Not strong enough Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 Well, I know I shouldn't care, and I know it doesn't really matter, but i still kinda wished it had happen. The days mostly over, me and my ex of 2 years have been in NC for 3 months. It wasn't the best breakup, long story which some of you probably know. But for some reason I had this idea, that she would at least txt me a happy birthday, but it hasn't happend, probably won't, and for some reason I care. Yes, I want her back, the old her atleast, which probably won't happen. I guess getting the birthday txt or call or anything would have made me feel like she cared still, at least a little bit. Not slipping into any more of a depressed state, just a little disappointed, and wondering why, can't stop the mind from wondering sometimes.
Banega100 Posted September 5, 2010 Posted September 5, 2010 hey man sorry to hear about this. But you shouldn't care. just make sure you don't contact her on hers. I would suggest a username change! you ARE strong enough, of course you are, so don't lead yourself to believe that youre not. good luck.
gfunknown Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 It's my birthday today and I received a text saying happy birthday have a nice day from my ex narcissist boyfriend. We have been broken up for about one month and it is killing me that I broke up with him and I so wish him back. i do not call him...he calls me. Once I received the text of wishing me a happy birthday...my day was in an uphill of sadness. My thoughts were just going crazy thinking about him. I almost staring crying and I was working with his best buddy. Gosh, I collected myself so fast he didn't even notice...I hope. Needless to say it goes both ways whether he says HB or not - it feels like crap and I feel like I am crawling out of the deep dark hole again. It was my fault I broke up with him and so regret my stupid decision. He is a narcissist to a tee and I know I need to move on. BUT IT HURTS SO BAD!
Trovador Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Until we really move on, we will never have peace of mind, because if they send us a HB they are playing with us and if they don't they are the insensitive ***** we got to know so well... For me, it would be beter not to hear of them in my birthday... In case it is useful, my gf didn't give me a gift when it was my bday... that should have told me a lot about her...
Vampire Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 The birthday blues. I'm feeling your pain there pal. I split up with my ex-fiance a month before my birthday last year. As the break-up was on the cusp of the birthday, I've now had two birthdays since and neither her or the son I brought up contacted me. So yeah, I understand your pain my friend. It's a rather lonely and hollow feeling. You know it's your day and you're supposed to wear a plastic smile and eat etc, but your heart just won't let you. They say the first of everything after the break up hurts. The second isn't much fun either. Good luck pal.
gfunknown Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 We are on a so-called break. He is a true narcissist and I broke up with him because I was so mad due to him putting me down and yelling at me at work. I worked with him for the summer. I have lost him, my friends, my job, my everything. I feel so alone!!! Currently I am out of a real job and in search of one. I feel devastated and unworthiness. We did talk a few times on the phone after my break up with him and then since he has a lot of stress right now on his plate (which is true) that "we need to take a break". Also after this weekend (labor day) and once his schedule is back to a decent order...we can see. Is he holding a carrot in front of me? Am I getting my hopes up and holding onto something that is not going to happen? Remember he is a controlling ex narcissist - he has all the traits and I seem to not let go of him. Damn it!! I am caught with him.
Trovador Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 You broke up with him for a reason, don't forget it now... and if he is the way you describe him, that occurrence will happen sometime... We humans tend to forget the bad moments and cherish the nice memories, but someone yelling at me and constantly putting me down is no worth my tears, less of all getting back to said person... Save yourself some more pain in your future... suffer now, but NOT suffer now and anyway suffer later... this is the exact point in your life when you walk ahead or stay stuck with a very unsatisfactory life...
