onthebrinkofitall Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Ok, so I know this may sound pretty weak but I've went 20 hours with NC so far. It's so hard and I've got this huge knot in my stomach that just won't seem to loosen up at all. About a week ago, I found out that my STBXH has been hanging out with his ex-gf for the last month or so. While he assures me nothing happened, he lied to me about it. So the jealousy is pretty much eating me alive. I'm trying so hard to stay away from him. It's hard though, because he still talks to me.. and sometimes we still hang out. But it just got too hard after he lied to me about hanging out with this girl. I'm not jealous of this girl, by any means.. I'm just jealous of the situations that they can be in. I have 3 children and very rarely get a night out.. less than once a month. However, this girl has 3 children but has lost them and they are in foster care now.. so, that frees up all her time to hang with him. I just don't get why he'd go for such a skeez.. sigh. But anyway, I'm trying.. someone please tell me that it gets easier!
Don Ho Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 That's a good start! You need to continue NC for YOU. It does get easier with time. Keep going!
Iselia Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 If it makes you feel better, I couldn't go full NC until 4 months into the breakup. Her and I both contacted each other several times. Aside from briefly breaking NC yesterday (I know, I know) it's been 3 weeks for me. It was so hard at first... I just couldn't stay away. Same with her. But now, I keep in mind what she has done to me and what she is doing to herself. She is now a whore and a party college girl. Is that someone I want in my life? F*CK NO! I suggest you keep in mind all the hurt he has caused you, all the pain he put you through. Sure, he isn't fully to blame, but he ended it. He is the one who gave up. He is the one with skeletons in the closet. Keep this in mind and you'll do fine.
Thorgs Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 The grass isn't greener on the other side for him, but now you're off the hook of him hurting you any further and the grass WILL be greener on the other side for you! The first week or so of NC is very difficult, but it really does get easier in time. I'm on day 34 of NC (second time around). Sure we all have an occasional bad day but it really does get easier and at least we all have eachother here on LS.
Author onthebrinkofitall Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Thanks guys! This is really hard for me and I'm tired of hearing the same old, "F*** him!" and "You'll find someone else!" from my family. It's not as simple as all that and I know people on here understand that.. and I'm not interested in finding someone else, I want to find myself.
Thorgs Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Well at least your mind is in the right place. This is time for you to find yourself again. Keep that in your sights always and you will be back on your two feet in no time. You will have bad days but that's what friends, family, and LS is for. Congrats on almost a full day of NC, 3 more hours!
bonpaw2008 Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Thanks guys! This is really hard for me and I'm tired of hearing the same old, "F*** him!" and "You'll find someone else!" from my family. It's not as simple as all that and I know people on here understand that.. and I'm not interested in finding someone else, I want to find myself. On - you are totally in the right mindset to be successful! NC is for finding yourself, not getting confused by talking to him, listening to his lies, etc. Next time you feel that knot in your stomach for not talking to him think of the knot that will be there when he tells you a lie, or worse yet tells you the truth.... You got this girl, just keep concentrating on yourself and those kids. He doesn't deserve all this energy you are putting into him. He quit you, nothing he has to say now means anything for your future. PS are these his kids? He needs to step up and take his own kids, my XH did that to me (i.e. left me with the kids every weekend even when it was his weekend, just so I couldn't go out) If they aren't - hang out with some other moms with kids, new surroundings, just get out with some people and laugh, it really is the best medicine.
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