whatadeer26 Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 I remember 3 months ago I had just been told she wants a "Break". I did everything in my power to try to get her to come back. Beg, Plead, Cry....ETC. I lost my selfrespect and dignity. My ego was at 0%. I thought I was worthless. Then I stumbled upon this site read and posted my story. Came across No Contact and thought "could this really help me?" At first I struggled with it, but about a month ago I cut all contact and began my healing process 100%. In the 3 months I followed what my fellow LS told me. BETTER MYSELF. I hit the Gym hard, changed my diet, studied more for classes. NC is not a way to get a second chance and you should not use it as such. It is meant to heal and heal I did. I bettered myself. This Sunday I ran into my ex at a club. I was enjoying life, women hanging all over me, dancing with me. I was looking HOT (HAHA). She looked great herself, I'll admit that, but I didn't feel the need or hurt I thought I would have. I waved and went on doing me. She approached me asked how could I just not answer her text to which I replied, "Because I didn't want to". Long story short she wanted to work on us try again. I told her if she is serious we can meet this week and talk. Figuring she was just drunk and wouldn't follow up. She did and we are meeting up tomorrow. What I need help with is question I should need answered to help gauge if she honestly wants to work on us. -What are her intentions for meeting up -Is she dating anyone? If so, that needs to stop. -Obviously speak about what led to the break Anything else?
Billie The Puppet Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Asking her if she is or has dated someone since you is something I'd keep out of conversation because it's a sign of insecurity. This thread makes me somewhat feel better about my situation but I've got to realize it's false hope. BTW whose second chance is it? Yours or hers think highly about yourself and question if you really want to try again.
Rellek Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 If you do this... you HAVE to address what went wrong the first time and make sure it is corrected. Whether it was you or her.... there has to be changes or you'll fall into the same problems you did the first time.
Author whatadeer26 Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 What you said is very true. I have had my doubts about wether I want to even try again after coming so far. I am afraid that things won't change, but I know for damn sure I am not taking any crap. If I have my doubts about the situation at all I am cutting her off. The love I had was real I am just not sure it was for her. I will be more aware of the signs this time and nip that crap in the bud. After being on this site I have not seen any second chance stories work, so I am not going into this optimistic. I am going in will full riot gear on. My post was intended to help other just starting out or still having trouble moving on concentrate on themselves. Does it give some false hope? In rereading what I wrote yes. But my intention was to help show others that they must make themselves better and follow NC. If it is meant to be it will be.
boosh Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 What you said is very true. I have had my doubts about wether I want to even try again after coming so far. I am afraid that things won't change, but I know for damn sure I am not taking any crap. If I have my doubts about the situation at all I am cutting her off. The love I had was real I am just not sure it was for her. I will be more aware of the signs this time and nip that crap in the bud. After being on this site I have not seen any second chance stories work, so I am not going into this optimistic. I am going in will full riot gear on. My post was intended to help other just starting out or still having trouble moving on concentrate on themselves. Does it give some false hope? In rereading what I wrote yes. But my intention was to help show others that they must make themselves better and follow NC. If it is meant to be it will be. It doesn't come off as giving false hope too be honest, as every situation is unique to the people it involves. Would I like for this to happen to me and my current ex? Of course I would, but I'm not going around thinking it will just because it worked for someone else. It's definitely a goo starting point for those who really have no idea how to move forward with their lives post-break up and that the things they do afterwards to better themselves should be exactly that, to better themselves. If the ex takes notice to it, that's great, if not, no big deal, as you should be focusing on yourself anyways. As for not seeing any second chance success stories, I think that people more often than not only visit here during trying times. While there are definitely some posters who have been here for ages and are here regardless of their mental state, a vast majority of the people sign up, vent, get advice and never return. I think that is partially why you don't see any success stories like that personally.
Banega100 Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 we've got to recognise that this is 1 instance in a 100 where the woman has come back like this. And whilst this is gonna give a whole lot of false hope to many people, it's important to recognise that a) this is a rare case, and b) the poster has done an awful lot of work on himself, to the extent where he no longer felt that he needed her. so keep your feet on the ground guys.
Author whatadeer26 Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 Most importantly I didn't let my life stop because she dumped me. I was just as bad as anyone on this forum and I am posting this to Stress the need to work on yourself and stay NC. I never used it to try to get her back. I ran into her by chance or I would still be in NC had we not. Trust me in time you will get better. I feel that even if we do not work out or we go back to the same stuff as 3 months ago. I will be prepared and ready. We must learn from every situation we encounter in our lives. Good or Bad. It shapes us into who we are.
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