am i doing the right thing

[Iloveyou4ever]

well me and my gf have been broken up for like almost 5 months and shes with her boyfriend that shes "in love" with :/ but whatever i just seen her yesterday and she told me she missed being with me, and how can she tell me that when she's in love with that guy? is she really in love with him if shes saying that she misses me? i mean don;t get me wrong ive been seeing other girls going on dates and hanging out with friends. i still love my ex soo much and something is telling me to wait for her, and i am because my mind and heart are agreeing with each other and i feel it from the bottom of my heart i should wait for her i changed the way i looked and let me tell you, i attracted my ex very much and she said i look hot , so i believe i have a very good chance in taking her away from that other guy, were having dinner very soon in like 2 weeks. im not letting this chick go for after 4 years and a half of being together, im not going down without a fight at least.

[Iselia]

well me and my gf have been broken up for like almost 5 months and shes with her boyfriend that shes "in love" with :/ but whatever i just seen her yesterday and she told me she missed being with me, and how can she tell me that when she's in love with that guy? is she really in love with him if shes saying that she misses me? i mean don;t get me wrong ive been seeing other girls going on dates and hanging out with friends. i still love my ex soo much and something is telling me to wait for her, and i am because my mind and heart are agreeing with each other and i feel it from the bottom of my heart i should wait for her i changed the way i looked and let me tell you, i attracted my ex very much and she said i look hot , so i believe i have a very good chance in taking her away from that other guy, were having dinner very soon in like 2 weeks. im not letting this chick go for after 4 years and a half of being together, im not going down without a fight at least.

 

I am also 5 months into the breakup and with my ex about 4 years. Do not pay attention to your ex's words. My ex (last time I talked to her) still claimed to love me. It doesn't matter. If our exes really loved us and missed us they would be with us. Words mean nothing. Actions mean everything.

 

This may or may not be a rebound. Even if it is a rebound, you have no promise that she will come back to you. Honestly, if she wanted you back she would reach out towards you. More than an "I miss you" and more like an "I screwed up." Accept nothing less than the best.

[Billie The Puppet]

Don't wait you have become the fall back guy I've played this game and am still playing it. It hurts so much. I am not ready to get in a serious relationship because I have feelings for my current ex and as far as I know she isn't in a relationship yet (we broke up about 7 weeks ago or at least she broke it off with me) however experience tells me that women don't generally leave relationships unless they have someone else lined up. (I found an email that looked like it was heading that way) Yet she hasn't acted on it as far as I know. I feel she is waiting a certain amount of time to make her moves with that one or at least make it public to me and her family as she may be seeing him behind our backs.

 

Her family really likes me but they will support her in the long run so eventually she will introduce her next flame.

 

Why do ex's want to remain friends I will never know she claims it's to be the better person but the better person to me would respect my decision to not keep contact with her.

 

I'm halfway expecting to get the messages you have been receiving but that is because they feel like it helps boost you and your feelings when in reality it kills us on the inside.

[Iloveyou4ever]

im just like confused guys because i know her way too perfectly and she gets jealous when i talk to other people and i see it on her eyes..one time she told me you shouldve done that with me instead of your new girlfriend and if shes in love with her guy..why in the world would she be saying she misses me and get jealous and ask who im talking with on the phone. i dont think she knows what she wants at all, so you guys are right nc for a while with her, i have to let her know im not a second option to her.

[Billie The Puppet]

They want to be able to move on but don't want you to have the same satisfaction. It's like they want to hold onto some power just in case you are the one that got away. Truthfully if there is a hint of jealousy and you both are not together you shouldn't take that as a sign in fact it's an unattractive trait and a bad sign in a relationship as it shows an insecurity.

 

I swear I am in your shoes right now. I feel my ex is the one that got away but our break up is still fresh. In fact I take almost anything as a sign she is still into me but I urge you do not act on them they will fail (mine did)

 

I have to take my own advice here which is hard but continue to move on in your life give up hope of reconciling and if it shall come so be it but don't live your life expecting it to come because it may never come.

