Jump to content

Almost a year and Still heartbroken

Confused728

By Confused728
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Confused728 Established Member

Confused728

Posted
Posted

So we have been broken up for about a year. I have had months of no contact then contact then back to contact to no contact. And here i am i still think of him non stop and dwell on what went wrong and what i could do to fix it. How i could make it work. If he wants that or not. He says he still wants me in his life but doesnt say how and still wants to go out places. says he likes it when we hang out. Said he wishes he could cuddle with me because its been to long.. So right now i am back on NC. I want to move forward with him or move on in life. Do i just go on or do i tell him what i want? Also when we started talking again in december i found that he was hookin up with someone else but his excuse was that we never said we were back together. I just dont know what to do and i am so bothered by it. I think i really love him and think of him non stop and miss him so much my heart hurts so much. I feel like half of me is missing. I dream about him and just play out romantic moments in my mind the feel of his body. how great it felt and how intimate we where and cuddling with him. I keep wondering what went wrong and more importantly how do i move on. I dont know how. How do i move on when im still in love with him?

 

 

 

if you need to be filled in on the specifics of my story read here

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t206477/

L3stat Established Member

L3stat

Posted
Posted

Seeing him/talking to him etc etc isnt helping you at all. im sorry things didnt work out, but its time you move on. dont bother its been a year and he hasnt come back, i dont want to sound cruel but he isnt coming back.

 

We always think about what if we did this then things could of been different we all wish that, but thats not reality theres not time machine or a genie to grant us a wish, be strong now because things will get better it might be stormy now but it cant rain forever.

WalkingtheAbyss Member

WalkingtheAbyss

Posted
Posted

This is a hard one to put diplomatically so i shant even attempt too. You need to cut all contact with him if he's truely not interested and try to move on. Start going out with your friends and meeting new people. Eventually you will meet somebody else who will easily fill the space left in your heart at present.

  • Author
Confused728 Established Member

Confused728

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

But sometimes he sounds like he is. He says he wishes he could cuddle with me because its been to long, He says he still wants me in his life and wants to hang out.. If he wasnt interested i would think he would say dont contact me but when we talk he seems to text me everyday couple of times a day.. even got some text when he was away in another state, he sent them like at 4 am.. so he must have been thinking about me.. I dont know if u read my original l post about the drugs.. but i think his possible addiction might be what is keeping him from comming back because he knows i wont put up with it. Also i have tried to meet other guys but they just dont compare i dont feel as interested, i just still think about him. I wish i could just exorsize him from my mind.

Edited by Confused728
L3stat Established Member

L3stat

Posted
Posted

i read the other post after i posted to this one. ugh i understand that you want to be with him and the heart wants what the heart wants, but being with someone who might have a drug problem will olny lead to more problems, i know your hurting, but its been a year obviously he wants something more then you, you will always be 2nd to his whatever dont you think your worth more than that? i know your gonna do what your gonna do but i dont think anyone is gonna tell you the answer you want to hear, the truth is you should just move on and cut all contacts. you might be enabling him from getting help, by always being avaliable, maybe by you going away will help him.

Rashad Established Member

Rashad

Posted
Posted
But sometimes

he sounds like he is. He says he wishes he could cuddle with me because its been to long, He says he still wants me in his life and wants to hang out.. If he wasnt interested i would think he would say dont contact me but when we talk he seems to text me everyday couple of times a day.. even got some text when he was away in another state, he sent them like at 4 am.. so he must have been thinking about me.. I dont know if u read my original l post about the drugs.. but i think his possible addiction might be what is keeping him from comming back because he knows i wont put up with it. Also i have tried to meet other guys but they just dont compare i dont feel as interested, i just still think about him. I wish i could just exorsize him from my mind.

