zxvf Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 (edited) I've met a super religious girl, she is really nice, and sweet, but being SUPER RELIGIOUS, is that a deal breaker? Opinions and thoughts? Also her family is super religious, the whole, virgin before marriage type. Edited September 8, 2010 by zxvf
jamesum Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 I hate religion, so I fail to see how its not going to be a deal-breaker if the girl is super religious.
Author zxvf Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 I hate religion, so I fail to see how its not going to be a deal-breaker if the girl is super religious. Thanks for the reply, but the trade off is that she is super nice and sweet.
jamesum Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Thanks for the reply, but the trade off is that she is super nice and sweet. If you are desperate for a girlfriend and have no other choice then go ahead. Just remember that she may not push you to be more religious but her family will expect you to be more like them.
Woggle Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Fanatics of either gender should be avoided.
Author zxvf Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 If you are desperate for a girlfriend and have no other choice then go ahead. Just remember that she may not push you to be more religious but her family will expect you to be more like them. Oh bloody hell good point. Better get that out of the picture before anything else.
tigressA Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Fanatics of either gender should be avoided. This. Super-religious people annoy me. I was involved with one once and it was a bad choice. If you're not as religious as her/her family or are not ever willing to be, it will definitely become an insurmountable obstacle down the road.
elaina Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 I've met a super religious girl, she is really nice, and sweet, but being SUPER RELIGIOUS, is that a deal breaker? Opinions and thoughts? Also her family is super religious, the whole, virgin before marriage type. Hello zxvf, I don't consider myself super religious, but I am most definitely a Jesus Freak. To me, it's a deal breaker if the guy is not as much of a Jesus Freak as I am, or if he is extreme. For example, if he thinks it's ok to insult other people's beliefs or people for any reason or try to force his belief on others, that's a deal breaker, but if he is passionate about what he believes and his beliefs line up with mine, it's really cool. Personally, I think most people who have passionate beliefs concerning God (and not just following a tradition of their families but rather of having personal passion for the belief) should be with people who are like-minded, because otherwise it might just cause issues in your relationship. I've dated guys who were not Christian before, and even though they're great guys (being a Christian or not a Christian does not equal great), it did seem that we were going two separate paths and was not my ideal relationship, because for many "super religious" people, it's important for them to have the support of their partner and support their partner in their beliefs, you know? Maybe though ya'll will have a wonderful relationship. One friend of mine is a Christian who has dated an Atheist for 2 years. He does not mind her beliefs and even though he doesn't believe in God, he doesn't insult her beliefs at all. She doesn't try to get him to believe what she does, so their relationship works very well and they are very happy.
Dazzel Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 I am an Agnostic person dating a Baptist. He's not super super into it, however. But he thinks drinking is bad (as are other drugs). He doesn't care if I do it, but he won't do it. He also believes in saving sex for marriage. So he is a 26 year old virgin. If I could do it over, I don't know if I'd do it again. I've gotten so attached to him but I wish I knew of his beliefs up front. Thanks goodness he isn't preachy and doesn't mind my beliefs. But, some of the mindsets he has about certain things, especially sex, are just insanely frustrating. But for a super religious person, I'd never date them. No matter how nice or attractive they are. It wouldn't work. I couldn't do it. Almost every one if my hobbies and interests contradict what they stand for. I'd have to pretty much hide everything about myself. I refuse to do that. Hiding is something that's unfair and difficult. To the topic creator, if I were you, I'd stay away from her. If you are already questioning or disagreeing with her views, then she likely isn't going to be changed by you. You'd be saving yourself a lot of effort by just walking out now.
Gallaxia Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 OP, have you seen the girl's (& family's) beliefs in practice? Hearing, and assuming are one thing, but seeing for yourself is another. I know you emphasized "SUPER religious" so it seems that it's above and beyond your personal threshold. But what's "super" to an atheist? Or "non-practicing" Christian? It may not be so for an average practicing Christian or what have you. You may find with a little investigation whether it's worth it. But that's for you to see and assess based on your personal beliefs. But like Dazzel said, if you're already questioning, either find out more for yourself with an open mind, or "eject".
Stung Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Fanatics of either gender should be avoided. Agreed. It would be a dealbreaker for me, I don't need anybody trying to convert me or indoctrinating my kids in ways I don't agree with or disapproving in-laws envisioning me roasting in hellfire for every little liberalism. I have no problem with anyone's right to believe fervently in whatever they choose, I just have no desire to bring an uber-religious situation into my home and pursue it romantically.
taiko Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 If she is truly "SUPER" then she is only with you in an effort to save you. Not to become a mate because the two of you would not be "equally yoked".
catersi Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 just move on! You are going to have to deal with the subject now or later whether you want it to happen or not. Theres lots of fish in the sea. I mean unless u dont mind getting your manliness get cut with sic-ors later down the road. I hope you have patience! All kiding aside people are not going to agree with me but you will more than likely be transformed from the man you are into one that is submissive with these types of families, its their law or else, simple as that.
