Ex on the rebound

[Sonolumino]

Well my ex has been on a few dates with someone new. How should I cope with this? I try to picture them having fun, having sex, making out, in order to become numb to it. Any other advice? I'm really having a hard time here.

[leftfield]

Well my ex has been on a few dates with someone new. How should I cope with this? I try to picture them having fun, having sex, making out, in order to become numb to it. Any other advice? I'm really having a hard time here.

 

Maybe do the opposite of what you're doing now? I mean do you seriously want to picture those things! I know it's difficult not to sometimes but I'm not sure immersing yourself in a mental overdose of that horrible sh*t is going to help you. Self-inflicted torture.

[Sambo]

Well my ex has been on a few dates with someone new. How should I cope with this? I try to picture them having fun, having sex, making out, in order to become numb to it. Any other advice? I'm really having a hard time here.

 

 

WRONG !

 

Picture them arguing about stupid things, her bitching at him etc.. etc...

 

Then smile and be happy she's someone else s problem now.

 

Next picture yourself with a super hot super sexy woman who is madly in love with you and then picture your ex envious and crying over the fact that she lost an excellent man.

 

Always picture positives

[ShannonMI]

WRONG !

 

Picture them arguing about stupid things, her bitching at him etc.. etc...

 

Then smile and be happy she's someone else s problem now.

 

Next picture yourself with a super hot super sexy woman who is madly in love with you and then picture your ex envious and crying over the fact that she lost an excellent man.

 

Always picture positives

Yes I agree with this! And hopefully the rebound gives her herpes or some other horrible STD! I'm sorry. I'm so angry right now. Maybe your breakup wasn't as bad as mine. That's how I picture my ex with the new skank in his life. I can only hope he gets what he deserves after what he did to me.

[Sonolumino]

Ok. And no I don't want to picture those things but I don't know what to do. I have 13 more days until I leave this town and go back to school, I am trying to focus on that. This depression is really crippling at times. I keep telling myself that I am a good person. I'm not threatening her, stalking her, trying to find out where he lives to murder him, I'm just letting it be. I pray that she will realize what she lost in some small way at some point in her life. And I know this is cliche and wildly overused, but I treated that girl like gold, she just was tired of me. THAT hurts unbelievably, because I'm left searching for a reason and meaning where there is none.

[Sonolumino]

Yes I agree with this! And hopefully the rebound gives her herpes or some other horrible STD! I'm sorry. I'm so angry right now. Maybe your breakup wasn't as bad as mine. That's how I picture my ex with the new skank in his life. I can only hope he gets what he deserves after what he did to me.

 

I am extremely angry and hurt too and it's nice to know you understand! I saw a picture of the guy on facebook and he's 4 years older, and not very good looking. I'm no Brad Pitt, but this guy is a 5/10 at best. I'm taking some solace in that fact. I'm thinking she'll date him for a few months, have sex with him, he'll treat her badly. Either way, it definitely won't last, rebounds never do. In the meantime, I'm going to just focus on school, and get as far away as possible.

[ShannonMI]

I am extremely angry and hurt too and it's nice to know you understand! I saw a picture of the guy on facebook and he's 4 years older, and not very good looking. I'm no Brad Pitt, but this guy is a 5/10 at best. I'm taking some solace in that fact. I'm thinking she'll date him for a few months, have sex with him, he'll treat her badly. Either way, it definitely won't last, rebounds never do. In the meantime, I'm going to just focus on school, and get as far away as possible.

Yes focus on school and you will get through this. My ex cheated on me a week before he even broke up with me. I just recently found this out. My ex gave me BS excuses as to why he was breaking up with me when in reality he'd been boning some wh*re. Now he's dating the girl he cheated on me with. A young, college girl who I've heard is def. NOT a wholesome, take home to mom type. Karma is a b*tch and hopefully he gets what he so rightfully deserves.

[jon3105]

I saw a picture of the guy on facebook and he's not very good looking. I'm no Brad Pitt, but this guy is a 5/10 at best. I'm taking some solace in that fact. I'm thinking she'll date him for a few months, have sex with him, he'll treat her badly. Either way, it definitely won't last, rebounds never do.

 

Im in the same boat my man. My gf of 2 years dumped me and just got together with a guy at her work. She also made the point of meeting up with me to talk (me under the impression we were going to work things out) just so she could tell me they'd be ****ing together a week after our breakup.