9Lives Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Im convinced the less you hear from the ex the better. I wanted to hear from my ex at one point but if you are not getting back together, whats the point? I just think until your healed being in touch with someone who does not want you back is asking for trouble. I really is. It just too much HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU BY THE WAY!!!
skydiveaddict Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Why would you want to hear from her on your birthday of all days? So she can rip the stitches out and pour salt in your wounds?` It's a good thing you didn't here from her. Of course, if you've done NC they way you should, she would have no way to contact you anyway. Excerpt thru the mail.
gfunknown Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Thanks 9Lives for the birthday wishes!! It's tough not hearing from the ex. I just need to hear from him and for him to call me. I do not call him...rarely at all when we were seeing each other. I know weird. Now that there is NC on my side I miss him calling me...I know habit. Duh??? He lives like a 3 minute drive from me. (basically around the corner) I have not bumped into him yet while doing errands or anything. We met a bar yup a bar. That is how he scanned me out and played onto me. I do not go to that bar at all....only with him. That is where I broke up with him...how ironic!! His choice to meet there. Again ironic. Hmmm...I guess all in all I am just feeling lonely and want him back - the only thing is he is not real. I want the fake him (narcissist)...which is just an image of me. He has manipulated me and now I believe I think that he did this to me to feel upset, lonely, craving for him, needing him to live. Brainwashing!!! I need to get him off my mind!!!
gfunknown Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 NC is so difficult when all you think about is him/her. I just can't bring myself as of yet to erase pictures, phone numbers, etc. I need them. I know it makes it harder to move on. I cherish him. Dumb dumb. Either way if you hear a HB or not - either way is upsetting. I am still upset from the HB text received at 2pm this afternoon and now it is 11pm. Grrrrr
9Lives Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Thanks 9Lives for the birthday wishes!! It's tough not hearing from the ex. I just need to hear from him and for him to call me. I do not call him...rarely at all when we were seeing each other. I know weird. Now that there is NC on my side I miss him calling me...I know habit. Duh??? He lives like a 3 minute drive from me. (basically around the corner) I have not bumped into him yet while doing errands or anything. We met a bar yup a bar. That is how he scanned me out and played onto me. I do not go to that bar at all....only with him. That is where I broke up with him...how ironic!! His choice to meet there. Again ironic. Hmmm...I guess all in all I am just feeling lonely and want him back - the only thing is he is not real. I want the fake him (narcissist)...which is just an image of me. He has manipulated me and now I believe I think that he did this to me to feel upset, lonely, craving for him, needing him to live. Brainwashing!!! I need to get him off my mind!!! Better to be loney and single....than in a relationship and unhappy. Not to say that being in a relationship is unhappy but it is harder when its not working. Just think.....Im getting to start NEW again. All New! That may be a better way to look at it.
gfunknown Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Sleep on it tonight and awake tomorrow morning all refreshed, renewed and to begin the new journey! Sounds good to me, I hope I can do it. Feeling unhappy sucks and the only way to conquer it is to take control - no thoughts of him - just me me and me. Wake up with the idea of a fresh new start - I like that!! Thanks 9Lives. I need the stitches to the wounds to heal. I know it takes time...
skydiveaddict Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 NC is so difficult when all you think about is him/her. I just can't bring myself as of yet to erase pictures, phone numbers, etc. I need them. I know it makes it harder to move on. I cherish him. Dumb dumb. Either way if you hear a HB or not - either way is upsetting. I am still upset from the HB text received at 2pm this afternoon and now it is 11pm. Grrrrr You got your HB text that you wanted, you still have his pics phone# etc. and where has it gotten you? Do yourself a favor and get rid of that worthless crap
Trovador Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 NC is so difficult when all you think about is him/her. I just can't bring myself as of yet to erase pictures, phone numbers, etc. I need them. I know it makes it harder to move on. I cherish him. Dumb dumb. Either way if you hear a HB or not - either way is upsetting. I am still upset from the HB text received at 2pm this afternoon and now it is 11pm. Grrrrr So you are into NC in hopes of getting back... look, getting rid of gifts and mementos it´s more than a symbolical gesture... somehow, it signals a new beginning, an odd assurance that despite those people aren't going to be in our lives anymore, we will do fine and in a certain way we are affirming that we don't need them for good in our daily existence... besides the obvious benefit of avoiding the triggering of painful memories... But I know how hard a break up is, NC or not, and I don't think less of you for that... btw happy birthday to you! Sweet sixteen! Happy birthday to not strong enough also!
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