yamanbt Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 I've met a super religious girl, she is really nice, and sweet, but being SUPER RELIGIOUS, is that a deal breaker? Opinions and thoughts? Also her family is super religious, the whole, virgin before marriage type. I had your exact same dilemma a few years ago when I was in college. My ex gf was a gem in a lot of ways. Sweet girl, beautiful, honest, loyal, etc. However, she was super religious and was on some no sex before marriage type stuff (she was a virgin, and a couple years older than me). I think it's all a matter of timing. I was with her throughout my sophomore year of college and the following summer. I was too young, and I'm still too young, to be held down in that manner. When I broke up with her, I told her that we were in the right relationship at the wrong time, and that maybe we will cross paths again in the future. It was a really hard break up for me to carry out because a good woman like that is extremely rare these days. However, I was getting so sexually frustrated, and I didn't want to make her do anything she would regret.
tman666 Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 (edited) I've met a super religious girl, she is really nice, and sweet, but being SUPER RELIGIOUS, is that a deal breaker? Opinions and thoughts? Also her family is super religious, the whole, virgin before marriage type. I dated a heavily devoted Catholic girl for a while in college. Her family never really seemed to approve of me, and she made it very clear at the start of the relationship that kissing was as far as we would ever go physically without being married. She would never hold hands or show any sort of affection in public, she would scold me if I swore, she wasn't really interested in going on dates anywhere, and instead of being inviting with regards to her church, etc. I was always made to feel like I was mostly bothering her. Obviously, this relationship didn't last long. I'm sure part of her issues were simply that she wasn't very mature and was sort of an "undercover bitch" (she was one of those people who are very nice and sweet to everyone they meet, at least superficially). However, that experience (and other experiences with "religious" people) has pretty much turned me away from wanting to be associated with anyone heavily religious. I could go on and on about this subject, but you get the picture. Edited September 8, 2010 by tman666
In_Repair Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Is SHE "super religious" or is she simply from a structured religious background and it's all she has known her whole life? Go out with her a few times and be yourself, really yourself, and see what her reaction is. What's the worst that will happen? You might have to suffer through a pleasant evening or two with a nice date?
reservoirdog1 Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Personally, I think most people who have passionate beliefs concerning God (and not just following a tradition of their families but rather of having personal passion for the belief) should be with people who are like-minded, because otherwise it might just cause issues in your relationship. I've dated guys who were not Christian before, and even though they're great guys (being a Christian or not a Christian does not equal great), it did seem that we were going two separate paths and was not my ideal relationship, because for many "super religious" people, it's important for them to have the support of their partner and support their partner in their beliefs, you know? Maybe though ya'll will have a wonderful relationship. One friend of mine is a Christian who has dated an Atheist for 2 years. He does not mind her beliefs and even though he doesn't believe in God, he doesn't insult her beliefs at all. She doesn't try to get him to believe what she does, so their relationship works very well and they are very happy. This makes a lot of sense to me. A relationship between two people, one super-religious and one not, will probably have too many obstacles. And it's generally good to have a partner who supports you in your beliefs, whatever they may be, and people who are "passionate" one way or the other are probably not going to "get" the other person's beliefs on anything more than an intellectual way. I include myself as one of those people who wouldn't "get" the other person's beliefs. I'm best described as a non-religious, passively spiritual agnostic-atheist. Meaning: 1. I don't believe in organized religion. 2. I'm pretty much on the fence about whether or not there's any sort of higher power or "force", if you will. 3. If there is a higher power at work, I don't believe it's anything like what the organized religions believe it is. 4. I'm not motivated enough to explore whatever spirituality I possess in any active way. I also believe, for instance, that sex is a very important part of a relationship, and that premarital sex is a good idea, at the very least to explore compatibility. So I wouldn't be with a woman who doesn't share that view. It just wouldn't make sense for me. If a woman I was dating went to church on Sundays, I wouldn't have a problem with that, as long as she wasn't preachy with me, didn't invoke God's name in regular conversation, didn't try to convert me, and didn't require or expect that I go to church with her. Nothing wrong with her beliefs, but they aren't mine. Just my $0.02...
elaina Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Religious girls think sex before marriage is wrong and they tend to think that sex is wrong That's true for many religious girls. However, some of my religious friends think sex before marriage is ok as long as they are in a committed, loving relationship. Others think even a kiss is wrong before marriage. Religious people are diverse; they're not all the same by any means. and gross anyway aswell so even if you would marry her you would still never get any sex... So a relationship with a religious girl will basicly be completley sexless. That's untrue for many religious girls. My religious girl friends and I LOVE sex and for those of us who want to or have waited till marriage, it is not a walk in the park to wait. It is frustrating, but many religious girls do so because we believe in a higher power than humans, not because we don't like sex. There are some religious girls who don't like sex for whatever reason, but many do really love sex. People are diverse, even religious people.
