saph Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Hi everyone, and i hope that lots of you guys see this and give me some sort of insight on this dilema. I got engaged 2 weeks before my birthday, and my fiancee and i have been together 2 years and plan on getting married in april of 2012. the thing that concerns me that he is sexually flirting with other women and looking at their pictures, or talking to them on the phone, and he is telling me that I am the love of his life. This is both of ours third marriage, and i finally thought i had found the true love that i had searched for. But knowing that he is doing this and looking at other women, I feel that he is cheating when he wants them to come to iowa and have sex, or whatever else his explicit conversations deal with. He is a truck driver as well as a farmer, but i am so pissed about the situation and when i confronted him about it he got pissed and says im blowing everything out of proportion and that i have to deal with and he says that he has always been that way. In the first part of our dating he deleted every account he had on websites, and now this. I told him i'm not going to stand for this behavior and has to make a choice either keep the sexual flirtations or me. He says he wants me, but what can i do to help him get away from the explicit eploytations that he is doing, and he knows it hurts me, and yet he says he still cares about me. I just don't know what to do. Any advice or a help line for him would be greatly appreciated. When i seen the tweets, i got sick to my stomach.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Geez. I feel for ya. I'm afraid the answers are going to be sobering. Obviously there's a reason he and you have been married multiple times before. Perhaps this time you're finding out the wedge issue before you take the plunge. I'm not one to "judge and instruct" but there seems to be a rather fatal incompatibility there. It must be tough. If I were to have a gun pointed at me for an answer I have to say you've discovered a deal-breaker. Sorry. J
PegNosePete Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 I told him i'm not going to stand for this behavior and has to make a choice either keep the sexual flirtations or me. He says he wants me, but what can i do to help him get away from the explicit eploytations that he is doing You've done the right thing so far. Tell him it is not acceptable. Set the boundary. Now the ball is in his court. He knows what you said and he knows the consequences of carrying on with the unacceptable behaviour. If he carries on regardless, you have to follow through and get rid of him. If you tell him something is unacceptable but then just let him get away with it anyway, you're setting yourself up for disaster later on.
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