Amelia81 Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 My MM (or now xMM!) of four months told his wife on thursday that he was leaving her (I was walking away and he didn't want to lose me). She was having none of it so he told her the truth, about him and me. After lots of chatting, she wants a fresh start and he feels he owes it to her and the kids to try blah blah blah. Needless to say I was hurt but I know I am the strong one in all of this, and will come out of this alot better than they will. I have been chatting to him on msn this morning as I still wanted some answers to help move on. Despite everything, he wants to remain in contact (against her wishes, not that she knows it) and has offered to see me on Saturday. To test him, I have suggested one last moment of passion and he is tempted. Selfishly, I want to hurt him and so am thinking of forwarding these to his W. I know she doesn't deserve it, but should she also know what he's still doing? What would you do?
strawberrysprinkles Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Forward them. She should know he is wanting to see you while reconciling.
Fouts Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Why don't you realize you made a mistake, got involved with the wrong man and move on with YOUR life, stop worrying about his? It might work better for you 1
WowReally Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Forward them. She should know he is wanting to see you while reconciling. Forward them if you really want to screw this guy and burn the bridge if you never want to be on civil terms with this person again
Author Amelia81 Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Why don't you realize you made a mistake, got involved with the wrong man and move on with YOUR life, stop worrying about his? It might work better for you Oh don't get me wrong, I know I made a mistake. I know it will burn all bridges with him, but he really let me down and why would I even want to remain in contact and be friends with him?
greengoddess Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Oh yes absolutely show the wife all the conversations YOU have had with her husband. I would also include any pictures YOU may have of sex with HER husband. yes yes yes. Make sure you have your running shoes on though in case she wants to beat the crap out of you. Seriously, why would you want to put yourslf in the position of showing this woman you are still offering sex to her husband after he has said he has chosen his wife? you knew he was married. you knew what you were getting into. why do you want to hurt him? 1
greengoddess Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Oh don't get me wrong, I know I made a mistake. I know it will burn all bridges with him, but he really let me down and why would I even want to remain in contact and be friends with him? How did he let you down? He was married when you started seeing him. YOU let YOU down by getting involved with a married man. 1
hopesndreams Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 After lots of chatting, she wants a fresh start and he feels he owes it to her and the kids to try blah blah blah. Were you there? To test him, I have suggested one last moment of passion and he is tempted. A video, pictures would have more impact than some silly chat log or emails. Selfishly, I want to hurt him and so am thinking of forwarding these to his W. You want to hurt his wife and by doing so, she will throw him out and he'll be all yours.
Fouts Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Oh don't get me wrong, I know I made a mistake. I know it will burn all bridges with him, but he really let me down and why would I even want to remain in contact and be friends with him? I hear you....but you're focusing on the wrong things. She's a victim too, why devastate her to get back at him? It won't make it right, or make you feel better. I'm sure you're a great girl, you have a great future ahead of you, focus on getting yourself right, finding someone who wants you and wants to be with you. Let it go and focus on Amelia.
bohogirl Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 OP doesn't want to hurt the wife. She simply wants his wife to see first hand how duplicitous her hubby is. Since they are reconciling and all.
Silly_Girl Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 My MM (or now xMM!) of four months told his wife on thursday that he was leaving her (I was walking away and he didn't want to lose me). She was having none of it so he told her the truth, about him and me. After lots of chatting, she wants a fresh start and he feels he owes it to her and the kids to try blah blah blah. Needless to say I was hurt but I know I am the strong one in all of this, and will come out of this alot better than they will. I have been chatting to him on msn this morning as I still wanted some answers to help move on. Despite everything, he wants to remain in contact (against her wishes, not that she knows it) and has offered to see me on Saturday. To test him, I have suggested one last moment of passion and he is tempted. Selfishly, I want to hurt him and so am thinking of forwarding these to his W. I know she doesn't deserve it, but should she also know what he's still doing? What would you do? I think she should know she's being taken for a ride, again. Personally I would email him a one-liner, copying her, wishing him good luck with the reconciliation and ask him to stop contacting you. But then YOU have to back away too. It's not a game.
greengoddess Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 how duplucitous he is? He actually told his wife the truth. She is the one trying to test him with an offer of sex instead of just letting it go when he said he wants to work on his marriage. 1
Silly_Girl Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Selfishly, I want to hurt him and so am thinking of forwarding these to his W. I know she doesn't deserve it, but should she also know what he's still doing? What would you do? OP doesn't want to hurt the wife. She simply wants his wife to see first hand how duplicitous her hubby is. Since they are reconciling and all. I think you're giving her the benefit of the doubt there
Author Amelia81 Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 There are alot of judgements being made, but of course I was the OW so its all my fault he is STILL betraying his wife. He's already lied to her about where he will be on saturday, in the hope I will see him (I won't!!) I don't want him back, I have more respect for myself than that which is why I told him I was walking away. The mistake I made was giving him time and patience for four months on all his promises and when it came to the crunch he just couldn't do it. But if it wasn't for my strength we would still be carrying on as before.
