krazygirl Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 a little background: i am a 27 yr old woman. 2 years ago my fiance left me out of nowhere. we went NC for a year and are now on speaking terms. in the meantime, i realized i had been in denial about my sexuality (and the reason my ex left me was mainly lack of sex from me). so i came out this past year and have been big into the local gay club scene. most the girls there are 23 or younger ... i live in a small/big city, so everyone knows everyone in this community, everyone's dated everyone. it's incestuous, really. i met my first gf last year and she absolutely broke my heart out of nowhere (come to find out she has very serious emotional issues). it took 5 months to get over her, i lost about 25 pounds over it ... and here i go again back into heartache. i met a 20 year old (knew about her, knew about her exes, knew the girl she was talking to .. small community). also knew there were red flags galore with how she's treated girls in the past/present. she was at a party and asked me for a cigarette. she then asked if a kiss came with that. she's gorgeous. we ended up having sex in her car and spent the next 4 days together having a great time, when she lied to me and went and had sex with her exgf. her ex actually called me to tell me. anyway, since we were not official, i let it slide. she and i talked for about a month and had great times and i fell for her and she fed me a bunch of BS and told me she loved me, etc. long story short she started being shady and i called her on it, and she basically did not fight for us at all. it is now made apparent on FB that she actually committed to a girl she was talking to before me. i pretty much wanna puke. we've been still talking as friends (tho i flirt and she doesnt deflect it). so much for that. i guess my problem is, i'm extremely lonely, and so tired of people acting like they are soooo into me, and then just dropping me like it was nothing. my exgf told me she loved me ... she never loved me. this recent one too. and the texts and the things they say. how can one say such things and not even remotely mean them??? i could never ever do that. i guess everyone is different though. basically my heart can't take anymore. i am getting my master's degree, physically i would be considered a 9/10. i don't understand. any of it.
Rashad Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 physically i would be considered a 9/10. i don't understand. any of it. aww, first of all I'm really sorry that you are going through this, I have been dumped for no reason before so I understand how it feels. There is a pattern though, you said your fiance walked away and its because of the sex, we all know that sex is a major pillar of a relationship but its not everything... the 20 year old chick was obviously into sex and nothing else... then you say that you are 9/10 physically. Has it ever occurred to you that these people are being fake and saying all these nice stuff just to sleep with you?? if you are hot you have to be twice as careful and a million times as critical of what people tell you.
L3stat Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I could never understand how someone can look you in the eye and say i love you and not mean it. I will never understand and i have long since gave up, but i am truly sorry that this happened to you, but the olny thing i learn is take things slow,take your time in letting someone in, getting to know someone. If the person you dating is saying i love you after 2 weeks, now i do believe you can fall for someone on sight but i would just be extremly catious.
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