Damien Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 (edited) Hey everyone, kinda new here..so please bear with me. It has gotten to the point where it is somewhat getting difficult without venting my experiences out. I'll try and keep this as short as possible but I'll start with an overview of the people involved Person A: This is me. I am 20 years of age, currently unemployed and recently failed University due to their lack of communication. I am a 'deep' sort of person that treasures his relationships and tries whatever he can to make it work. I love to talk things out and talk about my emotions. I am open, honest and faithful. I have previously had an anger problem (non-physical) but after some therapy, books and what not I can safely say that I am fine. At times I may seem 'clingy' (being honest here). I have had an ex, back..when I was around 13-14 and she left me for another guy - it didn't hurt nowhere near as much as this time. Person B: This is the girl that I love. 22 years old. She is kind, caring, very optimistic and has a wide arrange of hobbies. I have known her for 3 years and we have been together for 2 and a half. I visit her twice a year, most recent was this summer. We share similar interests and I have taken a liking of her hobbies too. We have had our 'bad times' but then again every relationship has those. She has stuck with me on this until recently after I came back from her place this summer. She is currently in China studying for her internship until..February i think? But yeah, eventually she wanted 'space' and broke up with me. She also told me she started having feelings for the other guy and well..it's been rocky since then. Person C: This is the other guy in question. I don't know him much at all really, in the past he has been an ass towards her and even blackmailed her for days (over something I can't remember). He has been friends with her for 10 years now and apparently both started having 'feelings' for each other for quite a while as well. I tried to be 'friends' with him in the past but I generally didn't like him, before I even knew about those two having feelings. He just doesn't seem like a nice guy to me. Urgh, I've written too much already..sorry! So..long story short. We first met in an online game, we talked had fun, started out as friends and then eventually after some months told her I liked her. It went on from there, we started using voice-chat, phone, sms and then eventually met up the following summer. We were clearly both happy. After a while..things started becoming more 'normal', she'd be busy with stuff and so would I. We had our arguments now and then and at times I have snapped at her, but apologised within the next 5 minutes. I was still a teen back then so..yeah. I haven't snapped at all for a year now, things were getting better. I truly believed we loved one another, she sent me love letters every few months and I would smile to her and tell her I love her. The summer I visited her everything was normal, we did the usual, go out, go shopping and generally just be happy. She never really told me how she really felt at that time. The Breakup Out of the blue about a week or two after I come back she tells me she wants 'space' and that she has started to like this other guy. After that, I felt..well you know the drill. I admit to crying at home for 3 days to well..'let it out'. I started reading, working out and generally improving myself. I even sought 'professional advice'. Later on, I kind of well..pushed her to make a decision, she just flat out told me she wanted to be with me if I promise to protect her forever. We were back together until a few days ago all three of us talked on MSN. It was..pretty awkward but in the end I just decided to let it be and give her the space she wants. Too long or Did Not Read?: She likes me AND the other guy. It's been a few days now..and I still feel horrible, but yet..still trying to live my life. So..what do you think? Edited September 8, 2010 by Damien
fabio10 Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 So what the two of you now sit around and wait for the queen to make her decision ???? WTF !!!! Man if she loved you she could not like another guy... Is second best acceptable to you cause thats what you'l end up! There is more women on this earth than men but yet you guys are letting this one play you both tell her take a hike !
Author Damien Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 So what the two of you now sit around and wait for the queen to make her decision ???? WTF !!!! Man if she loved you she could not like another guy... Is second best acceptable to you cause thats what you'l end up! There is more women on this earth than men but yet you guys are letting this one play you both tell her take a hike ! Nonono, don't get me wrong here; I am NOT sitting around here waiting on her - as far as I know the other guy is. But no..second best is not acceptable to me, I just feel she needs her space as she's in a completely new country to study and what not. I will move on and do other things however, but it'll take some time..that's all. Thanks for the reply fabio, it's nice seeing something from someone else's perspective
fabio10 Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 I know you want to respect she needs time and I was told the exact same thing but once you really look at it if you really wanted someone or something you would not need time ! Let her see what she has missed out on give her the cold shoulder for afew months !
Ajax Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 You're in a tough spot and I sympathize. I think that you're doing exactly what you need to do, give her space and live your life. I'm kind of in a similar situation where I'm waiting for my ex to figure out what she wants, and waiting is torture if you don't have something else to occupy your time. You may not feel like its right, but you might want to start seeing other girls. You never know what you might find.
Author Damien Posted October 11, 2010 Author Posted October 11, 2010 Hey! It's me again Thought I'd pop back and post a little on what's happened so far: I've been improving myself, got myself a driver's license, worked out and even aiming at a job now. Meanwhile the other two I talked about in my first post have started dating at a very long-distance sorta thing. I asked her about it a few minutes ago and apparently she never saw me and her getting back together at all. From what I've read this is what's called 'stringing along' right?. Why do girls do this and not just say so earlier? I don't know if their relationship is considered a rebound or not since they've known each other for 10 years now, and honestly I don't really care anymore. But I'd like some opinions on what I should do now? Do I burn bridges and shun her from my life altogether? Or do I let it be as it is. What would you do in my shoes? Thanks
Tantrumtigeress Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 Its not only girls that do the stringing along. Guys do too. I think we do it because we dont wanna loose something that we have if the other thing we want doesnt work out. I know its messed up but thats human nature or something like that. Its up to you, I mean you can either be friends with her or not... if not now maybe later... I mean im not friends with my exs right away but have become friends with them later. You cant have feelings for them still though because then it just messes with everything, your mind your heart so your the only one that really knows if you still have them or not...
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