Sivok Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 So the GF transferred from a community college to a university recently, but she can't afford it. As such, she chose to strip. Tried to convince her against it, but no go. Honestly, I don't care that much interms of jealousy however at the same time I don't want to get ****ed over down the road. The club isn't a full on strip club, there's no nudity and no physical contact at all with the girls. Anyway, my gut is telling me to pull out. Does anyone here have experience dating a stripper, and give me insight on how that turned out interms of worrying about what she's up to and if it's even possible to have a secure relationship with her?
jamesum Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Women are lucky. If they are out of money they can just sell themselves.
L3stat Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Do you care about her? Do you love her? Does she love you? Can you deal with the fact that other men, will see her half naked? There was really no other options? I mean look on the bright side better then being a "call girl" and posting massage ads on Craigslist. Look if you love her and she loves you then stick with it, its gonna be tough. If you dont love her and you guys havent been together that long, and theres no strong bond between you guys, then split. eventually you might resent her and find her less attractive then before.
sb129 Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 There is a poster on here called Spookie, she used to be a stripper. She might be able to help you in terms of helping you see it from your GFs perspective. I do remember she didn't ever look at her customers in terms of anything other being sources of income.
lab_brat Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I stripped my first few months of law school to pay for my textbooks? I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of it and don't feel like any less of a decent person for it. i spent 10 years taking ballet and contemporary dance classes, so pole dancing was a realistic option that fitted with school hours. It's a job. I was single at the time, but wasn't ever attracted to anyone i danced for. Didn't sleep with or date anyone I met there, it was just a job. Didn't drink on the job, sleep with anyone or do any drugs, and most of the women i worked with were the same. I don't regret it and wouldn't change it. If you like the girl, i'd see how it goes, but if you really can't hack it its probably for the best if you back out before things get too serious.
WalkingtheAbyss Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I've known a few strippers over the years and must say that the only thing that might put me off is the hours the girls work. Other than that there are rules to abide to in clubs, not just the girls but the punters also. I would not hesitate to date one so long as she washed off the sickly smell of perfume prior to getting into bed with me lol
alexlakeman Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Few things that would cross my mind: I'll get a kick out of it ten years down the road bragging to my buddies that I used to date a stripper while in college. When we're at holiday dinners with the family and they ask her "so what job r u in while in college?" And she tells my family "I'm a stripper" , the look and sudden silence on everyone's face lol. Then again, she's my gf and I don't give a f.ck what anyone says. The thought of her dancing naked could b a turn on Knowing she could start doing lap dances, rubbing her ass on someone's hard on, while his hands are all over her body, breasts, etc.... Hmm that's a problem. Heck, what r d chances you are going to end up the rest of your life with her? Statistically speaking slim chance, so u could stick with her. She could get attracted to a client.
taiko Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 . The club isn't a full on strip club, there's no nudity and no physical contact at all with the girls. And thus the money the sex industry really generates does not come from that club, it becomes the junior varsity at which the girl will give up or move on to the lap dance factory or high end club, if she has the right look, to make real money. At this point things are still okay, its not much different then being with an actress. If she goes for the implants or a porno role to up her featured dancer credentials you will be with a full on sex worker with all the drama that entails.
TigerCub Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I have a friend that has dated a lot of strippers, it all starts out ok, and it really does depend on the girl. For most girls, its just work, but.....some girls turn to drugs, and do "extras" for more money... it could go either way, but it does really depend on the girl in the end. But from the sound of it, your gf isn't even really working at a regular strip club, she's not even getting naked or doing lap dances, or anything like that - hmmm, i honestly don't even know what kinds of "strip clubs" those are. You know her better than we do, if you think it'll just be work for her and she's not gonna get sucked into the drugs and the extras, then see how it goes..
Gallaxia Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I agree with asking the ladies here who've had experience, would be a good idea. You didn't really explain if you're against strippers, per se, or the idea of dating one, and all that could possibly come with it. Although, from reading your post, I'm curious if the issue really lies in you being upset over your GF not discussing it (further) with you, after expressing your disinterest in her choice for supplementing her income. And with good reason if you're in a serious relationship... Sorry Sivok.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I was a trained dancer (ballet, and then professionally jazz / showgirl stuff in prestigious stage and nightclub acts). When I was in college, I also stripped. It was a great part time job for me. Like another poster above, I NEVER engaged with any of the club customers. There was no such thing as lap dances back in those old days, and no nudity or physical contact of any kind. It did engender excessive drinking and other such indulgences. Now that I'm in my dotage, I am not ashamed of that part of my life, and I was not then either. It did take a secure guy to succeed in being my boyfriend though. Or a really oblivious one.
prettybaby Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 It's really hard to say without knowing the girl or the strip club she works at, but a friend of mine used to strip when she had to pay for college, and she's a great girl who would never cheat on her boyfriend. She's very serious and dresses well. Nobody would guess she ever worked in a strip club lol
Author Sivok Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 You didn't really explain if you're against strippers, per se, or the idea of dating one, and all that could possibly come with it. Although, from reading your post, I'm curious if the issue really lies in you being upset over your GF not discussing it (further) with you, after expressing your disinterest in her choice for supplementing her income. And with good reason if you're in a serious relationship... Sorry Sivok.Well, we aren't too serious yet. It's been 2 months. I just never saw this coming, at all. It seemed so out of the blue. I've never actually thought about what it would be like dating a stripper. I am secure enough to not be jealous about it, but yes, i wasn't extremely thrilled about the idea either. I don't imagine her moving onto something else as well, it's just alot to take in and I wanted to see what I can learn from people who have been in such situations.