Do not judge people's intentions by their words, actions speak louder. If he says he wants you yet he is not taking the necessary steps to have you then he probably doesn't. My ex would always tell me that she misses me on FB and sms, but when I invite her to hang out she'd come up with excuses, so I figured she is just lying to keep the bridge between us so that in case one day she and her BF break up I'd be chilling on the bench. Maybe its a similar case here. If it is then that's pretty selfish don't you think?

 

another thing, you really wouldn't wanna be with somebody who does drugs, that's a recipe for disaster. I hope you find the strength you need to get through this. Good luck :D

  • Author
Confused728 Established Member

Confused728

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Ya you guys all have good points.. I just feel like there is still some hope... I dont know.. Im just having a hard time letting go, I just think he is really deep down a good hearted man and kind and loving.. I just cant understand. and i miss him so much. It was most intense relationship i ever had and i dont mean by fighting. we had very deep feelings and contact. It was amazing.

Poohbear1965 New Member

Poohbear1965

Posted
Posted

Sorry to hear that your heart is still broken. I am still in love with a guy I said goodbye to 12 years ago. He was the love of my life and always will be. I think about him every single day and still cry for him when I'm alone. I have since married and I am in a very unhappy marriage. I don't love my husband and I made a huge mistake in marrying him. I did so with good intentions - he had 2 children whose mother had died when they were young. I loved the children (and still do). I can't leave until the children are old enough to take care of themselves (they are teenagers now). I have tried to make contact with my ex a couple of times over the last couple of years (he lives in another country), but it didn't work out. I have read some of the advice messages to you saying you have to move on. I, for one, know that sometimes it's not possible. Your life can and will move on, but it doesn't mean that your heart or feelings can. I will love my ex for as long as I am on this earth and I will miss him always.

rebeccamay New Member

rebeccamay

Posted
Posted

Wow. I feel bad for you girl. I am 32 and still single. Just got my heart broken but I don't think I could take what you are going through. You deserve more! Go talk to a counselor, hang out with your friends, join a dating website and date as many guys as you can. Be completely gone and then you will see if he really loves you enough to stop playing games. He sounds like a jerk and you sound too sweet to tell to you know.... So move on you will find the one who does deserve you!

  • Author
Confused728 Established Member

Confused728

Posted
  • Author
Posted

wow poo i hope i dont end up like you. that must be tough! I know i keep leaving but always contact him after a few months.. and he always regrets what he did, or so he says. lol but never changes.. I just dont know what to do..

PassionFly New Member

PassionFly

Posted
Posted

Babe...see what i saw on AA's website yesterday - "Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open". i'd suggest you release yourself from being fixated on this guy and look around, I'd bet there a lots of folks who are truly interested in you, so open up your mind and you'll see...one never knows where one can find love...

  • Author
Confused728 Established Member

Confused728

Posted
  • Author
Posted

its like i wanna to email him and say "this is the last email im ever going to send you. if your sure this is what you want and u dont want to be in a relationship with me, we will never talk again. Please let me know if this is what you want".

is this a bad idea to do. I'm thinking he doesnt want to be with me as before he said he just wants us to hang out like we used to when we were friends and there was no pressure or tension. I go back and fourth thinking i should do this then other times i say skrew it, and its not worth my time.. I constantly shift my mind

  • Author
Confused728 Established Member

Confused728

Posted
  • Author
Posted

i'm afraid he is moving on and not thinking about me i hate that. am i that worthless that he can just move on and not care? it hurts bad still.. i just wanna reach out and do something

Sonolumino Established Member

Sonolumino

Posted
Posted

I'd send him the email, but don't give him options, give him the ultimatum. Say "Listen, (whoever), either you want me in your life romantically or I will disappear forever. I've gone through too much and cried too many tears for you and this relationship to be on the backburner while you do whatever the Hell you want. So right now, tell me. I deserve that much."

 

And then you wait for the reply. If he says "I'm sorry, I want you in my life but just not in that way" then you say "Well I'm sorry I can't put myself through that. Goodbye" and then you never contact him again. That's the only way to heal. Hear it from the horse's mouth.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...