Cee Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 I've been dating a lot and looking for a relationship. I'm not looking for the one or marriage, but a decent relationship that lasts for a few months or longer. In my late 20s I had a great love. And I was truly optimistic that love would happen again. But I have had many dates that don't lead anywhere. Most of my single friends who are my age (I'm 40) aren't successful either even though they are attractive, talented, and lead full lives. I don't have any role models for dating success right now. Are there any LS-ers who are 35+ and have been successful in meeting a mate. Should I approach dating differently since I am older? I think I need to hear success stories. I need dating mentors. If anybody could help, that would be great. If you are younger than me, feel free to weigh in too. I have gotten discouraged. Help.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Hi Cee I've posted this more than one time on other fora. I am past 50 and I have found a new love. I did not think I possibly could. My marriage ended horribly, but we had been very close and deeply in love with a good relationship for many years. I tended to compare my feelings for men I met with those I'd had for my ex. Nothing compared. I felt incapable of really getting intimate (emotionally and physically) with a new person. Also, I don't feel drawn to many men in general; never have. Only a rare few "spark" me in that way. Anyway, what I did was I just kept on dating. Not continuously. Sometimes I could not stand the thought and took a break. Then I'd get halfway interested and dabble again. My investment in the whole process was not great. This guy - believe it or not, I was halfway there when I looked at his pictures (online dating site). No, he is not "hot" and he is also not my usual type. Worse, he smokes, which would have been an absolute deal breaker. But he had the most mischievous and sort of wise look in his eyes, and a wry grin ... it turned out I was right. We've been together since June of 09. So there is hope! Don't give up, and take it easy. That's all!
desertIslandCactus Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 A very nice success story Mme. .. and on-line at that. Cee, remember it only takes one - the right one.
Author Cee Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 Thanks Mme. Chaucer I can relate to comparing my dates to my last great love. Sometimes I think it's harder dating at 40 because I know how good a relationship can be. I think dabbling is the best approach. Online dating exhausts me. Congrats on being able to look past a deal breaker (smoking) and discovering a great love.
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