WowReally Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 How long has your affair been going on? How long has the MP been married? Is the affair still a secret? Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Are they still sharing a bed? Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? Are they going to marriage counseling? Individual counseling? Is your MP living on their own? Still going to marriage couseling/individual couseling even if they're on their own? Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? I've been reading the posts and commenting and am just wondering what the stats really are.
bohogirl Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I don't think that you will receive many responses. People will easily out themselves by giving TMI!
Silly_Girl Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 How long has your affair been going on? Almost a year How long has the MP been married? Almost ten years Is the affair still a secret? No, but this is very recent Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Are they still sharing a bed? Yes. And, I don't think so, didn't ask Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? I wanted her to know, no matter how bad the fall-out Are they going to marriage counseling? No. So far neither have wanted this, even when they split up previously Individual counseling? Nope Is your MP living on their own? Not yet Still going to marriage couseling/individual couseling even if they're on their own? n/a Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? None I've been reading the posts and commenting and am just wondering what the stats really are. The stats will be whatever people are prepared to answer and how truthful they are. You'll understand more by reading threads and getting to know the posters situations, I think.
September Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Not sure if you wanted information about ex OW/OM relationships but, it may add to the insight! How long has your affair been going on? It went for 2 years (first 6 months EA then PA for 1.5 years thereafter) How long has the MP been married? 20 Years Is the affair still a secret? No, we both were caught out, separately. Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Are they still sharing a bed? He moved out after D-Day got his own apartment then bolted back 6 weeks later. Yes, he is still at home and has gone complete NC with me. No real explanation given and no idea he was going home. I am more than sure they would be sharing a bed... Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? She kept it between her and her WS - thankfully. Of course she loathes me but has managed to not make any contact with me. Are they going to marriage counseling? I don't believe so, he always told me that he would never go to a MC. They are very much "sweep it under the rug/keeping up appearances" people. Individual counseling? I know he went twice but didn't like where it lead so gave up on it. Is your MP living on their own? No, he is at home with his family. Still going to marriage couseling/individual couseling even if they're on their own? N/A Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? 3 children. Early to late teens. I've been reading the posts and commenting and am just wondering what the stats really are.
jennie-jennie Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Here are my answers in bold: How long has your affair been going on? Almost 5 years. How long has the MP been married? 20 years. Is the affair still a secret? Yes. Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Are they still sharing a bed? Yes. Yes. But no sex, no intimacy. Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? Yes. Are they going to marriage counseling? No. Individual counseling? No. Is your MP living on their own? No. Still going to marriage couseling/individual couseling even if they're on their own? Not relevant. Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? 4 kids still living at home: 2 teens, 2 younger. I've been reading the posts and commenting and am just wondering what the stats really are.
BB07 Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 WowReally said.......How long has your affair been going on? Was almost 2 years this time around. Didn't know I was the OW, thought I was dating a separated man on his way to a divorce. How long has the MP been married? 7 years. Is the affair still a secret? Oh no. Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Are they still sharing a bed? No, they split in April of this year. Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? Her and I had many long conversations starting 2 months ago about what a lying POS he really is. Are they going to marriage counseling? No Individual counseling? He said he is being counseled by his friend, a minister. Is your MP living on their own? Yes, as far as I know Still going to marriage couseling/individual couseling even if they're on their own? See above Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? They had no children. One adult child from a previous marriage. I've been reading the posts and commenting and am just wondering what the stats really are.
Fallen Angel Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 blah, blah.. ten characters.. blah, blah.. How long has your affair been going on? four years.. roughly.. I would have to do the math and as I am on my first cup of coffee, that is close enough How long has the MP been married? 20 plus years. Is the affair still a secret? No. Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Are they still sharing a bed? Yes, No. Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? Been there, done that, so yes. Are they going to marriage counseling? No. Individual counseling? No. Is your MP living on their own? N/A as already answered in question above. Still going to marriage couseling/individual couseling even if they're on their own? N/A Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? Yes. One minor child on his side and some adult children. And I have three minor children. I've been reading the posts and commenting and am just wondering what the stats really are.