Mad Max Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 If you're in school and need money that bad, there's no other job to take? McDonald's? Home Depot? Something in retail? No self-respecting person would work as a stripper. I wouldn't even want to work as a stripper.
WalkingtheAbyss Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 If you're in school and need money that bad, there's no other job to take? McDonald's? Home Depot? Something in retail? No self-respecting person would work as a stripper. I wouldn't even want to work as a stripper. Whats wrong with stripping? I actually hate that word as it's classed as exotic dancing nowadays. If you have a nice body and have no hang ups on showing it off what harm does it do to your self respect? I cant comment on the clubs in the states but in the UK we have a strict no touching policy and some rather large doorman on call if needs be. At the end of the day it's better to be in a job that pays well and you enjoy than sweating over the ovens of McD's for minimum wage hating every last minute of it in my opinion.
prettybaby Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 If you're in school and need money that bad, there's no other job to take? McDonald's? Home Depot? Something in retail? No self-respecting person would work as a stripper. I wouldn't even want to work as a stripper. I could never be a stripper either, but let's face it: compared to what a stripper can make in one night, McDonald's or any other retail job for that matter pays nothing lol Note: emphasis on "can make". Depends on the club and the stripper herself.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 If you're in school and need money that bad, there's no other job to take? McDonald's? Home Depot? Something in retail? No self-respecting person would work as a stripper. I wouldn't even want to work as a stripper. Wrong! I was and am a self respecting person, and I did work as a stripper. It was quite an adventure! Some people might say that no self respecting person, or a person who cared about the environment and the state of humans' health, would work at MacDonalds. I'm not one of them. There are some professions that I think are ethically wrong (hitmen, ambulance chasing lawyers) but generally I think a persons' job is up to them. If their SO doesn't like it, that can cause problems. Mad Max, you are entitled to your own moral judgements but that does not make them absolute.
taiko Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I could never be a stripper either, but let's face it: compared to what a stripper can make in one night, McDonald's or any other retail job for that matter pays nothing lol Note: emphasis on "can make". Depends on the club and the stripper herself. The question becomes how can they make that money without moving close to a suit and teasing him out of his money with her charm or selling lap dances. Without that personal contact with the consumer the money is not as big
prettybaby Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 The question becomes how can they make that money without moving close to a suit and teasing him out of his money with her charm or selling lap dances. Without that personal contact with the consumer the money is not as big It's not as big, but it's still higher than the average retail job lol
Feelin Frisky Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 ...Does anyone here have experience dating a stripper, and give me insight on how that turned out interms of worrying about what she's up to and if it's even possible to have a secure relationship with her? Yes. I was forced to realize that what world she was living in was all about being a professional c_ck teaser. She lost view of lines. Bear in mind that being in that business throws females together of all ilks and origins. It's not unheard of for them to secretly or not so secretely hate men and see men and sex as necessary evils to be used just to get what they want. One may find one's self playing a form of relational Russian roulette by believing that the woman who enters this arena can always hold true to hard lines between an act and a reality. Even if ones g/f is not like that, she can be exposed to it and perhaps influenced by it. Caution.
Star Gazer Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 It's hard to listen to comparisons of US to UK strip clubs or clubs from way back in the day, because strip clubs in the US in this day and age are either full nudity (but no alcohol, just juice) or only topless (but with alcohol), and lap dances do take place across the board. I've never heard of a strip club where there was neither nudity or lapdances.
meerkat stew Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Agree with FF, she will be exposed to the worst possible element, and will have guys using every trick in the book to get sex from her. Of course, that's not too much different than the average college party these days Also agree with others that there is something fishy here in that the type of strip job she is taking is going to be very low paying,maybe even less than a straight job. There could be something in her character that actually attracts her to that type of work as opposed to it being all about money, and you should watch out for that possibility, as it could be a sign of emotional problems.
lilbunny Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I have a male friend who works as a stripper. He goes around various pubs and clubs with his show. He works as an electrician during the day. He takes the lots off. He is a lovely guy, married with 3 kids, when the kids allow she goes with him, but actually his brother in law is now in the show anyway. He is a lovely guy, always does photos and signs pictures etc afterwards, but he doesn't go home with any of the customers. He does it because it is easy money and he usually has a good laugh along the way. If he can do this as a means of giving his family a better life and not slip into some seedy underworld, is there any reason that this girl can't do this as a short term solution to cover college costs?
InceptorsRule Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Hmmm....your gf wants to take her clothes off in rooms full of strange disgusting men, on a nightly basis, and show off her girly parts, in exchange for money. Nope OP you've got absolutely nothing to worry about. Cheers!
Author Sivok Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Hrm, it's still too early. I'm going to have to feel this out for another week or two but honestly, I'm not emotionally invested enough for it to devastate me if I broke it off. If it gets to the point where I feel she's lying through her teeth about stuff she does on the job or immediately after and I get urges to check her phone, then I'm going to end it. One of the things keeping me from doing so right away is I'm extremely attracted to her
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