greengoddess Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Actually I wonder if he really did tell his wife. This is another one of those right out of the married man handbook things. Ow pressures mm. mm tells ow ok I will ask my wife for a divorce. mm goes home has a nice day. Gives wifey and kids a hug. mm reports back to ow oh I told my wife but she wants to try to make it work. mm is full of crap and never did anything. If he told, his wife would have thrown him out for the night at the very least. I bet he never told her a thing. Yep show her. She needs to know her husband was having an affair. 1
Fouts Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 There are alot of judgements being made, but of course I was the OW so its all my fault he is STILL betraying his wife. He's already lied to her about where he will be on saturday, in the hope I will see him (I won't!!) I don't want him back, I have more respect for myself than that which is why I told him I was walking away. The mistake I made was giving him time and patience for four months on all his promises and when it came to the crunch he just couldn't do it. But if it wasn't for my strength we would still be carrying on as before. Nice post A, and yes, stay strong and move on
Author Amelia81 Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Actually I wonder if he really did tell his wife. This is another one of those right out of the married man handbook things. Ow pressures mm. mm tells ow ok I will ask my wife for a divorce. mm goes home has a nice day. Gives wifey and kids a hug. mm reports back to ow oh I told my wife but she wants to try to make it work. mm is full of crap and never did anything. If he told, his wife would have thrown him out for the night at the very least. I bet he never told her a thing. Yep show her. She needs to know her husband was having an affair. My mum wondered if he actually told her, but it wouldn't make sense to me why he would tell me he did but he was giving it a fresh start, because he knew he would lose me? But either way, I know he's not the man I thought he was.
greengoddess Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 My mum wondered if he actually told her, but it wouldn't make sense to me why he would tell me he did but he was giving it a fresh start, because he knew he would lose me? But either way, I know he's not the man I thought he was. Because he's a coward. He was losing you either way. You told him to step up or get out. He couldn't step up but if he at least made you think he did you may have sympathy for him and carry on a little longer with him.
Author Amelia81 Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Because he's a coward. He was losing you either way. You told him to step up or get out. He couldn't step up but if he at least made you think he did you may have sympathy for him and carry on a little longer with him. Well if he thinks I'd have sympathy for him, he doesn't know me very well. I know you could say it was wrong I tested him. But it confirmed to me that he really isn't the man I thought he was. He must be very weak if he really has decided to give it a fresh start with his wife but he's not strong enough even three days later to stay away from me. That is not the kind of man I want in my life. That decision is made. If he had cut all contact then it would be harder, because even though he made a mistake with me, at least he was doing the right thing now he had spoken to his wife. I would think him half decent and that would be harder to get over. Its so much easier to get over someone when you see them for who they really are.
Author Amelia81 Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Nice post A, and yes, stay strong and move on thank you for your support
hopesndreams Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 The A only lasted 4 months. His wife knows nothing about you. 1
greengoddess Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 The A only lasted 4 months. His wife knows nothing about you. Yep. If he told her he'd be going through hell right now not chatting with you about getting together on saturday.
Fallen Angel Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 The A only lasted 4 months. His wife knows nothing about you. Yep. If he told her he'd be going through hell right now not chatting with you about getting together on saturday. Yup! I agree.
torranceshipman Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 My MM (or now xMM!) of four months told his wife on thursday that he was leaving her (I was walking away and he didn't want to lose me). She was having none of it so he told her the truth, about him and me. After lots of chatting, she wants a fresh start and he feels he owes it to her and the kids to try blah blah blah. Needless to say I was hurt but I know I am the strong one in all of this, and will come out of this alot better than they will. I have been chatting to him on msn this morning as I still wanted some answers to help move on. Despite everything, he wants to remain in contact (against her wishes, not that she knows it) and has offered to see me on Saturday. To test him, I have suggested one last moment of passion and he is tempted. Selfishly, I want to hurt him and so am thinking of forwarding these to his W. I know she doesn't deserve it, but should she also know what he's still doing? What would you do? I would 100% forward those messages on to the W. Firstly, because I doubt in a million years he told her anything, and just told you that so that you'd continue (in his mind, anyway) having an A with him. Secondly, it will show the W - if they are reconciling - that he isn't worth her time.
Author Amelia81 Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 The A only lasted 4 months. His wife knows nothing about you. In that case then, its still an option to forward them to her cos even if he is lying to me now, it still shows her who he really is! She deserves better than him too surely.
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