Livelovelearn Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 So my ex cheated on me couple months ago, we hadnt talked for about 4 months. Recently we got back into contact, we met up,everything was nice. He did bring up the relationship,we talked about it however he denied the cheating part and said the OW was a weirdo. Being dumb, i decided to be friends. Well We started talking in August. Yesterday the OW tells me he contacted her & asked to see her he stated they werent done with eachother. I was pissed!!!! how could he? So yes i admit i tried to be friends with him even though i still had feelings for him which i see is wrong now!!!! And the OW told him that she knows he talks to me (and he told her he didnt, he told her i was crazy) so today he sent me a message saying to never talk to him or call him again for as long as i live. Here is a man i loved for 3 years , did everything for him, never asked him for anything , speaking such harsh words. And today i feel that gave me the strength i need to stop hoping for any kind of relationship with this man. He cannot be my boyfriend and we can never be friends, ever. I will live by his words Key message to everyone is: if someone cheats on you and denies it, run away!!! Because they will do it again. He reached out to the OW knowing things were fine with us, I wonder what his intentions were but either why this is definitely a bad idea! If you are in this situation, move on and go find better you all deserve it!
BeagleGal Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 A fellow Torontonian! Holla! I agree. My ex cheated on me, kept in contact with me after he dumped me for OW and getting her pregnant while with me (they just got married in July, baby will be born next month) and thought he could pull the "friend" card with me. Wasn't happening. His betrayal was beyond anything I've ever experienced in my life. He denied everything when a coworker told me the truth about why he left me and why he had me out of the house so soon. When I confronted him: deny, deny, lie, lie. Last contact I heard from him was about 2 months ago when he called me on a Sat night at 4am. I sent him one drunk text after that about him breaking my heart (he didnt respond) and then another on his wedding day, the morning I left for Cuba (planned it so I didnt have to be in Toronto day of his wedding) and wished him the best. I actually really don't but wanted him to know that despite all his efforts in trying to hide all this from me, I knew what was going on... Your ex's intentions sound like he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Like mine. Even his own friend confirmed to me that my ex wants (wanted to) have an affair with me. So my ex cheated on me couple months ago, we hadnt talked for about 4 months. Recently we got back into contact, we met up,everything was nice. He did bring up the relationship,we talked about it however he denied the cheating part and said the OW was a weirdo. Being dumb, i decided to be friends. Well We started talking in August. Yesterday the OW tells me he contacted her & asked to see her he stated they werent done with eachother. I was pissed!!!! how could he? So yes i admit i tried to be friends with him even though i still had feelings for him which i see is wrong now!!!! And the OW told him that she knows he talks to me (and he told her he didnt, he told her i was crazy) so today he sent me a message saying to never talk to him or call him again for as long as i live. Here is a man i loved for 3 years , did everything for him, never asked him for anything , speaking such harsh words. And today i feel that gave me the strength i need to stop hoping for any kind of relationship with this man. He cannot be my boyfriend and we can never be friends, ever. I will live by his words Key message to everyone is: if someone cheats on you and denies it, run away!!! Because they will do it again. He reached out to the OW knowing things were fine with us, I wonder what his intentions were but either why this is definitely a bad idea! If you are in this situation, move on and go find better you all deserve it!
Author Livelovelearn Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 A fellow Torontonian! Holla! I agree. My ex cheated on me, kept in contact with me after he dumped me for OW and getting her pregnant while with me (they just got married in July, baby will be born next month) and thought he could pull the "friend" card with me. Wasn't happening. His betrayal was beyond anything I've ever experienced in my life. He denied everything when a coworker told me the truth about why he left me and why he had me out of the house so soon. When I confronted him: deny, deny, lie, lie. Last contact I heard from him was about 2 months ago when he called me on a Sat night at 4am. I sent him one drunk text after that about him breaking my heart (he didnt respond) and then another on his wedding day, the morning I left for Cuba (planned it so I didnt have to be in Toronto day of his wedding) and wished him the best. I actually really don't but wanted him to know that despite all his efforts in trying to hide all this from me, I knew what was going on... Your ex's intentions sound like he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Like mine. Even his own friend confirmed to me that my ex wants (wanted to) have an affair with me. Hey BG, crappy weather in Toronto huh? Lol. Sorry to hear about the ex situation I know how hard it is to deal with that betrayal from the person you loved the most and least expected it from. It must be hard to know he is still with the OW but look at it like this sista, you dodged a bullet. If he cheated on you with her, he is bound to do it to her and whats worse is they are married!! Its a shame for her but atleast you are free. I have been no contact before with my ex for four months and that enabled me to date around and find a great guy! I sent some messages to my ex today and stated my side i let him know he hurt me and i let him know that he is a cheater and i will live by his words but i did wish him well in life regardless. Yes they definitely want to have their cake and eat it. I certainly hope you are doing way better without him anyway!