 

It still hurts, but after about 8 days of NC now it's definately getting better. What I cant understand is why she'd leave me for him. I mean, I'm not big headed (although that does help with healing ) but this guy is about 5ft tall, has a podge belly from his beer drinking and generally isnt the most handsome frog in the pond. He's a kitchen porter at the hotel she works at, and a known drug user (meth). Whereas I'm in pretty good shape, I do a lot of football and cycling and generally have atleast reasonable career prospects. Heh, her loss though I guess.

 

I too stupidly put my ex on a pedastal. I went through so much crap with her initially when we first met, and ignored both my friends opinions and my gut (stupidly) and stuck with her throughout it. The one thing I've learnt from all this is to always choose your gut instinct. Always. If I had been strong and broken it off after 4 months, it would've saved me so much heartache rather than 2 years.

[ShannonMI]

Im in the same boat my man. My gf of 2 years dumped me and just got together with a guy at her work. She also made the point of meeting up with me to talk (me under the impression we were going to work things out) just so she could tell me they'd be ****ing together a week after our breakup.

 

It still hurts, but after about 8 days of NC now it's definately getting better. What I cant understand is why she'd leave me for him. I mean, I'm not big headed (although that does help with healing ) but this guy is about 5ft tall, has a podge belly from his beer drinking and generally isnt the most handsome frog in the pond. He's a kitchen porter at the hotel she works at, and a known drug user (meth). Whereas I'm in pretty good shape, I do a lot of football and cycling and generally have atleast reasonable career prospects. Heh, her loss though I guess.

 

I too stupidly put my ex on a pedastal. I went through so much crap with her initially when we first met, and ignored both my friends opinions and my gut (stupidly) and stuck with her throughout it. The one thing I've learnt from all this is to always choose your gut instinct. Always. If I had been strong and broken it off after 4 months, it would've saved me so much heartache rather than 2 years.

Why do our exes downgrade when it comes to finding someone new? My ex found my replacement a week BEFORE he broke up with me. So he cheated and dumped me for her. Talk about a blow to my ego. She's a college kid who people have told me is a skank. She looks like a walking STD is what one person told me. Now why the hell would my ex dump me for THAT? And why the hell would your ex dump you (you sound like a real catch:p) for this loser she's with? I just don't get it. My ex, I feel, is trying to live the crazy college years that he missed out on. We were in a serious 8 year relationship which started when he was 19. So at 27, he's living his college years with his college skank. It drives me nuts whenever I think about it. Ugh!

[Sonolumino]

To be honest, **** your ex-boyfriend. That dude deserves whatever STD he gets. I was in it for almost 4 years, I can't even imagine being dumped after 8, especially when you were nearing marriage age. My ex broke up with me, never gave me a reason other than (and I quote)- "you were late all the time, and your dad never liked me, and I feel like we lost something along the way", which really means "I'm tired of you". If she had said THAT to me, this would be a lot easier. I'm struggling right now because of a girl who's not even good enough for me, and it makes me very angry. 4 years, pissed down the drain, and I have only indifference to look forward to. The BEST part of all of this is that we went out on a date 7 days ago, for a full hour. Then we were texting and flirting all the time, and on Friday she invited me to come over sometime this week. Then two days ago, she stops texting, almost trying to end the conversations, and I look on facebook and have to find out this way. It would've been 1000x better if she would have said, "Look, I want to be single right now and go on some dates, I still care for you, I was just tired of being with you in a romantic way." I'd have said "Wow that hurts, but at least you were straight with me and didn't lead me on like a whore."

 

Now she's dating this idiot, and I'm once again just as heartbroken as when we ended things, maybe more. This is why I say no more to relationships.

[ShannonMI]

To be honest, **** your ex-boyfriend. That dude deserves whatever STD he gets. I was in it for almost 4 years, I can't even imagine being dumped after 8, especially when you were nearing marriage age. My ex broke up with me, never gave me a reason other than (and I quote)- "you were late all the time, and your dad never liked me, and I feel like we lost something along the way", which really means "I'm tired of you". If she had said THAT to me, this would be a lot easier. I'm struggling right now because of a girl who's not even good enough for me, and it makes me very angry. 4 years, pissed down the drain, and I have only indifference to look forward to. The BEST part of all of this is that we went out on a date 7 days ago, for a full hour. Then we were texting and flirting all the time, and on Friday she invited me to come over sometime this week. Then two days ago, she stops texting, almost trying to end the conversations, and I look on facebook and have to find out this way. It would've been 1000x better if she would have said, "Look, I want to be single right now and go on some dates, I still care for you, I was just tired of being with you in a romantic way." I'd have said "Wow that hurts, but at least you were straight with me and didn't lead me on like a whore."

 

Now she's dating this idiot, and I'm once again just as heartbroken as when we ended things, maybe more. This is why I say no more to relationships.

