JimmyB26 Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 I've been thinking about a new test to see right away if an ex is making a genuine reach the first time she texts while you've been in NC for months, or longer... This is only going to work if she's texting you, and from the same cell phone number she always had. How often do we really remember peoples' numbers anymore? We put them into our phones under the person's name, and then we just touch the name forever after that. It only goes back to the phone number rather than the person's name ONCE WE REMOVE THE NAME FROM THE ADDRESS BOOK. So, if a dumper texts you and you recognize the phone number, and it's been months, even if they're still in your phone's address book under their name... What if your first response was: "Hey, who's this?" As if you'd deleted them from the phone a long time ago and stopped thinking about them. It sends a very powerful message of control, and immediately places you in a position of power. Now it's up to them. If they really want to strike things up again, they'll swallow their pride, now wounded over the fact that you've deleted them, and they'll tell you who it is. If they don't say anything else, you'll know they were just fishing for an ego boost.
bighearted Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Did that. She told me her name, and I never said another word to her. By the time she had texted me, I didn't want her.
AgeOfUninnocence Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Oh yes, I did this. Though I still had his number memorized by heart anyway, so I just changed it to Do Not Answer. It'd been over a month since we talked, so I decided to respond with something like "Hey... sorry, I don't know who you are, haha!" My ex responded with his name, and asked if I deleted his number. I said yes, I did. He asked why. I said it was because I no longer needed it. He said "Okay, cool" and then proceeded to tell me this group message I made on facebook was harsh, but that's a long story, and in short, we ended up text fighting and he whined like a baby and ran away from facing the conversation. So... in the end, that didn't quite work out to my advantage. But definitely took him off guard and made him wonder... I guess. But didn't make him anymore inclined to want to get back together.
Author JimmyB26 Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 I think that's when you begin to decide how you want to play it... Obviously this has caught them terribly off-guard and they know now that you mean business and you're not willing to screw around. It's a great way to cut through the nonsense. That fight that your ex started with you via text was probably him trying to unbalance you and get some control back over the situation. By baiting you into a text fight, he got the validation he needed that he could still get you riled up. For some people that's all the satisfaction they need.
Trovador Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 (edited) So after some months you are still worrying about what your ex might think of you or about the possible ways he or she will react to your little game? Do you realize you are still tools at their hands? That they still have a hold on you? That´s not moving on or healing... If I were way ahead in my process of recovery, recalling or not their number would be a moot point and if they called me some day I couldn't care less what they think of my petty tactics... I would answer as I would do with just any other person... Ha ha... as if you were going to forget their number in a few months... Hey, the above post was written in a light vein but I think it holds some true... ha ha Edited September 8, 2010 by Trovador
Username37 Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 Hahaha when my ex sent me that "when are we gonna be friends again?" text. I should've been like "who are you?" XD
AgeOfUninnocence Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 I think that's when you begin to decide how you want to play it... Obviously this has caught them terribly off-guard and they know now that you mean business and you're not willing to screw around. It's a great way to cut through the nonsense. That fight that your ex started with you via text was probably him trying to unbalance you and get some control back over the situation. By baiting you into a text fight, he got the validation he needed that he could still get you riled up. For some people that's all the satisfaction they need. That's true. My ex initially texted me with a "hey, what's up?" and when I asked who it was, he was more concerned with finding out why I deleted his number than what was going on with me. In my particular case though, I don't think my ex gets all that excited about seeing me riled up, because honestly I don't try to, I just try to get him to tell me what his feelings are (not for me, but what he thinks about situations going on, how our group of friends has a fall out, etc.) and then he never really has any. Also, I wrote that first post wrong. It wasn't our first contact in months, we'd talked twice briefly online a few weeks before, but this was our first texting encounter in nearly two months. I don't think he was trying to fight, but just getting mad that I'd expressed some rightfully true feelings on a facebook message, and he thought they were harsh.
lilbunny Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 An ex called me a few weeks ago, I asked who it was etc. It had been well over a year. 1. I actually had deleted his number 2. I really didn't recognise his voice at first. That's power, totally over it!
PixieStix Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 An ex called me a few weeks ago, I asked who it was etc. It had been well over a year. 1. I actually had deleted his number 2. I really didn't recognise his voice at first. That's power, totally over it! That's great. That is the best one I have heard lately.
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