anna100 Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 It is strange because I have been here before... I have been with someone for four years, I loved him but if I am honest I never really thought we were meant to be together... however the break up was very painful and it took me a while to get over it. BUT I DID!!!!! HOWEVER the second time round this has happened I reeeeeeally loved this boy... he meant so much to me and it felt right. He stopped feeling this way and slowly made less of an effort with me/to see me and for about half a year we would only see each other once a week, which was fine for him but it upset me so he ended things. This break up feels different, I am scared once again I will always feel for him and I really don't want to!!!! I am scared I wont find anyone I will like as much as I liked him... I am scared I will never get to be his friend again.... but why can't I see the light.. I have been here before and gotten over it! I would love to hear (well read) some of your success stories of previous relationships (not the ones you are trying to get over now)and how you did it! whether NC is really the only way etc...
Rashad Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 This is how I got over my ex dumping me... - You need to come up with standards for yourself, the ones that I have are. -I do not love people who do not love me. -I do not care about people who hurt me (I don't wish them harm neither) -I do not waste my energy on things that I can do nothing about (e.g. something that happened in the past) - Focus on yourself... 50 Cent would say "turn sh*t into sugar" after I got dumped, I read more books, became a better basketball player, better student in my uni and I hit the gym more often. I can honestly say that I've never been better. - Turn to friends... I mean that's what they are for right? always keep yourself busy with positive activities that are fun and healthy. - Dig up old hobbies, I'm sure the relationship distracted you from a thing that you loved, weather its cooking, writing, cycling whatever find it and do it. - Do something that you are good at, this helps build your confidence and it really works much better if its a team or group activity that involves the opposite sex... for me it was basketball, I'd go play while girls be watching... I'm also good at writing so I'd often hit the open mic spot! hope this helps
boosh Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 This is how I got over my ex dumping me... - You need to come up with standards for yourself, the ones that I have are. -I do not love people who do not love me. -I do not care about people who hurt me (I don't wish them harm neither) -I do not waste my energy on things that I can do nothing about (e.g. something that happened in the past) - Focus on yourself... 50 Cent would say "turn sh*t into sugar" after I got dumped, I read more books, became a better basketball player, better student in my uni and I hit the gym more often. I can honestly say that I've never been better. - Turn to friends... I mean that's what they are for right? always keep yourself busy with positive activities that are fun and healthy. - Dig up old hobbies, I'm sure the relationship distracted you from a thing that you loved, weather its cooking, writing, cycling whatever find it and do it. - Do something that you are good at, this helps build your confidence and it really works much better if its a team or group activity that involves the opposite sex... for me it was basketball, I'd go play while girls be watching... I'm also good at writing so I'd often hit the open mic spot! hope this helps This is a great post.
Nappeal Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 What kind of 'success story' are looking to learn? The one's where a couple reconcile & things work indefinitely? Or the one's where people get hurt, be hurt, but move on? The latter you'll find all over this place; matter of fact, you'll find that just about half of the LSers who visit this forum aren't experiencing heartache for the first time. I'm here for the second most important relationship in my life...this 2nd time was w man who, tho I loved very much, didn't spend much time w. We weren't incredibly close (he kept a huge wall up), and we basically did our own things. Minus the parting gift of a pregnancy>baby, my feelings are kinda bleh about the whole thing...doesn't mean for a second that it doesn't hurt, but maybe because I know I still have to deal w him in the future I'm not too distressed, idk... Anyway, my 1st big heart break was w my first love who I was married to for 8 years, knew since I was 15, and had 2 kids w. He suddenly turned into this ugly person for a few months, then called for a separation. He had pissed me off soooo much for those last few months that I was happy to separate. Only thing was that he wanted to leave to continue a relationship w the coworker he was cheating w, and I found this out thru my then 6 yo daughter a month after we split. The description of 'a hot mess' isn't enough to describe me @ the time. We split 3 years ago, and only in the last year can I say I've finally felt indifference to him. He's now a friend who I can lean on, like any other friend of mine, and I would've never, ever thought we'd have a relationship like we do now. I like it more because I know he'll always be there for me as 2 people who care about each other, but I don't have to put up w his sht...that's his new wives job (the one he cheated w!)! Success happens, just more often than not, its never how you want in the beginning, which isn't a bad thing. If you think you and your ex have a great shot @ reconciliation, than cautiously look @ that route. I think it would be better for you tho to read up on some other LSers tips to get over the ex. Moving on has a better outcome that staying stuck in the thought of a long lost relationship.
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