2themoon&back Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 How long has your affair been going on? How long has the MP been married? Is the affair still a secret? Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Are they still sharing a bed? Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? Are they going to marriage counseling? Individual counseling? Is your MP living on their own? Still going to marriage couseling/individual couseling even if they're on their own? Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? I've been reading the posts and commenting and am just wondering what the stats really are. well lucky for me i have nothing to hide because the world seems to know about my xMM and the A, and I have nothing to lose anymore, so i will answer your questions. 1.Over 3yrs 2.23yr 3.No 4.Yes, and yes--not sure though 5.I thought I was, but no not really 6.Yes 7.No 8.MM moved out for about a week, now he is back at home 9.Yes, MC—I guess they are still going 10.Yes –one-13 I hope this helps you find what you are looking for and I will be glad to answer any questions you might have, because we both might finds some understanding by sharing information. Good luck
Grace2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 (edited) How long has your affair been going on? 16 months since the EA/PA began, friends for 3+ years How long has the MP been married? 16 years Is the affair still a secret? yes Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Are they still sharing a bed? yes, yes (I think, though he is moving outasap and I doubt they're in the same bed at this point. I don't care enough to ask, because there's no way they're being physical) Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? Um, no. It won't be pretty, let's just say that. She is very active in social networking and in the online community, and just her post announcing the separation has people coming out of the woodwork blasting him and supporting her (because, obviously, she's only telling HER side of the story). I don't want to be a social pariah, thank you very much Are they going to marriage counseling? yes Individual counseling? yes Is your MP living on their own? no, but will be starting next week Still going to marriage couseling/individual couseling even if they're on their own? yes, they will continue counseling Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? we both have young children Edited September 7, 2010 by Grace2010
Author WowReally Posted September 7, 2010 Author Posted September 7, 2010 i also think a good question would be: does the betrayed spouse believe the affair is over? many wandering/wayward spouses, when asked by their spouse if an affair is happening, either lie about it or minimize the affair and assure the spouse the affair is over/wasn't a big deal/was a one night stand, etc. Mmmmm good question
Confused4Now Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 How long has your affair been going on? Hmmmmm....Technically going on 5 years. Not really much going on but some Emailing. How long has the MP been married? 20+ years Is the affair still a secret? Not after I knocked on the door 2 years ago. Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Are they still sharing a bed? BS moved out for 6 months and then moved back in and has not left. MW tells me she is sleeping on the sofa...Who knows who cares....it's still under the same roof. Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? Already have dealt with it. Are they going to marriage counseling? They are not... Individual counseling? Yes she is... both Therapist and spiritual mentor Is your MP living on their own? Nope even though she was planning on moving out...I don't see that happening. Still going to marriage counseling/individual counseling even if they're on their own? N/A Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? Both her kids are college age Does the betrayed spouse believe the affair is over? I think he thinks I'm out of the picture cause nothing is really going on. I've been reading the posts and commenting and am just wondering what the stats really are. Like another poster said... I have no reason to hide anything...So I don't mind sharing.
Lizzie60 Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 How long has your affair been going on? All my As have been going on for more than 5 years. How long has the MP been married? The youngest MM is not yet married but common-law for 3 years now. Is the affair still a secret? Yes for all.. Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Are they still sharing a bed? Yes for all... Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? Of course.. but I have no fear.. we are extremely careful. Are they going to marriage counseling? No Individual counseling? No Is your MP living on their own? No Still going to marriage couseling/individual couseling even if they're on their own? n!a Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? Yes in all cases.. the youngest is a few weeks old..