Yea it hurts when you get replaced by a piece of sh*t. I wonder why our exes don't see that the new one in their lives isn't as great as we were. Oh well. Maybe in time they will learn.

 

I wish my ex had dumped me before this skank was in the picture. If he was so wildly unhappy, why didn't he just end it? The reality was, he wasn't unhappy. This little hussy must have really mesmerized him and he just went for it. Throwing 8 years down the drain. I pray every night she dumps him and leaves him with a festering STD. Don't call me dude. I won't be there for you to fall back on.

[rattled]

Yea it hurts when you get replaced by a piece of sh*t. I wonder why our exes don't see that the new one in their lives isn't as great as we were. Oh well. Maybe in time they will learn.

 

So what if you were replaced with someone who was decent and not a piece of ****? I rather be in the two of yours position so I can say how much of a low life my ex is.

 

But through mutual friends I found out that my ex's rebound is a "sweetheart, a genuinely nice and smart individual"

 

I can tell you that the notion of him being a potential good thing for my ex actually pisses me off more than if he was some douche bag.

 

But regardless I definitely feel your hurt. Hang in there man.

[ShannonMI]

So what if you were replaced with someone who was decent and not a piece of ****? I rather be in the two of yours position so I can say how much of a low life my ex is.

 

But through mutual friends I found out that my ex's rebound is a "sweetheart, a genuinely nice and smart individual"

 

I can tell you that the notion of him being a potential good thing for my ex actually pisses me off more than if he was some douche bag.

 

But regardless I definitely feel your hurt. Hang in there man.

It does feel good knowing the one my ex is with is a piece of garbage. It really does. I would rather she be a piece of garbage then a "sweetheart, a genuinely nice and smart individual." Knowing what I know about the girl my ex chose over me, I know he will most likely get burned. It sounds evil, but I can't wait until it happens. I want him to feel some pain for once. He deserves it.

[Sambo]

It drives me nuts whenever I think about it. Ugh!

 

Shannon,

 

Sorry to hear about the new news

 

I know how hard it is to be left behind trust me BUT believe me when I tell you that he's an idiot and he will regret this big time but it might not be for a long while.

 

I encourage you to not become bitter because if you do then he continues to win and you lose.

[ShannonMI]

Shannon,

 

Sorry to hear about the new news

 

I know how hard it is to be left behind trust me BUT believe me when I tell you that he's an idiot and he will regret this big time but it might not be for a long while.

 

I encourage you to not become bitter because if you do then he continues to win and you lose.

I know, I shouldn't be bitter. I can't help it though. I will move on from this bitterness in time. Right now, that's all I feel unfortunately.

[Sonolumino]

Be bitter for a bit then let him and all that go. I have no idea who you are and I have no idea who he is, but I do know that only *******s do that to another person, especially one they supposedly "love". I'm doing the same thing. Indifference is a wonderful thing

 

1. Bitterness

2. Sadness

3. Indifference

4. (My personal favorite) Laughing about it

[ShannonMI]

Be bitter for a bit then let him and all that go. I have no idea who you are and I have no idea who he is, but I do know that only *******s do that to another person, especially one they supposedly "love". I'm doing the same thing. Indifference is a wonderful thing

 

1. Bitterness

2. Sadness

3. Indifference

4. (My personal favorite) Laughing about it

I'm flipping back and forth between bitterness and sadness at the moment. I can't wait for number 3 to happen and number 4 sounds great:laugh:

[BeagleGal]

Same as what Shannon said: I'm back and forth between #'s 1 and 2. I'm also really f*cking pissed off too.

 

I can't wait to feel absolutely nothing for my ex, I just want to be totally indifferent towards him. So much energy wasted on him. Its a damn shame.

 

Be bitter for a bit then let him and all that go. I have no idea who you are and I have no idea who he is, but I do know that only *******s do that to another person, especially one they supposedly "love". I'm doing the same thing. Indifference is a wonderful thing

 

1. Bitterness

2. Sadness

3. Indifference

4. (My personal favorite) Laughing about it

[brainblox]

WRONG !

 

Picture them arguing about stupid things, her bitching at him etc.. etc...

 

Then smile and be happy she's someone else s problem now.

 

Next picture yourself with a super hot super sexy woman who is madly in love with you and then picture your ex envious and crying over the fact that she lost an excellent man.

 

Always picture positives

 

SAMBO , you are so right !!

[brainblox]

 

I can't wait to feel absolutely nothing for my ex, I just want to be totally indifferent towards him. So much energy wasted on him. Its a damn shame.