 

There is no mathematical equation for this trust me I've gotten a hold of many e-books to get your ex back and they boast 86.3% chances and stuff like that some even claim 100% so far although they help my ego and self confidence but none have got my ex back.

 

I'm actually starting to believe that you should never look back even though you long for what you once had I don't think you'll achieve it .

 

Its like the saying if its meant to be its meant to be my ex even brings this up sometimes in which gives me false hope but it should that be true she would have never left in the first place.

 

Urg this battle sucks doesn't it. I just posted some advice I can't follow myself because my heart is still with my ex.

[Iloveyou4ever]

me and you are the same, and it really sucks because i really love this girl so much, yesterday i was with her the whole day, and thats when she said she missed being with me, and i never expected her to say that, i changed my look and like i said started hanging out with other girls and i could see it in her eyes that she gets hurt when i talk to other girls, but no she wants the guy that ****ed her over like 3 times in 5 months since we broke up she started dating this guy that she "loves" and he left her for his ex, but no she still wants him i just dont understand her, as much as this hurts i have to do nc for a while.

[Billie The Puppet]

I am on my second go at NC first go I failed I replied to almost all her attempts of contact. This time I plan to ignore some if not all of her contact. All the previous where just to say hi or ask how I am doing which e-books will tell you this is a good sign when in fact it's not always the case especially with my current ex.

 

I misread a lot of what I thought were signs from her for me to make my move, when they turned out not to be the case.

 

She will make it crystal clear to you that she wants you back that's my firm belief now. If they want you back they will tell you straight up don't look for signs.

[Iloveyou4ever]

thats how i am, when i see her facebook status talking about how she loves her man i get so sad and thats when im like ok no contact, ok a day goes by and im like ok i can do this, second day she texts me and there i go and give in, yesterday i slept over her house for gods sake and she was next to me! it felt so good to have her next to me. but just like you said if she wants me then she has to tell me.

[Billie The Puppet]

Mine was a Fiancé to be so it is really harsh we had partially planned the wedding too.

 

Anyways we hit the I need space wall and she never gave herself that space she called me every night during that time she found out I wanted to propose so we ended up back together and even went ring shopping (good thing no purchase was made) things were going great then one weekend she was just cold and I later found an email and questioned her on it ever since we have been split.

 

I took a vacation and we talked a little bit she feels bad etc but she insists she just needs to be single right now (BS I want the truth but that's all I get, It's not me it's her etc) She even goes on to tell me maybe in the future or if it's meant to be it's meant to be like all the stuff I want to hear but also tells me other stuff I don't want to hear like I need to move on etc or perhaps I should move to the city I was vacationing in IE signs that we will never get back together. Funny how I take the signs I want to hear seriously but let the other more clear signs go through one ear and out the other. IE she has given me both hot and cold signs in the same conversation.

 

Well anyways I get back and she texts me hey you didn't tell me you arrived safely. Like she really needs to know. Also while taking her advice I have been going out sometimes with females to which my night or recap may have been posted on my facebook wall which she reads and updates her statuses to stuff that makes it look like she is insinuating that she doesn't like the fact that I am out having fun while she is being single.

 

Like: Tired, Confused, Got a lot on my mind wish I was on Vacation was posted minutes after a girl posted on my wall thanks for the great night it was good catching up.

 

Then

 

Drawing a Blank, Tired, Feeling empty was posted while I was out with my ex's sister and her fiancé

 

I took the feeling empty thing as she was missing me because I have felt empty ever since we split but it turns out it was not the case or so she says.

 

She has also bought tickets to the same hockey games as me which I found very weird.

[Iloveyou4ever]

i dont understand women these days!! that's really messed up, how can she be saying all that and yet she's not with you? and i know it really hurts you because she doesnt know what she wants. and just like you told me in an earlier post, maybe shes stringing you along in case she cant move on or something, in my case i broke up with my girl cuz she was acting different, and well i was like wth did i do! i tried to win her back but she was alread talkin to the guy (which was an ex from her high school) and well 2 weeks later their dating, claim their in love, then the guy leaves her my ex cries and called me, a week passed the guy wants her back she said yes, 3 weeks passed same thing happened he leaves her, and then nwo their back together, and i changed the way i look and she said i look hot she started saying how other girls are goin to enjoy me and shes going to be missing out on me, and basically told me that if i get another girl ill be downgrading and she tells me that she misses being with me. ahh but idk i guess time will tell

[Billie The Puppet]

That I don't know I am hoping she will come to her senses and come back around. I have already question myself if I would take her back and to be honest with myself I would because I did get to the point where I was going to propose and I still very much think she is my "one" but I wouldn't jump back in where we left off it would have to start fresh again and I have learned stuff that I need to do to make it work. He who cares less controls the relationship.

