway? You're broken up; why should he stick around to do anything more than fulfill his end of the bargain by giving you that check?

[shadowplay]

Honestly, you should be trying to see the good in this, Shadow. You don't need to be speaking to or seeing him at all anymore, especially now that you got the money from him. In my opinion he said the right thing. At least he won't be jerking you around with sporadic contact or anything. Why shouldn't he make a quick getaway? You're broken up; why should he stick around to do anything more than fulfill his end of the bargain by giving you that check?

 

OK, this isn't making me feel any better. What he said was still cold-hearted.

[ShannonMI]

I'm glad I got my money back, but all I can focus on is the pain of what he said. It's so disturbing to me that someone I was so close to will never let me speak to them again, especially when I did nothing to precipitate that.

What the hell is his problem then? Horrible. I feel so bad for you. I know the pain you feel. My ex used to love me so much and he would tell e all the time. Now I know he feels ZERO love for me. How do people change their feelings so much when you've done nothing wrong? I don't get it. He betrayed me and lied to me, but I still have love for him. How can he not love me when I was such a good girlfriend to him and I did nothing wrong? It makes no sense to me at all. Hang in there Shadow.

[ShannonMI]

Honestly, you should be trying to see the good in this, Shadow. You don't need to be speaking to or seeing him at all anymore, especially now that you got the money from him. In my opinion he said the right thing. At least he won't be jerking you around with sporadic contact or anything. Why shouldn't he make a quick getaway? You're broken up; why should he stick around to do anything more than fulfill his end of the bargain by giving you that check?

I agree with this to a certain extent. There was no need for your ex to be so rude to you, though. He could have said any number of things that wouldn't have made you feel like he was jerking you around. Saying he would never speak to you again was incredibly rude.

[Nappeal]

Shadow, I get what Tigress was saying, I hope you do too.

 

Regardless, how callous of him. Even more so when you know you've done nothing wrong.

 

I'm sorry cuz I know it hurts, but take this in 'angry form'...let this be what really pisses you off enough to say fk him. Sure, he's being honest w you, and that you should be thankful for, but its just not right to be like that to someone who meant so much to you. Why no decensy on his end? No consideration? Move on to tomorrow hun, itll get better.

[tigressA]

OK, this isn't making me feel any better. What he said was still cold-hearted.

 

It isn't making you feel any better but I think deep down you know it's true. This is exactly the kind of stuff that most people here tried to tell you about in your initial coping thread, and all your other threads about this jerkwad. Why waste any more time being so bummed out over something he said? It doesn't make sense to me. The two of you never speaking to each other again is really for the best, considering all that's happened.

[threebyfate]

Of course he came on a bike trike so he could make a quick get away.

Fixed it for you!

 

Good. Now he's gone. Tigress put it perfectly.

 

Make sure you cash that cheque as soon as possible and don't spend it for around a week to ensure it doesn't bounce.

[shadowplay]

It isn't making you feel any better but I think deep down you know it's true. This is exactly the kind of stuff that most people here tried to tell you about in your initial coping thread, and all your other threads about this jerkwad. Why waste any more time being so bummed out over something he said? It doesn't make sense to me. The two of you never speaking to each other again is really for the best, considering all that's happened.

 

I know it's better for us never to speak again, but somehow knowing I don't have that option hurts on a deep level. I'd rather it be a personal choice, you know?

[Star Gazer]

I know it's better for us never to speak again, but somehow knowing I don't have that option hurts on a deep level. I'd rather it be a personal choice, you know?

 

You want the power. But you already have it - if YOU make the decision that YOU don't want to hear from him again. Tigress is right. In even thinking about him, let alone still crying over him, you're wasting energy that can and should be focused elsewhere, namely on yourself.

 

In even getting upset about this, you're relinquishing the power over your emotional state to someone else. You'll neve ever ever find happiness if you don't realize that YOU control your thoughts and take steps to control your own happiness.

[tigressA]

I know it's better for us never to speak again, but somehow knowing I don't have that option hurts on a deep level. I'd rather it be a personal choice, you know?

 

I understand how you feel here. It's like not getting to have the last word. It sucks, but you just have to try and focus on what you can control.

[alphamale]

aww, there there shadowplay, hugs and kisses

[shadowplay]

ugh, what the eff is wrong with me. I just did something incredibly impulsive, and logged into his OKCupid account. I knew his password because he told it to me awhile ago (he has the same password for everything). Since we broke up I'd have the impulse here and there to log in under his name, but always resisted. Anyway, I just read an im conversation he had with his female roommate, and it left me feeling ****ty because I came up. Then I logged off.

 

Apparently I'm a joke between him and his friends:

 

(10:33:21 pm)Her:btw i dumped S last night

(10:33:22 pm)him:thats awesome!

(10:33:26 pm)him:awwwww

(10:33:28 pm)him:sorry dude

(10:33:30 pm)her:he didn't really seem to "get it"

(10:33:39 pm)him:yeah, thats a bummer

(10:33:39 pm)her:he thinks we are still an item

(10:33:46 pm)him: ohhhhhhh

(10:33:48 pm)him:god damn

(10:33:54 pm)him:thats unfortunate

(10:33:57 pm)her:thats some Shadow sh$t right there

(10:34:00 pm)her:unfourtnate for him

(10:34:03 pm)him:yeeeeeah

(10:34:05 pm)him:well

(10:34:06 pm)her:if he comes around i'll call the cops

(10:34:08 pm)her:i don't give a fck

(10:34:10 pm)him:hopefully he gets the message

(10:34:11 pm)him:fck yeah!

(10:34:27 pm)him:dude

 

I can't believe how incredibly stupid it was for me to read that. And I've been doing so well in getting over him recently.

[pandagirl]

Shadow, your ex is a piece of crap. For real.

[shadowplay]

Shadow, your ex is a piece of crap. For real.

 

Why do you say that? I mean I know he is, I just like hearing other people give the reasons.

[pandagirl]

Why do you say that? I mean I know he is, I just like hearing other people give the reasons.

 

Just by the way he treats people. No compassion. It's an important human trait.

[shadowplay]

Just by the way he treats people. No compassion. It's an important human trait.

 

I agree, but I've come to the conclusion that most people lack compassion deep down, in that they might be nice on the surface, but will become selfish when anything is at stake. You don't really know where someone's goodness ends until you've known them for a long time, and witnessed how they act under duress.

 

There are definitely exceptions (I know a few), and when you meet one of those genuinely good people you hold on to them.

Edited September 9, 2010 by shadowplay

[pandagirl]

posted this in the wrong thread!

[pandagirl]

wtf, why can't i start a new thread!

Edited September 9, 2010 by pandagirl

[shadowplay]

wtf, why can't i start a new thread!

 

ha, I'm sorry panda. hope you figure it out.

[shadowplay]

And you know what the remarkable thing is, of all my exes (including my emotionally dead ex ex), this one turned out to be the biggest asshat of all them in how he treated me during and after the breakup.