 

 

Your experiences are worth gold if you learn from then, try not to take all that baggage into the next then you will find you never lost but gained !

[BeagleGal]

Yeah I'm learning not to ignore red flags or gut instincts.

 

Which is why I'm staying single for a while till I get over all this bullsh*t because no one I'm dating needs to be exposed to my baggage!

 

I havent quite reached the "so there is a light at the end of the tunnel" stage yet. But I'm hoping to get there soon, look back at all that's happened recently and breathe a sigh of relief.

 

Your experiences are worth gold if you learn from then, try not to take all that baggage into the next then you will find you never lost but gained !

[VeveCakes]

You guys are pathetic. You all think you can judge the new person your ex is dating but how could you ever know what type of person they are. I thinks its very sad you all want bad thing to happen your exs. You think you are all so much better yet you aren't with your ex anymore and I'm sure there's a reason for that.

[Sonolumino]

To be honest VeveCakes, you don't know me or the situation with my ex-girlfriend. She broke up with me because she is an emotionally stunted child that I made excuses for all throughout the relationship. I can finally see it for what it really is now that the blinders are off. 5 weeks after an almost 4 year relationship with me, she is dating another person. The way she treated me the last month of our relationship was deplorable, when all I did was want to work on our "issues". I gave and gave, but we are at different developmental points in our lives, and we had grown apart. She wasn't mature enough to realize that the chemical high of love doesn't last forever. I could go on and on, but we all come to this website for a reason: to vent, be heard, and get advice in a very difficult time in our lives. Beat yourself up all you want, but you're here too for those same reasons. Bitterness towards an ex is part of the healing process, and calling us pathetic for wanting our ex's to feel just a little bad about their decisions to brush us off isn't bad, it's human. It's a very human need to want to be remembered, and not thrown away. I don't know you or where you're at with your breakup, but try to understand that there is a "hate phase" of this whole process, and people aren't pathetic for going through it.

[ShannonMI]

To be honest VeveCakes, you don't know me or the situation with my ex-girlfriend. She broke up with me because she is an emotionally stunted child that I made excuses for all throughout the relationship. I can finally see it for what it really is now that the blinders are off. 5 weeks after an almost 4 year relationship with me, she is dating another person. The way she treated me the last month of our relationship was deplorable, when all I did was want to work on our "issues". I gave and gave, but we are at different developmental points in our lives, and we had grown apart. She wasn't mature enough to realize that the chemical high of love doesn't last forever. I could go on and on, but we all come to this website for a reason: to vent, be heard, and get advice in a very difficult time in our lives. Beat yourself up all you want, but you're here too for those same reasons. Bitterness towards an ex is part of the healing process, and calling us pathetic for wanting our ex's to feel just a little bad about their decisions to brush us off isn't bad, it's human. It's a very human need to want to be remembered, and not thrown away. I don't know you or where you're at with your breakup, but try to understand that there is a "hate phase" of this whole process, and people aren't pathetic for going through it.

Thank you for this! It's so true. Most of us here have been hurt very badly. And many of our ex's new SO are no good, but they are too blind to see it. And many of our exes are no good as well. It's theraputic to vent and its great that we can all relate to each other through our breakup experiences. There is comfort in knowing we aren't alone in this. It's healthy to FEEL what we are feeling. If we didn't FEEL these things then there would be something wrong with us. It's all part of the process. We have every right to be hurt, angry and bitter at what has happened to us. These people have walked all over us and thrown us out like trash. Why the hell WOULDN'T we feel the way we feel? Vevecakes can call us "pathetic" all she wants. It doesn't bother me in the least.

[BeagleGal]

Thank you Sonolumino and Shannon!

 

For the record, I never said anything about my ex's new partner, I have only dogged my ex because he's a cheating, lying POS. I didn't say anything bad about her, in fact, I've expressed yes some anger towards her rightfully but I've also said I feel bad for her because she's now stuck with him, who hasn't changed.

 

Ha! Doesn't bother me either, Shannon.

 

Thank you for this! It's so true. Most of us here have been hurt very badly. And many of our ex's new SO are no good, but they are too blind to see it. And many of our exes are no good as well. It's theraputic to vent and its great that we can all relate to each other through our breakup experiences. There is comfort in knowing we aren't alone in this. It's healthy to FEEL what we are feeling. If we didn't FEEL these things then there would be something wrong with us. It's all part of the process. We have every right to be hurt, angry and bitter at what has happened to us. These people have walked all over us and thrown us out like trash. Why the hell WOULDN'T we feel the way we feel? Vevecakes can call us "pathetic" all she wants. It doesn't bother me in the least.