Joe Normal Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 wow.......... Dexter, you have finally found someone more harsh on cheating than you are!
Joe Normal Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 1. he is REALLY inexperienced in bed, and he also lasts about 2 minutes, at best. i'm not saying that to be mean; he has MAJOR insecurities about it so i never give him a hard time or bring it up. but yet, the sex life is MAJORLY lacking. if i didn't' care so much about him in other ways, i might have left him a long time ago. Ok this is a pretty clear explanation. The issue is simple - if he was spending an hour making love to you and setting your loins on fire each time with multiple orgasms, you wouldn't even be thinking of cheating, right? So you are cheating on him because your sex life sucks. Leave then and find someone who you have a good sex life with, since that is clearly an essential thing for you in a relationship. You know how you can have great sex with someone but they are an *******? And you need to leave in that case because part is compatible but the other isn't? Well it's the same here - if you have a great friendship with someone but the sex sucks after a long time, you need to leave because one part is compatible but the other isn't. All the rest is just psychobabble.
Joe Normal Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 yes, there is frequently alcohol or going out involved. i actually tried to stop drinking for a while, but being 23, it is hard to stay sober for a long time or i feel like things are going well, i get a false sense of security, and i drink again. Excuses, excuses, how about taking some responsibility for your own actions? It is hard to keep to a diet or exercise schedule, it is hard to get ahead in life, many things are hard, that doesn't not mean you should give up and not do them. You even realise it yourself "or I feel like things are going well, I get a false sense of security, and I drink again". So, you yourself realize that after staying sober for a while, you get a FALSE sense of security and drink again. Which means this time you have to stop, and when you have been sober for a while, you need to realise any sense of security is false and immediately cast it out, and stay on full red alert that if you drink even one glass of an alcoholic drink, you WILL cheat on your boyfriend multiple times in future. You need to set a goal of TOTAL abstinence from any alcohol, and then stick to it. Any time you relapse, you have to immediately recognise that and go back to zero tolerance, no drink at all. If you don't stop drinking, you won't stop cheating, it's that simple. If you drink anything in future, you will spend the rest of your life as an unfaithful cheater, and if you ever get married, you will become an adulteress, a bad mother, and eventually a divorcee who ruins her childrens' lives. If you want to avoid that fate then you have to stop drinking. The longer it goes on, the more it becomes a habit of drinking and cheating, compulsive rather than responsible behaviour, the more ingrained it will be in your personality, and the worse a person you will become and remain.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 i just can't keep going on like this, for both our sakes for his sake, he can't afford to spend any more time with someone like you. you really think counseling is going to help his problem? although it could be that his problem is insecurity....which isn't helped by being with someone that would so callously betray him. I think counseling for him is a great idea, coupled with not being with someone that would do this to him.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 Its amazing how some women have the ideal man by their side and its heart-breaking how she is not cherishing him.. alot of women like myself is yerning for a good man and its women like that that are making it hard for women like you to find a good man. same for men like me...the cheating jerks make it hard on the rest of us.
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