No contact, few questions....

[t1ff4n1]

Hi ya

So I’ve been doing no contact for 9 days now, longest we have not spoken for EVER!

I’ve been doing okay but I have woke up with that empty feeling this morning and I could easily pick up the phone and text him….BUT I CANT AND I WONT!

 

He has gone away on a lad’s holiday and I know him better than he thinks.

 

1.He only met these lads 4 months ago, so they are not what you would call proper friends.

 

2.The one lad he really doesn’t like, so he will be doing his head in now.

 

3.He isn’t a big drinker ( allergy) and needs his sleep so I would say by day 4 he will be pretty p***ed of

 

4.He has gone somewhere we had the best holiday ever and will be going to places we went together.

 

5.I went away with the girls this year and realised we aren’t spring chickens anymore, loads of screaming girls showing off which I know aggravates him so much.

 

Do you think things like this would trigger his mind?

 

I know when I was away the night time when I was out I was fine, but the days lying on the beach I really reflected. I know I was the dumpee and he is the dumper but do they still think too?

 

I know him too well and I know he will not text me while he is away, as it will look like he has thought about me when he is supposed to be having the time of his life. But he admitted before he went away to me he isn’t enjoying life at the minute and he also confided in his mom that 6 months ago he was so happy???

 

I am 99% sure he will text when he gets back and will probably be along the lines of…are you okay ippy(he still calls me by my pet name)

So if and when what do I do….

Ignore it?

 

Text back a simple fine thanks hope you are too……….

 

Or tell him what I really think….do not contact me until you know what you want, I deserve to be with someone who will fight for me through thick and thin so go away and decide what it is you truly want because being in contact with you is just prolonging the pain.

 

Does no contact allow the other party to reflect more? Rather than making the rash decisions that you make in the initial first stages of break up?

 

If by any chance he doesn’t get in contact, we made an arrangement before he went away that I can have the dog for 3 hours on a Sunday, how do I contact him about this? and how do I handle myself when I have to drop the dog back to him?

 

Thanks for your help x

Edited September 6, 2010 by t1ff4n1

[L3stat]

Some people need to remind of the order of things, the tool you will use to remind them is NC if i wanted someone back, if anyone wanted someone back they would move mouintains for them. unless hes begging you back, dont bother. i take it hes confuse doenst know what he wants? NC until he figures out what he wants, two things can happen he can realize what a mistake and come running into your arms ready to be the man he should of been, or he'll still be stuck in limbo in any case you will have the upper hand

[metricman09]

First of all hate to hear that you have to go through this, as most of us know that are on here are going through something simliar.

First off what you need from a significant other is a partner someone like you said that will be able to stick around when things get difficult.

If you were to talk, what do you think would come of it? Telling one another that you miss one another? Of course you both do, you spent a lot of time together but does not mean that you should get back together and that it would be different from the first time around.

From reading through this forum, we need to know our self worth and what we will accept (I am struggling to do this as well). We should not allow someone to dump us and then dwell on if they will come back or not. Is that who you want to be? I don't know you but I know that you are better then this.

You have gone 9 days without contacting him, aren't you proud of yourself? If not, you should be and from what it seems that you are doing pretty well, with the obvious ups and downs but I think you let the feeling pass and continue down the path you are on now.

[t1ff4n1]

Thanks for your replys.

How would you approach the dog scenario and how should I act around him?

[t1ff4n1]

Thanks for your replys.

How would you approach the dog scenario and how should I act around him?

 

Hey,

another day off no contact!

if anyone could let me know how to approach contacting him about the dog without coming across as stroppy or desperate and having alteria motive.

also when i collect/take dog back how would be the best way to approach it?

 

if im honest as much as im missing my dog i feel like i need to keep away but then i dont want to have another month of no contact and for him to through it back in my face that if i did really want to see her i would of before now!

 

help............

[lizzy22w]

Some people need to remind of the order of things, the tool you will use to remind them is NC if i wanted someone back, if anyone wanted someone back they would move mouintains for them. unless hes begging you back, dont bother. i take it hes confuse doenst know what he wants? NC until he figures out what he wants, two things can happen he can realize what a mistake and come running into your arms ready to be the man he should of been, or he'll still be stuck in limbo in any case you will have the upper hand

 

I have also been in nc for 9 days, and have felt the same way as tiff. mine called 4 days after I told him I would not be talking to him for awhile (but he has also said before that if a guy does not contact you in some way in 4 days, then he wants nothing to do with you. So he is obviously playing a game), and texted me twice that day, but I did not answer or respond. He has not texted or called since then, and while I am so proud of myself for finally getting the apples to stand up to him, I still find myself wanting to at least text back. It is so difficult, but L3stat, you answered the question I have been searching for, so thank you so much!

 

Tiff...we can do this! <3

(I will have to make a post about everything that has happened, leading it to go nc. I will post a link when I get it posted. ^_^)

[TearsofHope]

I have been NC for 8 days. Feeling urges to contact him after I told him to never bother me again. But I feel like I want to be bothered by him even though he has put me thru hell.

 

I'm with you ladies! Just want my life to be happy again!