pandagirl Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 I realized that whenever I get really sad and start crying, it's more about the circumstances of our relationship/breakup rather than the actual breakup. It's like, I can accept that sometimes relationships don't work. People are resilient and I am a strong person and will be just fine with some time. But what I tear myself up over is just how it seems so unfair. I'm 32. I've waited so long and done all the right things in my life. I've always taken care of myself first. I'm successful and a really good person. And I met this guy, and we fell in love, and then he had to move away. So many things happened along the way in our relatively short 10 month relationship. I was out of a job, he lost his job, he moved twice and got a new job. I'm still struggling with career stuff and finding more work, while he is overworked and underpaid. I went through a two month depressive episode that was trying on our relationship though I took care of myself. Our last two visits, I had herpes outbreaks, so I can't even remember the last time we made love. I don't know. It's like I can't believe that all these things happened. It's like I know all relationships go through problems and hardships and you get through them. But for whatever reason, we couldn't. Maybe we didn't have a solid enough foundation to start with. Maybe we were naive. I don't know. But I feel so, so cheated from this experience with him. When I thought about our future, it was never kids or marriage, it was just: we can have dinner together. We'll fall asleep together. We'll go see a movie together. Just anything... together. And I want to yell and scream: "WHY DID YOU EVER HAVE TO LEAVE???!!!"
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