 

I get hearsay that she actually isn't dating anyone like she has been home alone on weekends or at a females friends house which I can sort of confirm because I texted this female friend if her S/O is getting NHL 11 for xbox and she texts back can't talk now your ex is here. However she also has been out on a weeknight at a female coworkers according to her sister in which I replied thats if she is telling you the truth but the thing is I am not to care whom she is with we are not together and to be perfectly honest even if we were I am not to care whom she is with because I shall let her talk to who ever she wants as it only makes me look better (IE don't show any signs of jealousy) Though some girls tell me they like when their man is overprotective. With my ex its hard to read but I think she is one of those who would like to not be bothered by jealousy which is what I think ended our relationship and the sad thing is I have overcome that stage I could care less if she talks to multiple guys if I am the one she comes home too. I'd even allow her to dance with other guys at the clubs if it makes her happy as long as her lips are not locking it wouldn't bother me.

 

IE if she doesn't get romantic or sexual with others it doesn't bother me heck she can even flirt and it wouldn't bother me because we both are or at least were flirtatious I still haven't become my formal self but I am beginning to get my flirt back.

[shayan]

Listen and listen clearly if someone loves you, they wouldn't leave. Now if someone cares for you as a person and is attracted to you they can still leave, miss you afterwards, and occasionally be jealous just until they find someone that they feel genuinely replaces you in their life. That's all it means: they miss you. Look I just left someone who loved me very much because I know I did not love her. Now I care for her very much and I do miss her alot at times just because she had a significant role in my life and I would love to still have her as a close friend but she ended up moving very far away soon after the ordeal and I encouraged her to, would I go back to her if she moved back, no! That's why I left! Don't waste your time man! Don't sell yourself cheap! Mourn this woman who meant so much to you and get over her, this should be yout focus, rebuilding your life. So many people think caring for someone and romantically loving them is the same thing. They absolutely aren't.

[Iloveyou4ever]

yes i understand, hopefully it all works out in the end, i feel like if i at least dont put up a fight to get her back and in the end i know it dont worj out then i know shes not the one, i hate feeling like this. i really do, i go to sleep at night thinking about her. and i wake up thinking about her.

[Billie The Puppet]

Listen and listen clearly if someone loves you, they wouldn't leave. Now if someone cares for you as a person and is attracted to you they can still leave, miss you afterwards, and occasionally be jealous just until they find someone that they feel genuinely replaces you in their life. That's all it means: they miss you. Look I just left someone who loved me very much because I know I did not love her. Now I care for her very much and I do miss her alot at times just because she had a significant role in my life and I would love to still have her as a close friend but she ended up moving very far away soon after the ordeal and I encouraged her to, would I go back to her if she moved back, no! That's why I left! Don't waste your time man! Don't sell yourself cheap! Mourn this woman who meant so much to you and get over her, this should be yout focus, rebuilding your life. So many people think caring for someone and romantically loving them is the same thing. They absolutely aren't.

 

More often than nit people break up and stay broken up but there are cases they get back together and stay together my aunt and uncle are one of those couples.

[Iloveyou4ever]

my mother and her old bf are getting back together from after 26 years! and my mother never even had the slightest or anything to go back with him, she told me at times she would think of him but never actually thought of being together and now? their as happy as ever, i still have hope for her, i mean today she texted me saying what i was doing today and if i wanted to hang out with her SHE NEVER DOES THAT! so i was caught off guard and we had a great time tonight, went to dinner walked around, talked about how we were before when we were dating, but i guess its all in time now.