Hopelesslyforgotten Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I want to break NC! But i am literally having a mild anxiety attack right now and can't stop think about wanting to break NC. I have been doing so well w/ not wanting to contact my ex, but then something just triggered (like literally 10 min ago) my thinking about him...bringing back good memories...and then I wanted so bad just to text him...but I haven't yet. From a breakup that was more mutual (primarily difficulty due to long distance and moving issues), does he expect me to break the contact first? Initially after we broke up...NC for 2 days.. I was really weak and broke NC...and we talked until 5 days ago until something happened that basically made us realize that we were both needed to 'cool off' (his words) and not talk to eachother...BUT now i'm thinking he is thinking it's going to be ME again to run back... that I am going to be the one to break the NC again since I did so in the beginning. Do guys normally assume that it's going to be the girl in the relationship to break the NC first? So..please convince me that it should be he that break the NC and not me again .....ugh I just want him back .
Trovador Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 There is no motive to break NC if you really want to move on... I did it once, to do her a favor (something to do with the roads being blocked) and she didn't care... she surely thought it was a futile pretext when in reality I did out of kindness... I felt like an idiot... again... So, don´t do it, even if you want him back... you will appear desperate and needy and even if that´s the case you need to win his respect... and that you can achieve it being strong, showing him that you can stick to your word, that you are consistent with what you say... hold on a bit longer... And it doesn't matter who calls whom, it would seem girls have a harder time calling guys, but in my case, girls have broken NC most of the times... but I'd like to remind you that you try NC for your own wellbeing... think of what you want, not what he wants... for once, put yourself first...
Author Hopelesslyforgotten Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 There is no motive to break NC if you really want to move on... I did it once, to do her a favor (something to do with the roads being blocked) and she didn't care... she surely thought it was a futile pretext when in reality I did out of kindness... I felt like an idiot... again... So, don´t do it, even if you want him back... you will appear desperate and needy and even if that´s the case you need to win his respect... and that you can achieve it being strong, showing him that you can stick to your word, that you are consistent with what you say... hold on a bit longer... And it doesn't matter who calls whom, it would seem girls have a harder time calling guys, but in my case, girls have broken NC most of the times... but I'd like to remind you that you try NC for your own wellbeing... think of what you want, not what he wants... for once, put yourself first... It's so hard not to want to contact but you're right. I don't want to appear needy and desperate. I just thought with NC this process of slowly moving on would get easier...but even though I haven't contacted him I feel like I am back at step one...I feel horrible again...I was starting to feel better until yesterday...and now even today i feel like crap again. Ugh I just want this to stop
leftfield Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 It's so hard not to want to contact but you're right. I don't want to appear needy and desperate. I just thought with NC this process of slowly moving on would get easier...but even though I haven't contacted him I feel like I am back at step one...I feel horrible again...I was starting to feel better until yesterday...and now even today i feel like crap again. Ugh I just want this to stop I haven't spoken to my ex for a week now and I still feel like sh*t but I'm told it does get easier. It's a bit of an emotional roller-coaster as you well know, but trying to get in touch with him won't help you. At best he might ignore you, at worst he will tell you something you don't want to hear, or he'll act totally indifferent like he doesn't really care, which hurts just as much believe me. If he wants space he will be very reluctant to show you any affection, so don't go looking for it there.
confuzed1 Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I want to break NC! But i am literally having a mild anxiety attack right now and can't stop think about wanting to break NC. I have been doing so well w/ not wanting to contact my ex, but then something just triggered (like literally 10 min ago) my thinking about him...bringing back good memories...and then I wanted so bad just to text him...but I haven't yet. From a breakup that was more mutual (primarily difficulty due to long distance and moving issues), does he expect me to break the contact first? Initially after we broke up...NC for 2 days.. I was really weak and broke NC...and we talked until 5 days ago until something happened that basically made us realize that we were both needed to 'cool off' (his words) and not talk to eachother...BUT now i'm thinking he is thinking it's going to be ME again to run back... that I am going to be the one to break the NC again since I did so in the beginning. Do guys normally assume that it's going to be the girl in the relationship to break the NC first? So..please convince me that it should be he that break the NC and not me again .....ugh I just want him back . I'm a guy, and I have been the one to break the NC since our breakup. Once I do she lets me into her life...even to stay the night with her. I don't see why either could not break the NC, but this time, if she wants to rescue a 6 year relationship, it will be her. I'm done, otherwise.
Author Hopelesslyforgotten Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 It definitely is a rollercoaster Leftfield! I was ok until yesterday...and now I find myself crying again over him...but you're right, getting in touch with him won't help. Yeah i've been the one to break NC in the past Confuzed, so that's why i'm thinking he just thinks it will be me who breaks it again. I wish I had your strenght Confuzed! I feel so weak right now.
confuzed1 Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 It definitely is a rollercoaster Leftfield! I was ok until yesterday...and now I find myself crying again over him...but you're right, getting in touch with him won't help. Yeah i've been the one to break NC in the past Confuzed, so that's why i'm thinking he just thinks it will be me who breaks it again. I wish I had your strenght Confuzed! I feel so weak right now. I guess we all need to come to a realization...even if it is the worst. I am now going to expect the worst and try my best to move on from there. Today is Labor Day, and I am going to drown and forget my sorrows with drink and great friends!
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