stillafool Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 I've met a super religious girl, she is really nice, and sweet, but being SUPER RELIGIOUS, is that a deal breaker? Opinions and thoughts? Also her family is super religious, the whole, virgin before marriage type. It's a problem if you aren't super religious. You two are not equally yoked. Move on and leave her to the church boys.
elaina Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 This makes a lot of sense to me. A relationship between two people, one super-religious and one not, will probably have too many obstacles. And it's generally good to have a partner who supports you in your beliefs, whatever they may be, and people who are "passionate" one way or the other are probably not going to "get" the other person's beliefs on anything more than an intellectual way. Good points. I include myself as one of those people who wouldn't "get" the other person's beliefs. I'm best described as a non-religious, passively spiritual agnostic-atheist. Meaning: 1. I don't believe in organized religion. 2. I'm pretty much on the fence about whether or not there's any sort of higher power or "force", if you will. 3. If there is a higher power at work, I don't believe it's anything like what the organized religions believe it is. 4. I'm not motivated enough to explore whatever spirituality I possess in any active way. I think there are many people who are the same as how you explained above, and that's great that you are honest about your beliefs. I also believe, for instance, that sex is a very important part of a relationship, Totally agree! and that premarital sex is a good idea, at the very least to explore compatibility. Well, I see your point and it is a good one and it's hard to know. One thing though to remember about religious people who wait till after marriage to have sex is that we (many religious people) have a lot of faith in what is unseen. Having faith in God is not science. It's a belief based on personal experiences of others and of one's own self, so having faith that people will be sexually compatible is not even half as hard. Do you know what I mean? Sadly, there are religious couples who don't talk about sexual compatibility before marriage and don't talk a lot about sex and what they like/don't like and then after marriage are unpleasantly surprised at their partner. So, hopefully most people who wait till marriage (who are rare in this day and age) do talk about what they like or not and consider sexual compatibility. Oftentimes though, sexual compatibility is something that is not the issue. Many times in marriages, people get divorced because of difficulties in living together, not so much because of sex, even though yeah I've heard there are people who are frustrated about a partners' lack of sex drive/creativeness, but people change too. Even if a couple has sex before marriage, that doesn't mean that the people are always going to be like they were before marriage, you know? So I wouldn't be with a woman who doesn't share that view. It just wouldn't make sense for me. Understood If a woman I was dating went to church on Sundays, I wouldn't have a problem with that, as long as she wasn't preachy with me, Understood. didn't invoke God's name in regular conversation, It is really difficult to me to not invoke God's name on a regular basis, because my beliefs are a part of how I view the world and everything, so to not talk about God in regular conversation is not something I can do very well. didn't try to convert me, Understood. I think that's one of many reasons why religious people get such a bad rap, right? and didn't require or expect that I go to church with her. Nothing wrong with her beliefs, but they aren't mine. Understood
Author zxvf Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 Good morning/after/where ever you might be: Thanks for all the replies: So I've talked to her a bit more, and I've came to the conclusion that the most I'm willing to go is friends. There is me: 1. I don't believe in organized religion. 2. I'm pretty much on the fence about whether or not there's any sort of higher power or "force", if you will. 3. If there is a higher power at work, I don't believe it's anything like what the organized religions believe it is. 4. I'm not motivated enough to explore whatever spirituality I possess in any active way. And there is her, the total opposite of that, I respect her opinions and religion, but I don't think we are going to get along as SOs.... Thanks for all the inputs and opinions, really appreciate it
alphamale Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I've met a super religious girl, she is really nice, and sweet, but being SUPER RELIGIOUS, is that a deal breaker? Opinions and thoughts? Also her family is super religious, the whole, virgin before marriage type. dude, stay clear of these chicks, they are messed up in the head
tigressA Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Good morning/after/where ever you might be: Thanks for all the replies: So I've talked to her a bit more, and I've came to the conclusion that the most I'm willing to go is friends. There is me: And there is her, the total opposite of that, I respect her opinions and religion, but I don't think we are going to get along as SOs.... Thanks for all the inputs and opinions, really appreciate it Sounds like you handled it in a concise, mature manner. Kudos! Now this leaves both of you free to find people who are more compatible, and you've made a new friend.
phineas Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 my cousins GF of 1 yr was a Flander's. One day he woke up & learned not only didn't he no longer have a GF, but she was engaged to another member of the congregation. messed up.
Eeyore79 Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I couldn't date someone who was religious - religion seems a bit crazy to me, all that believing in stuff for which there's no proof while ignoring scientific facts - I need my partner to be somewhat more logical. I don't consider myself super religious, but I am most definitely a Jesus Freak. You do realise that's a derogatory term, right?
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