BeagleGal Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Hey - augh. Yeah super crappy. Booo.... Thanks. Its very hard. If anyone ever told me I'd be in this situation now, I wouldn't have believed it. Yeah, its hard knowing they're still together but what "out" does he have? The girl got pregnant almost immediately after they hooked up. So may be she had her own agenda as well by wanting to trap him. His friend texted me a week before wedding to tell me that this new girl is "just a wallet to him" and that he and my ex aren't close anymore b/c friend doesn't respect my ex's decisions to use people to elevate himself financially. Sheesh. That's what people say that he will do to her what he did to me. I have anger towards her because she knew he was with me but at the same time i almost feel sorry for her for having married an assh*le who will be the father of her child. But yes, I do see I have been spared a lifetime of misery but this all is still a hard pill to swallow. Since my wedding day text to him, I've been NC as well. He's been NC with me since long weekend of July when he last texted/called. And he just vanished... so... whatever. I'm doing better than I was a few months ago so that's good! It sounds like you're doing well yourself and I'm glad to see you're living your life and not wallowing at home because of your ex's sorry ass. Hey BG, crappy weather in Toronto huh? Lol. Sorry to hear about the ex situation I know how hard it is to deal with that betrayal from the person you loved the most and least expected it from. It must be hard to know he is still with the OW but look at it like this sista, you dodged a bullet. If he cheated on you with her, he is bound to do it to her and whats worse is they are married!! Its a shame for her but atleast you are free. I have been no contact before with my ex for four months and that enabled me to date around and find a great guy! I sent some messages to my ex today and stated my side i let him know he hurt me and i let him know that he is a cheater and i will live by his words but i did wish him well in life regardless. Yes they definitely want to have their cake and eat it. I certainly hope you are doing way better without him anyway!
PixieStix Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Well cheaters are cheaters and I have no room for them in my life!
BeagleGal Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I totally agree. I continue on the path to progress as I have been and try to not let the birth of his new baby bother me, but I can't help it. Its just a reminder of his betrayal. Well cheaters are cheaters and I have no room for them in my life!
Fouts Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I think the key message is that when an relationship runs it's course, it's best to move on and not look back, cheater or not. Always move forward in life, not backward. It seems to work out better that way in the end.
BeagleGal Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I agree. I try not to look back, I try not to ask the "what ifs" or the "coulda woulda shouldas"... its hard though when you have others talking about him and alerting you to his life now. I dont ask about my ex, dont care to know what's going on with him now - like I said, its all just a reminder of what he's done to me. And I think when I do hear about him, that kinda pushes me back a bit. Its taking me a while to get to where I am now and believe me, I'm doing better than I have in months but its still difficult. He just got married over a month ago and now his baby is being born next month... I dont know... I think the key message is that when an relationship runs it's course, it's best to move on and not look back, cheater or not. Always move forward in life, not backward. It seems to work out better that way in the end.
BeagleGal Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Ha! I think she meant everyone in general, not just men who are cheaters. I know there are women cheaters out there! So what is your advise then, GH? so say all women. never take advice from a women.
Author Livelovelearn Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 I agree with pixie..cheaters are like poison, and why would someone just want to continue with poison on their life... BeagleGal, your a strong woman, the very fact that you are still here living your life shows us that. I have known some people who do things to hurt themselves because they cannot handle relationship problems in their life. You are a very strong woman so keep your head up! And of course you cant help but think about it, he was someone dear to you but unfortunately he didnt see the wonderful woman that he had. His loss! Fouts, its true its good to not look back but there are the rare cases where time has passes, wounds have healed and exes reconnect (of course i am not holding onto that hope lol) it is possible for others but for the most part you are right. and GH SMITH when i made this post i was sure to make sure i didnt put he or she...i put cheater so that there is no biases i read the posts here and i see that women can be just as evil as men. so gender is not the issue here, cheating is! For all of you who have been cheated on, its hard to cope with but keep your head up, days will get better, and you will be better.
PixieStix Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 so say all women. never take advice from a women. LOL sounds like he may have been caught cheating or a woman did him in.
paleblue Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 i have said it before and i will say it again.. once someone disrespects you once.. they will keep doing it if you let them in. cut and run.
BeagleGal Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Aww, thank you Livelovelearn... I can assure you it has not been easy in the least but I've done what I could and can do in terms of moving forward. Its encouraging to hear people tell me I'm strong as I cannot see my own strength for myself. I just see it as "doing what I can to get through the day". But yes, all I can do is keep my head up high, not let anyone know how I am really feeling (esp at work) and just try to stay positive. So thank you for saying that. I agree, his loss. He obviously didn't deserve me in the first place. And I agree, again, we will get better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel! I agree with pixie..cheaters are like poison, and why would someone just want to continue with poison on their life... BeagleGal, your a strong woman, the very fact that you are still here living your life shows us that. I have known some people who do things to hurt themselves because they cannot handle relationship problems in their life. You are a very strong woman so keep your head up! And of course you cant help but think about it, he was someone dear to you but unfortunately he didnt see the wonderful woman that he had. His loss! Fouts, its true its good to not look back but there are the rare cases where time has passes, wounds have healed and exes reconnect (of course i am not holding onto that hope lol) it is possible for others but for the most part you are right. and GH SMITH when i made this post i was sure to make sure i didnt put he or she...i put cheater so that there is no biases i read the posts here and i see that women can be just as evil as men. so gender is not the issue here, cheating is! For all of you who have been cheated on, its hard to cope with but keep your head up, days will get better, and you will be better.
PixieStix Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I totally agree. I continue on the path to progress as I have been and try to not let the birth of his new baby bother me, but I can't help it. Its just a reminder of his betrayal. Sounds like you are doing great and are headed in the right direction for sure!
BeagleGal Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Oooh thanks, PixieStix... I'm really trying hard to stay on the right path to healing. Its not easy but trust me, I am really trying! Sounds like you are doing great and are headed in the right direction for sure!
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