OWoman Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Assuming fOWs can also play... How long has your affair been going on? The A phase lasted a little more than three years. How long has the MP been married? About 30 years. Is the affair still a secret? Never was, only from the BS. Who chose not to believe it when told. But eventually she accepted that there was "someone else". Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? He left about two and a half years ago. Are they still sharing a bed? They hadn't been for quite some time. Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? It wasn't discovered. He told her. She chose not to believe him. Are they going to marriage counseling? Ha! She refused! Individual counseling? He did, and went to family counselling with the kids. Is your MP living on their own? He did - with the kids - after he left her. I moved in with him later. Still going to marriage couseling/individual couseling even if they're on their own? He went to IC until he was done. He went to family counselling with the kids until they were done. Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? His are teens. Mine are college age & older.
JustJoe Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 4 years 2. 5 years 3. No 4. No, WS lives with me. 5. N/A 6. no counseling 7. no kids......yet:)
skylarblue Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 How long has your affair been going on? 6yrs How long has the MP been married? 16yrs Is the affair still a secret? yes Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Yes Are they still sharing a bed? yes Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? Yes, but I hope for everyone’s sake she doesn’t initiate a confrontation. No possibility of it ending well. Are they going to marriage/individual counseling? no Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? Yes, 2 adult kids from 1st M and 3 kids (12 & under) from current M.
Author WowReally Posted September 8, 2010 Author Posted September 8, 2010 Thank you guys...I find the answers very interesting
silverplanets Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 How long has your affair been going on? It spanned 13 years How long has the MP been married? She was married 18 months before the A started Is the affair still a secret? No - it came to light proper after one year, her H and I have shared various email interactions over the years Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Are they still sharing a bed? yes and yes ( I have NO illusions as to the second one !) Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? From the last but one "discovery" there were a number of threats so I made various precautions, the most extreme of which is a sealed letter with instructions to be sent to the police upon my death. Her H (and her) are both formally aware of this precaution. Are they going to marriage counseling? No - that would mean admitting a problem ! Individual counseling? Again, no, that would mean admitting an even deeper problem. Is your MP living on their own? Again, no - that would mean facing the deep problem ! Still going to marriage couseling/individual couseling even if they're on their own? n/a Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? - yes two ... young and early teens I've been reading the posts and commenting and am just wondering what the stats really are. NB: the above A is over, so the stats are historic. The letter and other precautions are still there though as a continuing safeguard.
mmk1 Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 How long has your affair been going on? 5yrs How long has the MP been married? 10yrs Is the affair still a secret? yes Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Yes Are they still sharing a bed? yes Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? Yes. Are they going to marriage/individual counseling? no Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? Yes, my OW has a elementary school age child.
siuys Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 How long has your affair been going on? 7 months How long has the MP been married? 18 years Is the affair still a secret? yes Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Are they still sharing a bed?No and no Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered?Not sure... can you prepare for something like this? Are they going to marriage counseling?Yes Individual counseling?Yes Is your MP living on their own? Yes Still going to marriage couseling/individual couseling even if they're on their own? Yes Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age?Teens I've been reading the posts and commenting and am just wondering what the stats really are.
White Flower Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 How long has your affair been going on? 5 years. How long has the MP been married? 40 years. Is the affair still a secret? Yes, even after D-day # 2 Is the MP still under the same roof as their spouse? Are they still sharing a bed? Yes. Are you prepared for the reaction of your MP's partner's reaction if the affair is discovered? Her reaction is inconsequential to me. Are they going to marriage counseling? No. Individual counseling? Yes, he is. I have met him there many times. Is your MP living on their own? No. Still going to marriage couseling/individual couseling even if they're on their own? I would encourage him to do so, if he/we felt there were still any issues to deal with. Are there kids involved? Young? Teens? College age? Adult, one married, both out of the house. I've been reading the posts and commenting and am just wondering what the stats really are. There you go.
JustJoe Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Really WF? I thought our affair had been going on much longer than 5 years.
BB07 Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Really WF? I thought our affair had been going on much longer than 5 years. Ahhhhhh Haaaaa, U 2 better cut that out!
JustJoe Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 BB, not many people know about it, but I'm her "boy toy".
BB07 Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 BB, not many people know about it, but I'm her "boy toy". :D Ummmm I need to get me one of those.
JustJoe Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 I have hourly, daily and weekly rates. Satisfaction guaranteed.
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